“Jesus.” Jake had to bite back a laugh. He should probably discipline Kevin. Cite him for disobeying orders, but damn if that wasn’t what this job was about sometimes. And it was Jake’s own fault for jumping into a flaming truck with zero protective gear. He was the one who deserved to be written up.
While the paramedic wrapped his leg, Jake watched as his men kept the flames down and waited for foam.
He let his head fall back against the truck and sighed. He’d have to get his affection for Kevin under control. Kevin had the right to do his job the same way any of the other firefighters did. Jake would have to review his own reactions tonight and decide if he’d have had the same responses to any of his other men.
On the other hand...Kevin was safe and so was Annabelle’s heart. So everything had turned out fine.
Kevin slapped his shoulder. “Thanks, Pops. You deserve a beer. In fact, I’ll buy you one.”
“No, thanks,” Jake said immediately, but he didn’t feel quite the same conviction he had earlier. A beer sounded damn good now. Adrenalin still rushed through his veins and the idea of seeing Lauren in her little black dress and heels, that full mouth wide as she laughed, her eyes bright with happiness... Yeah. Damn. He’d love to see that.
An hour later, all the reports filed, Jake headed home again. His adrenaline rush had long since faded, but that image of Lauren was stuck in his brain. He normally felt tired after that kind of energy subsided, but this time he felt a little angry.
Why shouldn’t he go out? Why shouldn’t he see Lauren that way? She was a beautiful woman, and he was alive, dammit.
He shook that thought off, refusing to examine it. It felt too large inside him, too significant. But that low anger remained, even as he let himself into the house and hit the shower. Even as he toweled off and dried his hair. Annabelle was out. She was probably at Kevin’s apartment, waiting for him to come home so they could spend the evening together.
Jake walked out of the bathroom and stopped to stare at his bed. The same bed he’d slept in for over twenty years. It needed a new mattress. Badly. Ruth had been trying to talk him into getting a new one for years. Then she’d gotten sick. Then she’d been gone. He wouldn’t have dreamed of replacing it after that.
But tonight he didn’t want to get in it. He stared at the bed, at the oak posters and unmade sheets and warm comforter and crumpled pillows, and told himself to do what he always did. Make a microwave meal. Have a cold beer. Go to sleep and try not to dream and start again tomorrow.
But the sun was barely setting and the world still moved outside. The world still moved. It always did.
No matter who died or how lives were changed, life moved on. For the first time, Jake honestly wanted to move on, too.
Chapter Three
LAUREN WAS HAVING a great time. It didn’t hurt that she was slightly tipsy. It also didn’t hurt that Sophie was offering hilarious commentary about the available mating options.
Lauren was losing her nervous edge and starting to get into it. “Oh, he’s pretty,” she said, poking Sophie’s shoulder to draw her attention. “That guy by the jukebox.”
Sophie’s eyes slid across the room. “He’s pretty, all right. So pretty he’s terrible in bed.”
“You’ve slept with him?”
“No, I can just tell.”
“What?”
Sophie nodded in the face of Lauren’s incredulity. “Look at that smile. Those dimples. See how cute he thinks he looks. He was the cutest guy in his high school, and he never had to do anything to get laid except show up and wait. I promise you he knows nothing about cunnilingus.”
Shocked, Lauren looked him up and down. The pretty boy noticed and shot her a wink. Oh, God, Sophie was right.
Sophie nodded sagely. “What you need is someone who’s just coming into his prime. Maybe he was skinny and nerdy in high school, but now he’s twenty-five and really into river rafting and his muscles have filled out. He?
??s spent a lot of time thinking about—”
“No.” Lauren cut her off. “Twenty-five? I can’t do that, Sophie. No way. Has a twenty-five-year-old even seen stretch marks? Or breasts that have actually fulfilled their function? No, this is not happening.”
“They’re breasts, Lauren! Men like them. All of them. Keep the lights low and let him play with them. Instant happiness.”
Lauren forgot her fears and laughed so hard she snorted. “I can’t believe the words that come out of that cute little face.”
“This little face buys me a lot of leeway. Nobody suspects a thing.”
A rumbling voice cut off Lauren’s laugh. “Hello, ladies.”
Lauren gulped and her gaze rose to the man at her side. And it kept rising.