“That little terrier. Damn thing was smaller than a barn cat.”
For a moment, Walker drew a blank, but then he frowned in surprise. “God, I think I do. It died when we were little, though. You were only five or six, I think.”
“Killed by a coyote. Dad always acted like the dog was a nuisance, but he let him sleep inside at night and sometimes he’d feed him scraps under the table. Do you remember that? It was the weirdest thing. That big man and that scared little dog. And when it died, Dad took it out to bury it behind the barn like it was just another chore, but I heard him crying.”
“Dad?”
“I know. I snuck around the back of the barn, and he was sobbing as he dug that grave.”
Walker shook his head. “I swear, I don’t even know what to say to that. It makes no sense.”
Micah nodded and sipped his coffee. “It doesn’t make anything better, I know, but...I think Dad was the way he was because of Grandpa Pearce.”
Walker blew out a long breath. “That man was a true bastard.”
“Yeah. Meaner than Dad. I think Dad was terrified of him.”
Walker felt a shock at those words. “You think? He just always seemed angry. I can’t picture him scared.”
“I know, but whenever Grandpa Pearce came around, Dad spent all his time in the barn. He even skipped meals if he could. However mean Dad was, however badly he treated you, I think he got it worse as a kid. From his dad and his older brother. That’s what he learned. It’s what he knew.”
“Well, he could’ve learned better if he’d bothered. I’d never treat a kid that way.”
“I know that. You’d be a great father. If you ever managed to settle down.”
Walker didn’t know what to say in response. The thought of having his own kids filled him with a joy so deep it scared him. But the idea that he might pass his learning disability on... That scared him in a deep and different way.
But even if he didn’t have his own kids, maybe he could make up for the way his dad had lived. Maybe he could make that better even for himself.
Walker cleared his throat and shifted the last of the pancakes around on his plate. “Speaking of settling down...”
Micah raised an eyebrow.
“I’ve been thinking of getting that GED.”
“Holy crap, brother.” Micah reached across the table to slap his shoulder. “Yes. Don’t think about it. Just do it.”
“It’s just... It’s hard for me, Micah. It might take a while.”
“Because of your dyslexia? They make accommodations for that. I told you a long time ago that you can listen to the test on audio instead of reading it.”
“You did?”
“Hell yes, I did. How can you not remember that?”
Walker scrubbed a hand through his hair and told himself not to change the subject no matter how much he wanted to. “I don’t know. I don’t like to talk about it. Not even with you.”
“You just have to go to the community college and talk to someone.”
“At the college?”
“Yes, they’ve got clas
ses. They can give you extra time on the test. Jesus, Walker, just do it already. I’ve never seen somebody drag his feet more about anything.”
His brother said it so simply. As if it were no big deal. “Fine,” Walker said, pretending it was easy to face. “Christ. You’re like an old lady about this.”
“You think? Because I’ll take you out back and whip your ass if you don’t get it done.” Micah froze as soon as he said the words. “I’m sorry, Walk. I didn’t mean it like that.”