She spun and walked away, swallowing compulsively against the boulder that had taken over her throat. Her cheeks burned. Her eyes stung. She needed to cry. She hadn’t cried in front of anyone in years, and now she needed to sob. She couldn’t do it. Not here. Not anywhere. Ever.
There wasn’t even a reason to cry, for godssake. After everything that had happened to her, everything her life had been, this was what made her want to break down? A brief affair with a near stranger?
God, it was laughable. But instead of a laugh, a sob snuck out. She inhaled sharply, trying to take it back. Trying to grab it before it dragged more sobs from her.
Oh, God. Oh, God.
She veered away from the groups of people gathered in the yard and headed blindly in the direction of the house. She didn’t know why. She’d chosen the path in panic, and now she didn’t know what to do. If she spun around and moved in the opposite direction, the movement might draw attention, and she couldn’t bear that. So Grace kept going toward the house, then skirted around the corner and rushed toward the backyard.
Once she was hidden from view, she pressed her back to the wall of the house and tipped her head up. She’d read somewhere that looking up could help stop tears. That trick had worked before, but it failed her now. These were more than tears. This felt like another person inside her, another her, trying to push out through her throat. Trying to get free of this mess she’d made of her life.
She pressed her shaking hands to her mouth to hold it back. Her breath rushed past her fingers as she stared up at the roiling sky. Why couldn’t it rain now? Why couldn’t the sky open up and bury her in water?
This was terrible, whatever it was. She didn’t want this. Why did it hurt so much?
“Miss?”
Grace jerked away from the wall and dropped her hands.
“You okay?” Easy asked from the back step of his house.
“I’m good,” she croaked, as if a person in good shape would be hiding behind a house with her hands pressed to her mouth to hold back sobs.
“You look real pale, Miss…Grace, is it?”
“Yes,” she said on a breath. “Just a little professional drama, Mr. Easy. That’s all. I’m fine.”
“Come on in for some lemonade.”
“No, thank you. Really.” The pressure was easing, thank God. She could almost speak normally.
“A beer, then.”
The fact that she could fake a smile surprised her. “No. I’m fine.”
“You want me to get Cole?”
“What?” she gasped. “No!”
“Sorry. I saw you with him last night.”
For a moment, she flashed back to what she’d done with Cole the night before, then realized Easy was talking about the saloon.
“Oh. No, don’t get him. I’m fine.”
“If you and Cole—”
“Did you know Rayleen is my aunt?” she interrupted, desperate to change the subject.
His chin drew in. “What?”
“Rayleen is my great-aunt.”
“Well. No, I didn’t know that. I didn’t think she had any family to speak of.”
“Oh, she seems like she might’ve sprung from the depths of Hades, but she has a family. Her sister—my grandmother—she lives in Florida.”
“Huh.” He rocked back on his heels.