“You think I’m beautiful? You have a funny way of showing it.”
“You know I do. I told you that when I was in your bed.” My cock stirred as images of fucking her flashed through my brain. Her cheeks flushed, and I knew she was thinking the same thoughts as me.
“What was today all about, then? The way you treated me—there’s no excuse for that. I’ve still got the bruises from where you marked me. A reminder of something that was special to me. You took my virginity, Carter, and today you humiliated me and acted like it meant nothing to you.” The devastation in her eyes was unmistakable, and I stepped closer, leaning down slightly and kissing her soft lips. I couldn’t help it any longer. It was like a compulsion. She put her hand to my chest, and I thought she was going to push me away, but instead, she pulled me closer. “Why are you so sexy when you’re all hot and sweaty from football training?” she mumbled to herself. “It shouldn’t be allowed.”
I didn’t reply, just kissed her harder, wrapping my arms around her body.
The sound of a door slamming somewhere outside the room had her pulling back suddenly and shoving at my chest. “No. This isn’t happening. You can’t distract me with your kisses.” Her mouth set in a flat line, and she leaned backwards, further away from me, her eyes turning hard. “You didn’t answer my question. What was today all about? In the cafeteria?”
“Rai…” I stepped back, running a hand through my hair, and decided on full honesty. “We can’t be together. Not in public. Not yet. Maybe not even at all. I can’t allow you to get caught up in these rumours.” And I wasn’t sure I could handle my parents’ reaction to us being together. I didn’t voice that part aloud, though. My jaw clenched, and then I made a tentative suggestion. “Maybe we could see each other in private, for now? No one has to know.”
“Are you actually serious?” She gaped at me. “First of all, you were the one who started everything. If it hadn’t been for you spreading the rumour in the first place, none of this would have happened. And second, I’m not going to be your dirty little secret. Either you’re with me, properly, like a boyfriend, or you’re not with me at all.”
“That’s—” I started, but she held up her hand.
“I’m not finished. This is long overdue. Do you know how you dismissing me earlier made me feel? How you hurt me every time you pretend like you don’t have feelings for me in front of your friends? For so long, I felt unworthy. Less. But you know what?” Her voice grew louder as she jabbed her finger into my chest. “I’m. Not. Less. I’m just as fucking worthy as you. And I’m done placing my hopes on a boy who cares more about untrue rumours and reputations than the girl who’s falling in—” She cut herself off, absolute fury and pain darkening her face, and she shoved me backwards with all her strength, jumping off the table and flying from the room, slamming the door behind her.
I was fucking stunned. Her words burned through me, shocking me to my core.
“You can be a real dick, sometimes.” The soft voice came from the open doorway. I hadn’t even noticed the door opening.
“You heard that?” I looked at Imogen’s disapproving face, and she nodded. “I heard enough.” She stepped closer. “Why would you care what people think?”
“It’s not that,” I insisted, shaking my head. “She’s got it wrong. I’m trying to protect her.” And my head is so fucked up… I shook my head again, trying to dislodge my thoughts.
She raised a brow, leaning against the wall with her arms folded. “Do you like her?”
I shrugged, and she glanced over at the open door, then moved away from me and pulled the door closed. “Do you want her?”
I shrugged again.
“How would you feel if she was with someone else?”
Jealousy lashed through me, and I gritted my teeth, my fists clenched.
“It’s clear to me, and probably everyone else that saw you two kiss, that there’s something more between you. You’re Carter Blackthorne. King of the school. If you want her, then there’s no one to stop you.”
“What if I make everything worse or completely fuck things up? What if she becomes even more of a target? What if I lose everything?” The words spilled out of me before I could censor them.
“Forget those what-ifs for a minute. What if you gain something worth losing everything else for?” Her voice softened, and she reached out to touch my arm. “Is Raine worth the risk? Only you can decide that.”
Raine had disappeared by the time I got outside. I guess it shouldn’t have been surprising. I bet she’d got a lift home from that drama club kid. The thought filled me with unreasonable jealousy, and I gritted my teeth as I made my way to my truck.
When I was home, I reclined on my bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to make sense of my thoughts, before I gave up and reached for my phone.
Me: Talk to me. PLEASE.
The indicator to say she’d read my message popped up almost straight away, but after ten minutes with no reply, I sent her another text.
Me: I’m sorry
Raine: You say you’re sorry, but nothing changes. I’ve had enough. As far as I’m concerned, whatever this was between us is over. DONE.
Me: Can we talk about this?
She never replied. And later that evening, when I couldn’t stand it any longer and sneaked over to her house to climb through her window, it was locked, and despite my knocks to the glass, her bedroom remained dark.
29