Me: Thanks. I’ve got this but I like knowing you’re there for me
Delinquent: Always
Slipping my phone into my pocket, I turned to Carter, keeping my voice low so I didn’t attract unwanted attention. “Can I have a quick word? In private?”
He gave me a curious look, but he answered immediately. “Yeah, of course.” We both stood, and Kian gave me a small, reassuring nod. I headed outside to a table at the far side of the quad, where we wouldn’t be overheard. My legs suddenly felt like they were going to give way, and I threw myself into a seat before Carter noticed.
He remained standing. I blew out a heavy breath, forcibly tensing my leg to stop it from bouncing. “Can you sit down? You’re making me nervous.”
As he sat down, I concentrated on breathing, trying to gather my thoughts. My stomach rolled.
Carter interrupted my thoughts. “Mate, spit it out. You’re making me nervous, now.”
Right.
Here goes nothing. “Sorry, man. I need to tell you something. I wanted to give you a heads-up, since you’re the soccer team captain.” I held his gaze, resting my elbows on the table in front of me. “A couple of people know already, but before rumours start spreading, I wanted to tell you myself. I’m…I’m gay. I want to tell the rest of the team. Get it out there, you know?”
The silence stretched uncomfortably. My mind flashed to my ex back in the US, and how the football team had taken the news that he was gay.
Fuck.
Before my thoughts spiralled into panic, Carter finally broke the silence, his eyes on mine, full of sincerity. “I’ve got your back. You want me to tell the team?”
My relief was instant. “I’ll tell them. Do you… Do you think anyone will have a problem?”
His expression hardened. “If they have a problem, they’ll have to fucking go through me. If anyone gives you a hard time, anyone, you come straight to me, okay? And if you want me to be there when you tell them, I will.”
“Thanks, man. My ex…he, uh. His teammates didn’t take it well when he came out to them. I’d appreciate it if you were there when I tell the others.” I gave him a small smile.
“Consider it done. Most of the boys are sound, but I won’t lie and say it’ll be an easy ride. I’ll be around to deal with anyone who gives you problems, though. We’re a team.” He rose to his feet and headed around the table to me. Placing a hand on my shoulder, he added, “Whenever you want to tell them, I’ll be there.”
I nodded my thanks, and we headed back inside. “Thanks for being cool with it,” I murmured, then cast around for a change of subject. “Speaking of thanks, I never said thanks for organising the party.”
My idea to belatedly celebrate Kian’s and my birthdays was going ahead, and we’d roped in Ben, another guy on the soccer team, since his birthday was coming up. Kian and Carter had taken on the organisation, and I was happy to let them sort it all out. I didn’t care what we did—all I cared about was putting a smile on Kian’s face, and to show him that despite his parents’ neglect, there were people that cared about him and wanted to celebrate with him.
“You’re welcome.” Carter gave me a quick grin as we reached our table. The sound of the bell to indicate the end of lunch hour swallowed up anything else I was going to say, and there was a flurry of activity as everyone grabbed their bags and headed to their respective classes.
“How did it go?” Kian asked me in a low voice as we made our way out of the cafeteria.
“Good. Better than I hoped.”
“Good.” He curled the tip of his finger over mine, his touch so brief that it was almost like I’d imagined it, before he was gone, swallowed by the crowd of students.
13
Lying on my bed, I scrolled through my phone, willing the time to go more quickly. Pausing on the message from my teammate Ben, I read through his words again, before tapping out a response.
Ben: Appreciate ur bravery today bro. It sucks that it should even be an issue but u never know how much speaking out will help someone else. Wish my cousin had someone like u around when he was at school
Me: I wish he had too. No one should have to struggle on their own. I appreciate your support. It means a lot
He sent me a thumbs-up emoji in reply, and I smiled, thinking back to earlier.
“Ready?” Carter spoke in a low voice, and I nodded. Standing in the locker room in front of the soccer team, with all eyes on me after Carter’s call for everyone’s attention, the nerves returned in full force.
“You’ve got this.” Kian’s voice was barely a whisper, only for my ears, and it bolstered me. Flanked by two of the three kings of Alstone High, I cleared my throat, then spoke up.
“Hi. I, uh. We’re a team, and I want…I want to be open and honest with you guys.” My voice cracked, and I cleared my throat again. “I’m—I’m gay. Always have been. I just wanted to get it out there, in the interests of transparency.”