Love and lust was a heady mixture. He could feel her innocence under his fingers, innocence without the coyness which most women possessed in generous measure. She wanted him and she wasn’t hardened enough to try and dissemble. He unclasped the front opening of her bra and moaned in anticipation of the pleasure he would get pulling it aside, freeing those large breasts from their imprisonment. God, he wanted to slow down—but he couldn’t. His body wasn’t behaving sensibly enough for any such thing.
He was only just beginning to realise how long he had wanted this woman. It felt like for ever.
He slowly pushed aside her bra and his breathing thickened as he feasted his eyes on her breasts. She didn’t want talking—oh, no—and nor did he, but if he’d been inclined he could have spent at least an hour expounding on what he was looking at. Firm, big breasts with big, swollen brown nipples, each topped with protruding buds that seemed to be begging for his lips.
This he would not rush, even though his throbbing, stiff manhood, pushing against his zipped trousers, was making its demands very clear.
He bent his head to one breast and flicked his tongue over the protruding bud. This woman’s body, like her company, was worth savouring. He wanted to taste every inch of her, and then he wanted to repeat the process all over again.
Her hands moved to his head, urging him to do more than just lick, and he pushed her breasts up with his hands, suckling avidly on the nipples, turned on by the sheen of his saliva on them.
He touched her stomach, placed his hand palm-down on it, and then moved to caress the inside of her thigh.
From the depths of her excitement, Destiny knew where his hand wanted to be. She wanted it too. Her body was melting, waiting for him. Through her jeans, he began to rub, cupping her while she squirmed against his hand. She felt him undo the button of her trousers, pull down the zipper, and terror made her stiffen.
She had never made love before and this wasn’t how she was supposed to lose her virginity. She struggled under him and he looked at her.
‘What’s the matter?’
‘I can’t.’ They were both still breathing heavily.
‘You can’t?’
‘I’m sorry,’ she said helplessly. ‘I…I’ve never…’
‘And I’ll be gentle, my darling…’
‘No. You don’t understand.’ He had called her his darling, but she wasn’t, was she? Cold reality gleefully resurfaced. She’d given herself, allowed him to do things, and she’d never stopped to ask herself why. Why the sudden physical interest in her? Well, she asked the question now and the answer came immediately. He was a man on the rebound, vulnerable and in need, and she’d been a willing and eager participant in easing his pain after Stephanie.
‘What? What don’t I understand? I understand what you wanted up to a minute ago…’
‘This isn’t right.’ She wriggled, but he was already drawing back from her, sitting up, watching as she miserably fumbled with her bra, then shoved her shirt back on. Dishevelled, but at least clothed. In a manner of speaking.
‘Why not?’ Callum demanded. ‘We’re both adults.’
‘I can’t just… Look, I’m sorry, but…I’m not a Stephanie substitute…’
‘I never accused you of being one!’ he exploded; then he drew in a few sharp breaths and eyed her narrowly.
‘And I can’t… I have to love someone… I’m not the kind of girl who… I realise that there’s an awful lot I don’t know, and I’m sure if I were a bit more sophisticated…who knows…? But I’m not, and I can’t, and I want to go up to my room now. Please.’
‘Go ahead,’ he said brusquely. ‘I’m not about to stop you. But your mother should have warned you about leading men on.’
His words echoed in her head as she finally made it to her bedroom, as did the sensation of his eyes on her back as she had fled in inelegant panic.
Want and lust were all very well, but they weren’t enough. She needed stability and security and marriage and babies, and if that was old-fashioned, then it described it down to the last detail.
She lay down on the bed, buried her face in her pillow and knew that she would have to do something about what was happening to her. She could feel herself poised with one foot dangling over the cliff, and she couldn’t fall over.
She needed to remind herself of what was real for her and there was only one person who could do that for her.
CHAPTER SEVEN
HENRI arrived in England eight days later.
During the interim, Destiny immersed herself in the company, had daily meetings with various members of the board to discuss flow charts, saw Derek twice, had dinner with Stephanie several times and generally busied herself with anything and everything that could take her mind off Callum.