Without warning, I flip her over onto her stomach. She yelps in shock as I press my weight into her body, pinning her to the mattress. Her ass isn’t any better against my hard dick, but I can’t fucking look at her face right now. I can’t take in the softness and confusion there. I can’t fucking stand it.
Her body quivers beneath mine, and I want to slip between her legs and into her dripping pussy, but I don’t.
I won’t. Ever.
“I’m not that stupid,” I breathe against her hair.
“Wh-what are you talking about?” Her voice is small. Breathless and muffled.
My nose brushes that sweet spot at the base of her neck, flooding my nostrils with her scent. My head spins, high on the feeling of her.
“I know what you tried to do with Zaid,” I say, ignoring the soft feel of her beneath me. Ignoring myself. “That shit isn’t going to work on me too. We’ve been given orders by our commander, and we follow those orders no matter what. You might not think men like us have honor, but we live by a fucking code. You understand that?”
She nods, the movement so slight it barely registers.
It takes every ounce of self-control I have to pull my body off of hers. I tug my shirt back over my head, then walk around the other side of the bed and pull ropes out of the nightstand drawer. She lifts her chin up, watching me like a cat.
“Get up,” I tell her, setting the binds aside. I cross the room and gather up her clothes, ignoring the wobble of her legs as she walks over to me. I toss the clothes at her, more forcefully than is probably necessary. “Get dressed.”
She scrambles to tug on her clothing, refusing to look at me until she’s fully dressed. It’s just as fucking well. I’m hanging on by a goddamn thread, and if she pushes me again, if she tempts me one more time, that thread is likely to snap.
&n
bsp; As soon as she closes the button on her jeans, I gesture for her to get back on the bed. My jaw clenches as I rein myself back in to where I need to be, remembering the role I need to play. Remembering who the fuck I am.
Once she’s settled on the mattress, I reach for the binds and immediately tie her arms up, pushing aside mental images of her in the same position.
Naked.
Begging for me.
Screaming my name.
She doesn’t say a single word, and her silence eats away at my heart like poison. She tries not to look at me, but when her gaze flicks to my face briefly, I see everything in her eyes that I never wanted to see.
Disappointment. Hurt. Betrayal.
I don’t know if she’s disappointed that we stopped, hurt by the fact that we ever even started, or betrayed by the fact that I’m tying her up now.
It really shouldn’t matter. I shouldn’t give a shit what she feels.
But it does. And I do.
“It won’t work, princess. Whatever you’re trying to pull.” I shake my head, clenching my hands into fists. “I had feelings for you once, but that doesn’t mean shit anymore. You can’t use it to manipulate me now.”
I watch the subtle shift in emotion cross her face—the way her eyes widen just slightly, her breath stilling in her chest. I have an overwhelming desire to close the space between us and claim her lips, disproving my words, but I’m not stupid.
I back away before it becomes too much. Turning away, I stride quickly to the door and close it behind me, turning the lock while I’m at it. We had locks fitted on the outside of the door in this room, but I suddenly wish the lock was on Grace’s side.
Not that it would matter.
It would take more than just a lock to keep me away.
14
Grace
I don’t know what to do besides stare at the ceiling above me and try to process what just happened. Or rather, what happened an hour ago. Or two. Or twenty minutes. There’s no fucking clock in here, and without a way to tell time, it starts to all blend into each other.