“Better now that I’m clean,” I answer honestly, glancing at the food as I lean against him. I’m hungry, but my stomach rebels at the thought of eating. I reach for the whiskey instead, pretty sure I can keep that down.
“Good.” He turns his head and presses a kiss to my temple, then looks over at Gray again, making a little noise in his throat. “You get clean too?”
I don’t think he’s jealous of what happened between me and his friend, he’s just staking his claim. None of them own more of me than the other, because none of them own any of me. I own myself completely and entirely, and I think they know that. There’s no animosity between them, but all of us are still figuring out how this thing will work.
Me being in a relationship with all of them.
Is that what this is? I wonder, taking a shot of whiskey. Are they all my boyfriends?
We haven’t defined it. We haven’t needed to. Everything just sort of fell into place naturally, as if this is the most natural thing in the world. As if the four of us were never meant to be anything but what we are.
“Yeah.” Gray settles in on the other side of the island, the coolness of his blue-green eyes warming a little as he shares a look with me. “I did.”
Declan huffs a breath, and Elias shakes his head. “Come on, dude. She’s recovering from being abducted, fighting for her life, and escaping from a damn psychopath’s bunker.”
You didn’t have to go and fuck her, is the unspoken rest of his sentence, and I glance at Max, rolling my eyes.
She’s blushing just slightly, and I’m not sure if she’s blushing for my sake or because the… relationship between the Sinners and me is so different from most traditional sorts of relationships. I haven’t had time to talk about it specifically with her, but she knows there’s something going on between the four of us, and I’m glad to see she’s not questioning it.
I’ve stopped questioning it myself. Stopped trying to define it. I feel something for all three of the guys—maybe something slightly different for each one, but equally intense. I think they feel it too, and I already know they like sharing me sexually.
Elias doesn’t have an issue with Gray having sex with me, just with the timing.
“I’m fine, Elias,” I promise. Giving him a sly grin and dropping my voice, I add, “Next time I shower, you can join me.”
His eyes go dark instantly and my heart stutters, my grin fading away. I go to lean past him to reach for the whiskey that Max is working on, but he stops me, clamping a hand on my waist.
“Sophie,” he says quietly
, spinning me around to face him so that my chest brushes his chest, his breath fanning against my lips. “Don’t tease me like that, Blue. It’s not funny.”
When the lower half of his body presses into mine, the kitchen is suddenly hot and heavy. My skin is suddenly hot and heavy. He’s being completely fucking serious, and my mind is tripping on images that don’t have anything to do with the fact that I just got kidnapped and we need to take Alan down.
I open my mouth to say something sassy, but he shuts me up with a kiss before I can even think about it. When his tongue slides up against the seam of my mouth, I know he’s showing off a little for the others, putting on a show for them. But I play along, tasting the spicy whiskey in his kiss and absorbing the rumble of a groan that vibrates in his throat.
I pull away before it can get too indecent, but our lips stay connected until the last second. When our gazes meet, something warm blossoms in my chest. I know I still look like shit despite my shower. My skin isn’t dirty and bloody anymore, but my eyes are puffy and I still bear the marks of bruises and scrapes. I like that none of the Sinners look at me like I’m broken, though. I like that they look at me like they still want me.
Broken or whole, they’ll always want me.
The grip Elias has on my hips tightens almost painfully for half a second, then he lets go. When I turn back for the whiskey, Declan is staring at me, an intense look on his face as he rests his palms on the kitchen island.
I feel my lips tilt up despite myself. “You too? We’re gonna need a bigger shower.”
I know it’s stupid to joke around right now, but after all the shit I’ve been through in the past twenty-four hours? I need to feel something besides the unrelenting wash of anger and pain.
Pushing back from the island, Declan walks around it and reaches for me. Elias relinquishes me to his friend’s grasp, and our gazes meet for a time-stopping second before he puts a gentle hand around my neck and under my hair, tugging my face toward his. His kiss is just as gentle as it is possessive, and when we pull away, I see the promise of so much more lingering in his eyes.
I clear my throat, ignoring the pulse of heat that’s rapidly settling in my chest and between my legs. Whatever this is between us, this thing that doesn’t need to be defined or explained, I know one thing for sure.
It’s real.
This isn’t an illusion or a lie. It isn’t just some game the Sinners are playing—to see who can get the most from Sophie, pass her around and try to one-up each other. It’s fucking real, and that’s as reassuring as it is terrifying. Because if the events of the past twenty-four hours have proved anything, it’s that my heart is involved now.
And it’s a fucking tangled mess.
“Do I get a kiss too?” Max jokes, lifting an eyebrow as Declan steps away from me.
I chuckle, but instead of answering, I take a shot of whiskey and glance at the clock. It’s ten in the morning, and I haven’t really slept all night, but I know I won’t be able to just go to bed. And clearly, none of us are planning on going to class, even though it’s a Monday.