For a second, all I feel is a creeping sort of numbness.
There’s no way of knowing what’s really going on, and it paralyzes me for a second. And then the freak out starts, the fear and worry rising in me like nausea, threatening to overflow.
This is it. This is it, and I don’t know what to do. My dad, my best friend for so long, the man who raised me and sacrificed and gave everything I have, is going to die. There’s nothing I can do to stop it, and whatever this assignment Sloan’s dad gave him is going to get him killed.
I stand stock still for a second, gripping my phone tightly as I replay every word of the conversation over in my head.
My dad sounded like someone who was afraid for their life. Like he wanted to check in and make sure I was okay so he’d know that I was taken care of no matter what happens.
No matter if he comes back to me or not.
It’s unbearable, and it makes tears burn the backs of my eyes. I could tell from his voice that he felt like he let me down, but the truth is, I let him down. I should’ve been able to find a way to leverage my position at the guys’ house by now. If I’d gotten hold of something damaging to use against them, maybe I could’ve struck a bargain in exchange for Dad’s release from whatever “favor” he owes them.
But I didn’t uncover enough. And now it’s too late.
I turn on my heel and quickly march back inside. I need one of the guys. One of them, all of them. They have to know what’s happening. They have to be able to do something.
Almost mindlessly, I push through the bodies in the middle of the room we were in before. Some people give me looks of annoyance, but I ignore them, continuing to shove my way through until I spot Levi standing in a cluster of guys having a conversation.
“Levi,” I breathe and grab his arm, trying to tug him away.
His brow furrows as he looks at me. “Hey. Is everything okay?”
“I need to talk to you,” I tell him, and whatever he sees in my face makes him nod and excuse himself from the conversation. I pull him over to a relatively quiet corner and wrap my arms around myself.
“What’s going on, Mercy?” he asks me, frowning.
“I need—you have to find a way to let my dad out of this bargain.”
“What?”
“Whatever it is he’s doing, he can’t.” My stomach feels like it’s twisting itself into a giant knot, making the drinks I had earlier slosh around unpleasantly. “It’s going to kill him, and you have to do something.”
Something flashes in his eyes. I can’t tell what it is, but his voice is softer when he speaks. “No, Mercy. I can’t. That’s not my call.”
All I really hear is the “no.”
I see him shaking his head, stepping back a bit, and I feel my stomach flip over. I drop my arms from around myself and clench my fingers into fists. The panic is rapidly being replaced with anger, and that’s a good thing, actually.
I’m better with anger than I am with fear.
“I thought you gave a shit,” I snap, my words tipped with venom.
Without saying anything else, I spin on my heel and march away, leaving him standing in the corner looking surprised.
My jaw tightens, and I blink back tears as I jostle my way through the crowd.
Goddammit. I thought they were starting to care about me, at least a little, but obviously I was fucking wrong. It’s always been about their precious gang, about maintaining the Black Rose name and obeying orders. That’s the only thing that matters to them. I?
?ve just been something fun to fuck around with in the meantime, clearly.
All the laughs and teasing and heated looks are just bullshit that means nothing in the end. Because I don’t matter to them, and I’ve been so fucking stupid for thinking that I do.
I wish I hadn’t set my drink down before, because suddenly all I want is something to take the edge off. All I can think about is my worry and fear for my dad and how no one will lift a finger to help him. I’m scared and pissed off, and I just need something to soothe the raw edges of my nerves.
The bar is packed with people, and I can’t stand the thought of waiting in that crush to get a drink, so I wander the house instead, adrenaline buzzing through my veins.
Near the back of the large house, I step into a room that’s dimly lit, and a pretty woman in a blue dress smiles at me.