I’m about to slide under the covers when the door to my room opens. My head snaps toward it as I sit up, my muscles tensing and my body instantly in fight-or-flight mode—which for me is basically “fight mode.” I’m about two seconds away from ripping into whoever it is who thinks they can just barge into my room without knocking, but Levi comes striding in with a purpose.
The words die in my throat before they can come out, and I blink at him, surprised. He walks right up to the bed and grabs my face in his hands.
I have a split second to think about how warm they are before he’s leaning in and kissing me. It’s just a short kiss, nothing too hot or heavy, but it takes me by surprise. It’s enough to open the floodgates on the memories of our hookup that I’ve been trying not to think about, and suddenly, I’m drowning in them.
In vividly captured images.
In memories I’ve never been able to forget.
His hands on me, touching me everywhere. Him pulling me closer, easing his cock into my body. His lips on my mouth, my neck, my breasts. The way he laughed when I demanded more, but then gave it to me anyway.
It’s all I can think about for a second, and before I have a chance to either kiss him back or shove him away, he lets me go and steps back, half hidden in the shadows of the dark room.
We stare at each other for a second in the dim light, and I know my face is red, lips parted. I’ve been kissed more times tonight than I had in a while before this, and my head is spinning a bit.
Levi licks his lips. It’s so dark in my room that his face is painted in shadows, but I can see the gleam of his eyes disappear and then reappear as he blinks once.
“I wanted more,” he says in a low voice. “I did. Just so you know.”
Before I can say or do anything in response to that, he leaves just as quickly as he came in.
I’m left sitting on the bed, mouth open, staring at the closed door Levi disappeared through. He meant the time we were together before, I know that much.
He wanted more.
Of me.
Of us.
Fuck, what a mess.
The calm I’ve been struggling to hold on to is shattered now, and I just sigh and get into bed properly, pulling the covers up over my head and punching at my pillows like they’ll somehow give up the answers to all my problems.
You have to do better, Mercy. You have to.
I say it over and over again to myself. I need to add more layers to the armor around my heart if I’m going to get through this. Because somehow, no matter how much I try to hate them, these guys keep breaking through.
17
Another week goes by pretty quickly, and I do my best to stick to my resolutions. I keep my distance from all the guys when I can and try to be emotionally distant when I can’t.
Sloan makes that pretty easy, since he doesn’t seem to want to look me in the eye after what happened between us in that locker room, and I’m happy to ignore him right back. Levi’s still stalking me around my campus, but neither of us are very talkative. The car rides to and from school are quiet, and I can tell he’s just as much in his head as I am. I’m grateful for that, because I don’t want to talk about the kiss or the night at their gym hangout ever again.
Rory seems amused by the whole thing, but he doesn’t push me, letting me ignore him when we happen to be in the kitchen at the same time and not teasing me as much as he would normally. I’m not sure why he’s taking it so easy on me, but I’m not going to overthink it.
I have more important things to focus on. Like my dad. I’m getting more and more worried about him with every day that passes. It’s been over three weeks now, and I haven’t heard anything from him since that text he sent the day after I came to live with the guys. I can only hope whatever task Sloan’s dad gave him isn’t too dangerous, and he can manage to complete it.
But it’s taking a long time, and I don’t know if that’s normal or if it means something’s gone wrong. I don’t want to call and bother him, especially if he’s doing something that needs his focus, but I’m worried as fuck.
I lie in bed at night, thinking about how I wish there was something more I could do, something that would help speed things up. I want him to be safe, but also this is the longest we’ve ever gone without talking. We haven’t spoken since the night of his fight, weeks ago now, and I miss him like hell.
He’s been all I have for so long. I have Scarlett, of course, but Dad is my family. It’s been the two of us since my mom died, and thinking about him out there, doing whatever he’s been charged to do by the Black Roses, all alone, makes my heart hurt.
I need to do better here on my end. I need to find out more about the men I’m stuck with, in case there’s anything that can help me help Dad. This thing isn’t over yet, and neither of us will be safe until we’re completely out from under the thumb of the Black Rose gang.
During the week, I have classes, and the guys do whatever it is they do. They come and go as they like, and there’s not much time for me to really dig into anything.
But on the weekends, there’s more wiggle room.