“I swear to you, Hailey. I have not talked to her. She was not there when I got my back tattoo, and she sure as hell hasn’t been around now.”
“Funny, because she acted like she was. Made some interesting assumptions about your personality.”
“Like what?” he asked.
“Like the fact that I needed to call her personal trainer to make sure my body bounced back from this child. You know, since you keep yourself in such fine shape.”
I watched as Bryan’s jaw tensed. His fists clenched at his sides, and he went into attack mode. I’d only ever seen this attitude in him a couple of other times, and it was when his mother was offending me in some way. I felt a part of my resolve crumble. I felt another part of me step over to his side of the story. That he hadn’t seen her recently and that he wasn’t cheating and that this was all some massive plot to get me to break before I had this child.
His child.
Our child.
“She what?” he asked.
“Don’t get all high and mighty,” I said. “The damage is done. I’m aware I’ve put on weight, and it’s your issue if you can’t deal with that.”
“Hailey, I make love to you every night. I whisper in your ear how beautiful I think you are. Why the hell would you ever believe something like that coming from a stranger?”
“She isn’t a stranger to you,” I said.
“Yes, she damn well is to me!”
The tone of his voice caught me off guard, and it caused me to jump. He was angry, but I didn’t care. I was done with the past. With people trying to bring me down and exploit me. I was done with people popping up, thinking they could ruin what should be one of the most beautiful times in my life. I stuffed my face with the rest of the cheesy fries before I grabbed my soda, draining it down the bottom as I kept my eyes hooked with Bryan’s.
For the first time in our relationship, I didn’t care that he was angry.
“I don’t believe you,” I said.
“I am not cheating on you,” he said.
“It doesn’t matter if you aren’t. That woman, who is everything I never will be, came into my art gallery and gave me every inclination that she’d talked to you recently. And if she hasn’t talked to you, then she’s fucking talked to someone. So, I suggest you get on the phone with Laura Green, the Laura you couldn’t remember until I described how beautiful she was, and figure out why the hell she was in my art gallery today.”
“I don’t have her number, Hailey! I literally have not seen her in years!”
“Well, she’s kept tabs on you! And I know you. You’re never oblivious to anything. So, either you’re hiding something from me, or you’re not man enough to admit you got your dick wet with another woman.”
“And you haven’t been hiding something from me? You’ve been avoiding me and skulking around and spending late nights at work, and for what? Because you’re pregnant? Because you have heartburn? Because it’s hard hiring someone? I’ve known for weeks you’ve been hiding something from me, so even if I was hiding something from you, you don’t have a leg to stand on!”
Bryan was panting with anger and burning tears were welling in my eyes. They dripped down my face as I tossed my empty soda cup into the sink. I could feel my body humming with stress. Coursing with unused energy. Voices in my head were screaming, and the child in my body was using my uterus as a kickboxing ring.
I couldn’t take it anymore.
I couldn’t take our life together anymore.
“Get out,” I said breathlessly.
“Hailey, I’m not going anywhere,” he said.
“Get. The fuck. Out.”
“No. I’m staying until we figure this shit out.”
I grabbed my soda cup out of the sink and threw it at him. The empty container splattered against his chest, spilling ice everywhere. I picked up a rag and threw it at him, smacking him in the face as he backed away from my assault.
My vision was blurred, I was so angry with him. With life. With his parents and with mine. With the Ben situation and how I had to sell his brother’s paintings to pay off a debt John never owed in the first fucking place. I was angry with Laura and with Bryan. With the house we were in that seemed too small to hold us any longer. I was angry with the fact that I had no control and that my body was being ripped apart by a growing child who was becoming more and more selfish by the day.
Just like his mother.
Just like Ben.
Just like Laura fucking Green.
“Get! Out!” I shrieked.
I picked up a picture off the table, and I threw it at the door. Bryan left and closed it just in time, shattering the glass into a million pieces. I sank to the floor, my sobs constricting my chest as I curled up into as tight of a ball as I could get in.
Never in my life had I ever wanted to die.
But in that moment, I found myself wishing the cancer would’ve killed me.
Chapter 21
Bryan
I stood on the porch and listened to the glass shatter against the door. What the hell happened? I stood on the porch and listened as Hailey’s sobs poured out from behind the walls of the house. Cheating? On her? Did she not know me at all? How in the world could she possibly think I was cheating on her? If anything, I didn’t have the time to cheat! Between building our damn home, dealing with her emotional bullshit, working at the foundation, and fielding my mother’s asshole antics, I didn’t have a second to myself! Where in the world did she think I had the time to get my dick wet?
I turned and stormed off the porch. If throwing shit made her feel better, then who was I to stop her? She was in a world where I couldn’t reach her, an emotional tirade that was going to leave her alone and empty by the time she was done expressing herself. But I wasn’t going to be here for it. She could work through whatever shit she wanted to alone. The only thing I wanted was for her to open up to me, and she was hell-bent on keeping things from me.
And if she didn’t want to work on it, then maybe none of this was worth it.
I ripped open my truck door and got in. My face was dripping with the wetness of the rag she threw in my face. I sat down on the seat and gripped the steering wheel, trying to come to terms with what had just happened. Every single part of me wanted to run off to Drew’s, to sit down on his couch or sit myself down in his tattoo parlor and have at it. But as I continued to draw deep breaths and calm the shaking of my body, it hit me.
None of this sounded right.
It was absurd that Hailey could ever convince herself I’d cheat on her, and I was angry with her for believing I could. The two of us had walked through fire together, and I thought we had come out stronger on the other end. But Laura Green popping up from out of the blue was odd. I hadn’t seen that woman since before I graduated high school, and she was nowhere near me when I got that cabin tattoo from Drew. She knew I worked at the foundation alongside Ellen St. Claire, she knew I was happy there, and she obviously knew enough about my life to know where to find Hailey just to piss her off.
And there was only one fountain of information where she could’ve received all of that.
Laura wasn’t even that into me when we were together. It was the reason we didn’t survive past high school. People thought we would. Others around us thought we would get married. But her eyes would always wander, and her attention was always elsewhere. I would talk about how Drew and I wanted to open our own business, and she would laugh and shrug it off like I was talking about some child’s dream of becoming a cowboy someday.
Yes, she was my first kiss. And yes, I gave her my virginity. But none of that mattered. Everyone had a first. Hailey had a first. But with Laura supposedly coming into her gallery and spouting off all this shit, she should have never known, it was becoming clear as to why Hailey thought I might’ve been cheating.
I was still angry with her that she could jump to that conclusion instead of coming to talk with me. But that sort of seemed to be her speciality in life.
I refused to leave. We were going to duke this out one way or another until we can to a conclusion. Either we resolved this and got to the root of it, or it destroyed us, and we became co-parents. But we were adults, and we needed to deal with this as adults. If Hailey wasn’t going to willingly open up to me, then I was going to have to make her.
Even if it meant sending her on a guilt trip.
I slid from my truck and slammed the door behind me. I marched back up to the front door and opened it up, listening as the broken glass slid along the floor. I bent over and picked up the battered frame as Hailey’s sobs poured down the stairs. It was a picture of us on the European tour. Sun-kissed and smiling as we held each other close. Hailey was about four months along in the picture, in a beautiful flowing dress that fluttered around her knees.
Things had been so much simpler on that tour.
I tossed the picture on the chair as I started up the stairs. I followed the sound of Hailey crying and found her curled up in our bed. She was shaking underneath the covers as I sat on the edge of the bed, trying not to disturb her as she took her moment. If it hadn’t been clear to me before, it was now. Hailey was overly emotional, and I needed to get to the root of it now.
“I’m not cheating on you,” I said.
“Not like you can prove it,” Hailey said.