Anger lit the blood in his veins, but he quashed it down. Speaking through gritted teeth, he denied it as strongly as he could “That’s about as far from the truth as you could possibly get.”
She studied him from under her lashes for a moment then glanced away again. She was attempting to push him away, and he wasn’t having any of it. He’d been so cocksure about it, about what they needed to do and why, and now he saw the reality of the situation. Sky was fragile, more fragile than he could ever have guessed. This thing with her Nan had unnerved her, and as a result she was fretting about everything, including their relationship.
Calmly, he vowed to get to the bottom of it.
“I’ll make us a hot drink.” He crossed to the hospitality tray and unplugged the kettle taking it the bathroom. As he filled it, he glanced back over his shoulder.
He wanted to comfort her, to tell her he knew and understood, but he couldn’t do that. Not unless she revealed what was on her mind. He willed her to open up and let him in. There was something missing and he needed to know. He cared for her too much to ignore the obvious signs.
Sky got up and paced about, then sat gingerly on the edge of the bed. She was restless, alternately gripping the covers with her hands before folding them across her chest defensively.
While the kettle creaked into life and began to boil, he stared over at her and wondered why he felt the way he did. He had to know what made her tick, and if he didn’t find out he’d go crazy. He’d also at some point realized he’d taken her to Wales without a single thought about the delay on sorting Jackson, and now, when he studied the slight hunched figure on the bed, he knew what he had to do.
She took the cup of sugary tea from his hand, wrapping her own around it.
“Did something happen to you in Cadogan after I’d gone, something that made you leave?” Squatting down in front of her, forcing her to acknowledge him.
“It wasn’t Cadogan. It was being in the hospital.”
“Nan’s going to be okay. Was there something else?”
She lifted one shoulder, a feeble attempt at a shrug.
“Sky, I want to know because I need to understand you. We’ve grown close since we hitched up...” He stumbled on the words and paused, not sure of how to express the way he felt for her, and afraid to alienate her any more than he already had.
She looked at him directly for the first time since they walked into the room. “Promise you won’t hate me.”
“Promise.” He answered inside a heartbeat and he meant it unconditionally. “I could never hate you.” Inevitably, the nature of what she was about to reveal flip-flopped through his mind, presenting difficult scenarios. Had she been attacked? Abused? Would he be able to say the right thing? All he could do was try.
“My mum nearly died of a heroin overdose when I was five years old.”
The words stunned him. Sure, he knew both of their parents had experimented, it was part of their lifestyle, but he never knew it had gone that far with Shelly, or that Sky had been so badly affected.
Before he had time to speak, to utter a single word, she continued—as if she wanted it over with. “I was alone with her at the time. Rowan and Draco had already moved in with Nan, but she held onto me, her baby. So I was the one who found her. I had to run to a neighbor and beg for help. In a small town some people forgive but others don’t forget and they’re ready to pull it out to use as a weapon to hurt you.”
She sipped from her tea cup then put it down on the floor.
He took the opportunity to take her hands in his.
“By the time I was in high school, I was far too ready to fight back.”
“Oh Christ, Sky. I wish I’d known about this a long time ago.”
“I’m glad you didn’t know,” she declared in a way that seemed much more like the Sky he knew. “I was terrified you’d find out. When you took off for London, part of me thought that was why, you’d found out, Draco had told you.”
“No.” He drew her hand to his mouth and kissed her fingers. Now he understood why she’d freaked in the hospital. “It wouldn’t have mattered to me, her faults are not yours.”
“Doesn’t feel that way, not most days. I couldn’t escape it. When I was little, it was just part of my life but even then I knew we were treated differently because of what she did.” She shivered. “They treated me as if we were unclean and they were right. By the time I was four and a half years old she’d trained me to wrap her a hit. When I was good enough she’d show me off to her friends, get me to make them a hit too, like some sort of circus freak child.”
The sorrow in her eyes caused him pain.
It felt like an anvil had lodged in his breastbone.
She made a sound like she was attempting to swallow it down. “I’m dirty, just like they said.”
“You’re not. You’re a beautiful fun, adorable, crazy woman.”