“Lizzie!” I giggled. “This is silly.”
“Trust me!”
“And this really works?”
“Yes!”
I shrugged and tried to sink back into the memory of him, taking long deep breaths before I caught Lizzie’s eye. I fluttered and looked away, and did it again, and then I held her gaze, and I took a breath, and a grin crept over her face.
“Helen Palmer, you’re so fucking pretty.”
“I feel like an idiot.”
“And you look like a kinky little peach, ripe for the picking.” She giggled and drank more wine. “He’s going to eat you up, you’ll see.”
“Just because I look at him at a funny angle with my mouth open?”
“Because you look like a hot little minx who wants to ride his cock all night long.”
I groaned. “But this isn’t me. Why can’t I just be me?”
“You are being you! You’re just… accentuating things.”
“But I don’t want to accentuate things. I want him to want me.” There were tickles in my stomach again. “I had the padded bra on, Lizzie, and I felt like such a fraud as he pulled it away. It’s just… fake…”
“Not fake!” she protested. “It’s letting him see you! Letting him see how much you want him!”
“He already knows.” I felt sad, as though I expected Lizzie’s foolproof seduction technique would be some bottled voodoo magic or something.
She sighed, exasperated. “Fine. Well, what about when you’ve got him? You can at least practice the fuck, I want you expression.”
“The what?”
She offered me the wine and I drank down the dregs. “Get back on all fours.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes, Hels, seriously.” She tutted. “I do know what I’m talking about.”
“Fine.” I got back in position, and Lizzie came closer, and I suddenly felt more drunk.
“When he gives you his cock, Hels, you’ve got to be hungry for him, pretend like sucking his dick is the most satisfying thing you’ve ever done…”
My heart pounded at the thought, no pretending necessary.
“…now do that look again…”
I did the look again.
“…and open your mouth…”
I opened my mouth.
“…and be gentle, Helen, gentle and needy…”
Without warning Lizzie pushed her thumb into my mouth. I was so shocked I recoiled, but she grabbed hold of my hair with her free hand.
“You said you’d do what I asked, remember?” Her voice was softer, and it made me feel strange inside. “Suck my thumb, Helen… suck me and look at me like I’m him…”
It felt weird, and a little bit icky, and there was something strange about Lizzie, something that made my stomach churn, but I did it. I sucked her thumb, really gently, remembering how Mr Roberts’ mouth had felt around my nipple. I sucked and I flicked my tongue around her, and she pushed it in and out until my mouth was making soft little noises. I felt dirty. The whole thing felt dirty.
She pulled her thumb out and replaced it with two long fingers, and I didn’t stop her. Even though it felt wrong, I didn’t stop her. I’d promised, after all, promised to do what she said.
“You give good head, Hels, that’s really good…” she whispered. “He’s going to love you…”
Love me.
It would be the most beautiful thing.
“More,” she said, and slipped in a third finger. She pushed them deep, until I could feel them against the back of my throat. I fought back the urge to retch. “You’ve got such a pretty mouth, Helen. You’re going to drive him crazy…” She leaned in until her mouth was at my ear. “Suck me…”
Part of me wanted to say no, to tell her to stop being so silly and go back to normal, but my mouth was full, and the wine was in my system, and it didn’t seem so bad after all. I closed my eyes and sucked her fingers until my mouth made those soft noises, and I imagined it was him, and I was hot again. Hot and fluttery.
And then I felt her other hand. Squeezing at my tits. She pinched my nipple, and tugged at it, and it was still sensitive, sending sparks between my legs. I jumped away in shock and my heart was thumping.
“Lizzie? What are you doing? What was that for?”
She shrugged. “Chill out, Helen, I’m only trying to get you into it.”
“But I was… into it…”
“Trying to get you more into it, then.” She smiled. “Come on, don’t be shy, take your blouse off. He’ll probably be touching you when you’re sucking his dick, it’s good practice.”
The idea felt squirmy. “It’s ok, Lizzie, I’m good. You don’t have to do that…”
She slapped my arm. “Don’t be such a prude! Come on!” And her fingers were at my blouse, opening my buttons until she could pull it from my shoulders and I was there with just another crappy padded bra to hide my modesty.
She yanked the cups down and my face was burning. “Lizzie, what’s going on?” I giggled to make light of it.