No, this will have to do, and keeping up to date on Slava’s progress makes as good of an excuse for these calls as anything.
My chest tightens again at the thought of my son, but this time, the ache is accompanied by an unsettling sort of warmth. Slava laughed with me, looked at me with something other than wariness this morning… and it was because of her, because she was there, lending me her sweetness, her radiant magic.
I want more of it.
I want to take all of her sunshine, use it to light every dark, hollow corner of my soul.
Slowly, taking care not to spook her, I step closer and gently curve my palm over her silky-smooth cheek. She stares up at me, unmoving, hardly breathing, those soft, pouty doll lips parted, and my guts clench on a violent surge of need, a hunger as intense as it is dark. As much as I want to fuck her, I want to possess her even more.
I want to own her inside and out, to chain her to me and never let her go.
Something of my intent must show because her breath hitches, her throat moving in a nervous swallow. “Nikolai, I…”
“Keep the laptop on in the evenings,” I order softly, and dropping my hand, I step back before I can give in to the dangerous maelstrom inside me.
To the beast that no amount of refinement can hide.
28
Chloe
Heart pounding, I watch through the window in Slava’s room as Pavel loads a suitcase into the backseat of a sleek white SUV and gets behind the wheel. A minute later, Nikolai approaches the car. Dressed in a sharply tailored gray suit and pin-striped white shirt, with a laptop bag slung over one shoulder, he looks every inch the powerful businessman. Moving with his customary athletic grace, he climbs into the front passenger seat and shuts the door.
I let out a shaky breath, my pulse slowing as the car pulls away and disappears down the winding driveway. I have no idea how I feel about his departure or what happened in his office. Had he been about to kiss me? If I hadn’t said his name, would he have—
“Chloe?” a small, high-pitched voice pipes up, and I turn with a smile, putting all thoughts of my employer on hold.
“Yes, darling?”
Slava holds up a box of LEGO pieces. “Castle?”
I grin. “Sure, let’s do it.” I love that he remembered the word, and that he feels comfortable enough to call me by my name. He really is one of the brightest kids I’ve ever met, and I have no doubt I’ll have a lot to report to Nikolai when he calls me.
My heart rate speeds up again at the thought of talking to him on video, and I busy myself by taking the LEGO pieces out of the box. A part of me is glad that Nikolai is gone… that for the next few days, I won’t have to contend with his dangerous, magnetic presence. But another, weaker part of me is already mourning his absence. The overcast sky outside feels darker, grayer, the house emptier and colder.
It’s as if something vital has disappeared from my life, leaving behind a strangely hollow feeling.
* * *
I spend the rest of the morning with Slava, playing various educational games, and then we eat lunch in the dining room, just the two of us, with Lyudmila bringing out all the dishes.
“Headache,” she informs me when I ask about Alina. “You eat yourself, okay?”
I nod, biting back a laugh at the unfortunate phrasing. Maybe Pavel’s wife would be open to some English lessons while I’m here? I’ll have to ask her at some point. For now, I concentrate on giving Slava a generous serving of everything on the table and then doing the same for myself while Lyudmila disappears into the kitchen. I don’t see her again until dinner—which Alina also skips, leaving me to dine alone with my charge.
I don’t mind it. In fact, it’s a relief. Despite the fancy clothes Slava and I put on as per the “house rules,” the dinner feels infinitely more casual with just the two of us, the atmosphere lacking all the strain and tension that the Molotov siblings bring with them. I play with my food, making Slava giggle like crazy, and I continue teaching him words for various food items, along with basic mealtime phrases. Before long, he’s asking me in English to pass him a napkin, and by utilizing a lot of gestures and facial expressions, we succeed in discussing which foods he likes the most and which ones he dislikes.
It’s not until Lyudmila takes Slava away to put him to bed and I go up to my room that I realize I need Alina. She’s the one who’s supposed to set up an account for me on the secure videoconference platform. I doubt Nikolai will call me tonight—he’s most likely still in the air—but he could easily call me tomorrow morning. Or in the middle of the night, if that’s when he lands.