I took a deep breath and opened the door.
“Hello,” a very glamourous, blonde woman said. “You must be the nanny.”
Irritation crawled up my skin. Yes, I’m the woman who spends all day with your daughter. I’m the one she kisses goodnight and hugs when she’s fallen over. I’m the one who’s here every day. Who the hell are you? But I didn’t say any of that. I just smiled and gestured that she and the woman behind her should come in.
“Who’s the guy outside?” she asked me, nodding toward the security guard on the door.
I just shrugged. I wasn’t about to get dragged into anything. “Bethany, this is Penelope,” I said pointing at her mother. “And this lady is . . .”
“Jade,” the psychologist said.
Bethany waved and said hi without even looking up. Penelope tried to catch her eye but Bethany was too caught up in Bear Bear’s injuries.
“They’ve come to visit,” I explained. Gabriel had been clear that no one was to refer to Penelope as Bethany’s mother. He thought it would be far too confusing for Bethany.
“Please have a seat,” I said. This might not be my house to invite people to sit down in, but it sure as hell wasn’t Penelope’s either. “Can I get either of you something to drink?”
Penelope shook her head, her eyes fixed on Bethany. It struck me like a blow to the head: Penelope was Bethany’s doppelganger. They looked exactly alike. The long blonde hair. The bright blue eyes.
They were both beautiful.
Penelope sat on the floor next to Bear Bear and tapped his nose. “Hi, Bear Bear.”
She knew him. Of course she did. There was history here that couldn’t be erased.
“He’s hurt his leg,” Bethany explained. “I’m making him better with ban-ges.”
“That’s kind,” Penelope said carefully. “How did he hurt it?”
“He fell,” Bethany said.
I sat the other side of Bethany, making sure I was in touching distance.
“Autumn,” Bethany said, tugging at the elastic fastener that fixed the end of the bandage. “Please, may you help?”
“I can help you,” Penelope said with a glance to me, checking it was okay.
It was no big deal, right? She was just helping Bethany fix a bandage on her bear. Something I would have done if she hadn’t been here.
Penelope took the small section of elastic with the metal ends and placed it on Bear Bear’s leg, holding the bandage in place.
“Thank you,” Bethany said and looked up at Penelope. “Are you Autumn’s friend?”
Penelope glanced at me again as if I had the answer to that question. “I’d like to be your friend,” she said.
I had to give it to her, it was the perfect answer. For now. First, she wanted to be Bethany’s friend and then she’d want to be her mother. I wanted to ask her questions. Did she regret leaving? Did she know how much she’d missed? Even in the short time I’d been Bethany’s nanny, there’d been so many changes. The questions she asked, the different toys she played with, her bravery on the monkey bars at the park. Everything was different. But Penelope left Bethany before she could walk. Before she could talk or blow a kiss. She’d never get any of that back.
It wasn’t anger for Bethany that I felt. She had a father who loved her, and Gabriel’s inner circle had adored Bethany since the day she was born. Instead, pure sadness rushed through my heart like a swollen river after rainfall. I was sad Penelope had missed so much of Bethany’s life. She had to live with that decision forever—had to come to terms with the fact that she’d never know her daughter in the way a parent should.
“He’s going to sleep now. That way he’ll get better,” Bethany announced as she stood and pulled a cushion from the couch. “Please get a blanket from over there,” she asked Penelope. Bethany wasn’t a shy child, but she was very accepting of Penelope and I wondered if there was a bond between them from before. Maybe Bethany saw herself when she looked at Penelope. Maybe it was a pheromone Penelope gave off, or just something Bethany found familiar about her. Whatever it was, Bethany was comfortable with Penelope.
And that was good, wasn’t it?
I wasn’t sure Gabriel would think so.
Penelope and Bethany played for the rest of the hour as if they were old friends. I didn’t interfere. Jade didn’t say anything, other than to ask me a couple of questions about how long I’d worked for Gabriel.
“I think our time is up,” Jade said as she stood.
A sheet of disappointment crossed Penelope’s face, but she kissed Bear Bear on his hurt leg and stood. “Get better, Bear Bear.”
“He’ll be okay,” Bethany said, reassuring Penelope. God, that kid made my heart melt.
“Thank you for playing with me, Bethany,” Penelope said.
“We’ve got lunch to make,” I said, hoping Bethany wouldn’t think it was weird that these two women had turned up, played with her, and then left.