“I poured you a glass of wine,” Autumn said as I entered the kitchen.
“That rounds off a great day. Thanks.” I took the glass from the counter beside the hob and took a sip. “Bethany passed out before I finished Zog and the Flying Doctors.”
“Best book ever,” Autumn said with a wide grin. “Chicken pasanda tonight, if that’s okay.”
“More than okay. Can I help?”
She shrugged. “Nothing to do for dinner, but you could look at those résumés I left out for you. I’ve arranged interviews for all four this week because there’s only a month before I leave. They look amazing.”
I groaned. I didn’t want to think about another nanny because that meant Autumn was leaving, which didn’t bear thinking about. There wasn’t going to be anyone like Autumn. Apart from the fact that I was sleeping with her, she was wonderful with Bethany and I trusted her completely. Anyone else was going to be a step down.
“Look at that top one.” She nodded to the stack of papers on the island. “She’s a Norland nanny like the royal family always have, and she’s got years of experience. Plus she has a lifeguard qualification.”
Just like Autumn to think of everything. “She’s not you,” I huffed.
“We’ll find someone better than me. Your mail is in that pile of papers as well. It’s building up.”
I pulled the stack of envelopes from underneath the CVs and started to flick through them to see if there was anything other than water bills and bank statements. “There’s one for you here.” I pulled out an envelope and handed it to Autumn.
She set down her wine and grabbed it from the side and set about opening it. “I never get mail.”
After looking at them, I set the envelopes down. There was nothing in my post that I wanted to open. I’d rather chat and pretend to help with cooking dinner.
I glanced up to find Autumn’s face frozen in a grin that even I could tell was forced. “You okay?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said, resolutely. “Absolutely fine.”
She didn’t look fine.
I glanced down at the letter. “Does it say anything interesting?”
She folded the letter and stuffed it back in the envelope, tossing it onto the counter before heading back to the hob and stirring the chicken vigorously. “They’re cancelling my trainee-executive position. Fifty percent of our year has been cut. I’m out.”
“They did what?” I asked, wondering why she was so calm when the role she’d moved across an ocean for had just gone up in smoke.
“It’s fine. Better this way probably. I wouldn’t have had enough money to see much of Europe in August anyway. I can get a bar job or even stay on with you and Bethany if you like.” She picked up her wine and took a gulp. I slid my arm around her waist, and she froze. “I’m fine. It’s better this way. And it’s not like I really want to be in an international program anyway. I want a job in London because this is where Hollie is. This is for the best.”
I turned off the hob and took the wooden spoon from her hand. “It’s awful news, Autumn. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be,” she said through gritted teeth. “Like I said, it’s fine. If you don’t want me to stay on, that’s fine too I can find something else. I can—” She pulled in a breath. “I can even go back to Oregon for a while. I’ll get to spend some time with my mom and dad.”
How was she just shrugging this off? I knew the last thing she wanted to do was go back to Oregon.
“You’re right. I don’t want you staying on as Bethany’s nanny,” I said, holding her by the shoulders. “I want you to be doing what you’ve had your heart set on for months.”
“Well, that option is no longer on the table. You have to deal with what you’ve got, not what you’d like. Let’s look on the bright side—”
“No, Autumn. Let’s not look at the bright side. Let’s get drunk and send those arseholes who just fired you a letter telling them you’re going to sue them. They can’t just string people along like that.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said, picking up the wooden spoon and stirring the cooling curry. “That’s not going to help. I just need a few days to make a plan. Things will work out for the best. They always do.”
“Autumn!” I snapped. “What the hell is the matter with you?”
She turned, shock flashing behind her eyes. “What?”
“You’re being ridiculous. You can’t tell me you’re not upset about this.”
She shrugged. “There’s no point in putting my energy into being upset.” She stopped and winced. “Don’t say anything to Dexter. He’ll tell Hollie and she’ll start freaking out and it will be a mess.”
“Freaking out would be the right response,” I said. She was behaving like a robot. I loved the fact that she was sunny and positive all the time, but she was taking it to an extreme. “You don’t need to look on the bright side tonight. Maybe not ever. Maybe this is just a shit thing that’s going to happen and you can be pissed off and angry and sad and—”