Hating Matt would be easier. All I could focus on was why and what if things had been different. What if we hadn’t moved to London? What if I’d pushed him to get married years ago?
“We don’t care enough to hate him. He’s history, and I’m so much happier with you because you’re richer and your dick is gigantic.”
“Well, that’s true on both counts,” he said, guiding me toward the entrance, his hand at the small of my back.
Despite the fact that I was walking into one of the most difficult situations in my life, I couldn’t help but smile at Beck’s arm around my waist. But he was still a complete stranger to me. I didn’t see how it was possible for us to get through an evening of pretending to be deeply in love when I knew close to nothing about him. We were bound to be caught out, and if my former best friend marrying my ex-boyfriend wasn’t humiliating enough, I’d be exposed as desperate enough to have blackmailed someone into pretending they were in love with me. If ever I needed a miracle, it was now.
Nine
Stella
“Have I got lipstick on my teeth?” I asked, bearing my mouth at him as we made it into the lobby of the Berkeley. Karen was always so perfectly turned out—even first thing in the morning, with a hangover, she was a coat of mascara and a pair of heels away from hosting a charity lunch. Whereas I always had loo paper stuck to my heel or had a button ping off just before the most crucial career moment. Tonight, I wanted to look like I had it together. I wanted people to see me and think Matt was an idiot for letting me go rather than think that the situation was messy but understandable given it was an obvious choice between Karen and me.
This evening I didn’t want to feel like the jilted ex.
I wanted to feel pretty. And glamorous. And sexy.
I wanted to feel like a woman that men didn’t cheat on. That men married.
Beck slid his hand into mine and my stomach tilted like a giddy ten-year-old in her mother’s heels, and for a moment I forgot that I was about to come face-to-face with Matt and Karen. It had been a while since a man had touched me like a lover. Looking back, I couldn’t remember the last time Matt had held my hand. And Beck was ridiculously handsome. The kind of good looking that made me look away because it was just too much.
“You look fucking gorgeous,” he whispered. “Now let’s go see your friends.”
I gazed at him as he led us down the long corridor. Had he meant that, or was he just trying to halt my rising anxiety about this evening in its tracks? Because he wrote the book on gorgeous.
He was walking with intent, but I hadn’t seen any signs to the ballroom. “Do you know where you’re going?”
“The email you sent me said the ballroom. It’s right along here.”
“You’ve been here before?” Were these kinds of p
arties in five-star hotels what he was used to? Did he enjoy them? What kind of wine did he drink?
So many questions.
“Yeah, a few times. You know, charity dinners. Industry drinks.”
“I really don’t know anything about you.” Tonight had disaster written all over it. We’d just have to show our faces and then make a speedy exit.
Beck squeezed my hand as my friend Jo came toward us, her eyes sliding from me to Beck and then back to me, slightly wider than they were before.
“I’m so pleased you came,” she said and pulled me in for a hug. “You’re an amazing human being.”
“You wouldn’t say that if you knew what I was thinking.”
“You’re here, that’s what counts. And you look completely amazing.” She stepped back to examine me. “What a super sexy look.”
“It’s not really me, is it?”
“It’s completely you. It’s understated, elegant, and confidently sexy just like you are.”
My anxiety stepped down a couple of notches and my shoulders relaxed. Jo turned to Beck. “I’m Jo Frammer.”
God, between my panic about not knowing enough about Beck, my apprehension about my outfit, and my anxiety about seeing Karen and Matt, I’d completely forgotten to make introductions. I needed to focus.
“Beck Wilde,” he said, dipping to kiss Jo on both cheeks.
“It’s wonderful to meet you. I want to hear all about you two,” she said, turning and leading us into the party. “Someone’s been keeping secrets. Tell me everything immediately. How long has this been going on?”