In the first bed, closest to the door, a girl is twisting in the sheets. Her dark hair feels almost one with the black fabric. Her lips are red; her skin is all flushed and dewy, breasts tipped skyward. Her hand is between her legs as she’s pleasuring herself. I expect to see a man somewhere, but in comes another woman. This one is a blonde, but thinner than the one on the bed. She has a tiny belly ring on her barely-there belly.
It makes me think of my own stomach, with all its softness and cushion. Abel loves playing with it, squeezing it, but is it really all that great? I mean, I’m nowhere near as toned and starved as these girls.
I don’t know why but it makes me feel… disappointed that I’m not as perfect or camera-ready. It makes me feel that my first attempt at make-up was a big, fat failure.
Well, what does it matter? I’m not the one doing all these things, right?
Right?
Swallowing, I look away and Abel ushers me forward. He’s letting me take my time. Not making me hurry as I absorb this otherworldly place. I don’t know why it feels that way when sex is the most basic thing in the world.
In fact, it probably must have been the very first thing in the world.
One day Adam must have come home, eating all the apples, and he must’ve said to Eve, Hey, what are we gonna do when we die? Who gets all this? Our hut and all the leafy-clothes we’ve made.
Then Eve must have said, What if we can find more two-legged people like us?
Then they must have spent hours thinking and pondering, until it occurred to Adam. Let’s grow them. We grow everything else by ourselves. Why can’t we grow people?
Only they didn’t know how to do that. But they must have been feeling things — horny things — so they went with their instincts and nine months later, voilà. They had a two-legged creature.
I clap my hand on my mouth to stop my hysterical laugh. I’ve lost it. I’ve completely lost it.
“You okay?” Abel asks me, looking down at me with such concern and love.
I can’t help myself, then. I go on my tip-toes so I can kiss him. The touch of our lips lessens the seediness of this place.
On the second bed, a woman with honey blonde hair is lying on top of a man, her back to his chest. Oh my God, she’s totally open. Like, her legs are on either side of his thighs and I can see her pussy. It’s all stretched out and so pink, with his erection inside her, and she’s grinding on him. I admit that I love the way her hips are moving, side to side, up and down, the muscles of her thighs standing taut. Her moans are loud, and yes, fake, I think. But I can’t stop watching.
A second later, another man enters the scene. He’s tall and beautiful in that made-up way that you see on TV. He walks up to the bed, all naked, his dick — big dick — in his fist, pumping up and down.
Jesus Christ, that cannot be real. His cock has to be at least fifteen inches. It’s so wide and thick and painful. I don’t even think it can stay upright. Because gravity.
Then I can’t see anything but the chest of my husband. “Stop fucking staring.”
“But did you look at his thing? I’ve never seen something like that before.” I wave my hand. “I mean, I’ve only seen yours but still. Yours is not that big.”
A muscle ticks in his jaw. Before I know it, I’m flush with his body, my breasts smashed against his chest, his arms around my waist. “You wanna say that to me again?”
“Abel…” I study his face, trailing off. “Are you jealous?”
“I’m not jealous of fake things,” he grumbles.
I curl the ends of his hair on his neck, laughing. “Good. Because I don’t think that’s real. Also, I can’t even imagine how painful it would be.”
“All you need to imagine is my dick inside your pussy.”
Biting my lip, I look at him through my eyelashes. “What about you? I’m not like these girls here. My body isn’t all toned and muscular, you know.”
“Are we doing this again, Pixie?” He lowers his face until his nose is grazing mine. “You wanna know what I think about when I look at them?”
I nod.
“You. I think about you. I know this place is fucking seedy. I know it’s fake and ugly and you don’t talk about it in polite company. Hell, people don’t admit to watching porn, let alone making it. There’s lust and sin at every corner.”
He kisses my forehead. “But even then, you manage to break through. I hear a fake moan and I think about your real ones. I see a girl biting her lip to look coy, I think about my girl and how she bites her lip because it’s so good for her. Don’t you get it? You make everything good and pure. You make everything an adventure. When I’m with you, I’m not afraid of anything. I’m not afraid to be a sinner. I’m not afraid to go to hell. Because my heaven is with me.”