“Not quite. Though that will be heavily involved as well.”
“Now you’ve got me curious.”
“Hmm. We’ve done spanking and light bondage and role-play so far, a little voyeurism, a little exhibitionism. I’ve been thinking all week about what else we can check off that list.”
Her pupils were already going dark with desire, but she managed to stay focused on him. “Oh?”
He straightened and unwound her legs from around his hips, his own nerves trying to make an appearance now at what he had planned. She kept her gaze on him, but once she’d scooted to the edge of the island, he lifted her up and set her on her feet. “Come with me.”
He grabbed her hand and guided her toward the hallway.
She cleared her throat as she followed. “If there’s some massive sex swing or something in there, West, I’m out.”
He chuckled under his breath. “Come on, give me some credit. I save that for at least the fourth date. Plus, you’d have to do stretches before that. I wouldn’t send you in cold.”
She smirked. “Okay, so defiling via wine bottle is date one. Tied-up sex in the closet is date two. Third date is wall sex. And fourth will require yoga warm-ups. Got it. You should write a dating guide.”
“Totally. I’ll do that.” When they reached his locked bedroom door, he lifted his arm to feel around for the key on the top of the doorframe and then unlocked the door without opening it.
She frowned as the lock turned over. “I meant to ask you last time. Why the dead bolt on your door?”
“I’m that kinky.”
She tilted her head and gave him a not-buying-his-bullshit look.
“You’re giving me the therapist look?”
Her eyebrow lifted.
He sighed. “Fine. Remember how I slept in my office at school?”
She nodded.
“I used to have nightmares that my parents’ killer came back for me. It kept me from sleeping at home and when I did, it was pretty ugly. So Dr. Paxton suggested I get a dead bolt for my bedroom to make me feel safer. It’s become kind of a touchstone wherever I live.” He ran a hand over the back of his head. “Stupid, I know.”
Her fingers tightened around his. “Not stupid at all. I didn’t drink a drop of alcohol until last year because I was convinced if I did, I’d instantly transform into my mom and not be able to stop. We do what we need to do to keep moving forward.”
He released a breath. The complete acceptance and lack of judgment did more for him than he would’ve expected. He hated looking weak or scared, but she didn’t see it like that. She saw it as just another thing, a part of him. He leaned down and kissed her because he had to. There was nothing else he could do in that moment but that.
When he finally pulled back, he grabbed the handle of the door. What lay behind it made his hand trembl
e. But now more than ever, he wanted to give this to her, wanted to show her that despite their thirty-day agreement, she was not just another notch in his bedpost. Not a hookup. Not back then and not now. She’d always been something more. He swung it open. Here goes nothing. Inside, his bedroom was just as he’d left it. Filled with flickering candles, the bed covered with rose petals, and the scent of vanilla in the air.
Marin blinked as if she couldn’t quite make sense of what she saw. Then, she slowly turned to him, big question marks in her eyes. Questions and something else altogether—wonder. “What’s all this?”
Her voice was soft, like she was almost afraid to ask.
He cupped her chin and traced her bottom lip with his thumb. “There’s one thing I wish I could’ve given you back then. One thing that’s always bothered me. I like you dirty. And I like you kinky. But everybody deserves a little romance for their first time. I didn’t give you that. I thought we could have a do-over.”
She simply stared at him, leaving him feeling far too vulnerable as he braced for her reaction. He could feel his defenses rising, a smart-aleck comment poised on his lips to downplay things.
But then the smile that broke over her face stole the words right from him. She pushed up on her toes, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him. Everything that was knotted inside him unwound at that, and he dragged her against him. When she leaned back from the kiss, her eyes gleamed in the reflection of the candles. “You’ve had this planned the whole time?”
“I’m a planner, Rush. I can’t help that someone has no patience and assaulted me as soon as she walked in the door.”
She grinned wider. “Oh, is that how you see it?”
“I was a mere passenger on the train.”