Rebecca eyed the ball of fur skeptically. “Well, if you’re happy, I’m happy.”
“Well, ‘happy’ isn’t the word, but relieved,” Anthony said. “Going to court would be too hard.” He looked down at the dog as if eye contact with Rebecca was too much. “Every time I look at Daph, even with all the anger, I can’t help but see the girl I fell in love with.”
Rebecca tilted her head. “Even when she’s calling you an asshole?”
“Yeah. I know that version of her I loved is not in there anymore, but I can still remember that feeling of when we first got together, that high. Love ends, but it leaves… I don’t know, imprints on you. Like the person I used to be still loves the person she used to be. I don’t want to have to see her in court and drag this out. I can’t watch that video again. It’d feel like having my guts ripped out fresh all over again. Like I’ve failed at something I thought couldn’t fail.”
Rebecca frowned. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too.” He le
aned back in the chair with a tired look, stroking Prince’s neck. “You ever have a moment you wish you could just go back and change? I wonder what my life would look like right now if I hadn’t offered Daphne my umbrella the day we met, if I had just kept walking.”
A moment she could change? Rebecca tucked her hair behind her ears, her ribs cinching tight and her composure trying to falter. “No amount of wondering can change the past.”
Prince jumped from Anthony’s lap and settled at his feet, obviously exhausted by divorce mediation and philosophical conversation. Anthony absently brushed the dog hair from his slacks. “I know, and they say we shouldn’t want to change anything. The butterfly effect and fading photos in Back to the Future and all that. But would you change one moment if you could?”
Even though she tried to stop it, memories flashed through Rebecca’s mind like a gory movie. Thoughtless words. A boy seething with something sharp and dangerous. Because of her. Blood. Screams. The sound of gunshots. She swallowed past the dryness in her throat and ignored the phantom pain in her leg. “In a heartbeat.”
Anthony nodded solemnly like he was a comrade-in-arms. “Me too. I’d walk right by Daphne and let the rain soak her to the bone.”
Rebecca smoothed the wrinkles in her pants, trying to re-center herself, to push away the ugliness. “If you’d passed her by, maybe you wouldn’t have Prince.”
Anthony’s staid face broke into a slow smile. “You’re right. And he’s the best.”
“He better be,” she said with a tight laugh.
He rubbed the dog’s head. “To be honest, this is all I need. I’d rather be broke than go home to an empty house. The past week that Prince has stayed with Daphne has been rough. There’s nothing more depressing than knowing no one is waiting for you at home. That no one cares if you show up or not.”
The words pinged through Rebecca, hitting places she’d rather not examine. She forced a smile. “Right.” She stepped over to pet the dog, who immediately buried his nose between her legs. She took a big step back. “Well, I think this guy will definitely be happy to see you at the end of the day.”
“Yes. I don’t like to brag, but I am his favorite crotch.”
Rebecca chuckled. “High honor.”
“Indeed.” Anthony tapped Prince to get him to his feet and stood to shake Rebecca’s hand. “Thanks for everything. I won’t say it’s been fun, but at least it was quick.”
Sounds like most of the dates I’ve had in my life.
“You’re welcome. Sorry we had to meet under these circumstances,” she said and then walked Anthony out. Those were her standard parting words, but she meant them. People hoped to never need someone like her, and she found it a little depressing to know that this seemingly decent guy who’d loved his wife had ended up here, too.
But it was a story she saw every day. Anthony had bought into the infatuation model that was sold to everyone as “true love.” Trust that rush of endorphins and attraction at the beginning, and all will be okay. It won’t matter that the person is a completely impractical and incompatible choice. Believe the feelings. There’s magic at work.
But feelings lied, and magic wasn’t real.
Rebecca had spent her high school years as a hopeless romantic, in love with her best friend, thinking they were fated to be together, believing she was one of those special girls who’d get her happy ending. She’d even written a time capsule letter with her friends senior year, painting her perfect movie-like romance that she was going to have with her crush. She was going to be Sally to his Harry, Joey to his Pacey, Rachel to his Ross. Turns out she was Duckie. Or Dawson. Or worse, the geek with an underwear fetish from Sixteen Candles. Finn, the guy she’d hung all her hope on, had been in love with someone else the whole time. Still was.
She’d closed that chapter and wished him well, but she hadn’t forgotten the lesson. She also got a refresher every day at work. Love wasn’t just a risk. It was a bad bet. If she had to argue the case for it in court, the evidence would be stacked so high against it that she wouldn’t have a shot at winning. A lasting, loving marriage was a unicorn. And the person who loved the deepest in a relationship—the romantic, the idealist—was the one whose guts got ripped out in the end. No, thanks.
Rebecca paused in the hallway after Anthony left and looked at the clock, which was ticking closer to six. She considered calling it a day, but Anthony’s words about going home to an empty house were pulsing at the back of her brain like a bad headache. Maybe she should go out tonight. Have a drink at a bar. Maybe call one of her friends to go with her. Shake off that antsy feeling his words had stirred up.
She headed back to her office to give her email one last check and to make sure she had everything buttoned up before she called anyone. The most recent email was flagged and in bold to mark it as urgent. All emails from her dad were urgent. She clicked to open it.
Rebecca,
The firm’s charity fund hasn’t been assigned for this fiscal year. I’m putting you in charge of it. Choose a charity by the end of next week that will match up well with my campaign platform. Something everyone can get behind. Nothing animal-related. Nothing controversial. Needs to be people and community focused. We did the Long Acre Fund last year, so we can’t do that again. Bethany can get you on the account once you’ve selected something.
Best,