He stood. “Liv—”
“No, I’m serious. Whoever these people are, they had a hand in destroying all those lives. My life. Yours. But where does it end? What about the people who made the guns? Or whoever screwed up Joseph and Trevor along the way? Or the security guards who didn’t pay enough attention on prom night?” Her voice was rising now, echoing off the lake. “Nothing’s going to bring the people we lost back, Finn. You can’t save them. Or anyone else. It’s done. All you’re going to do is go and get yourself killed and add another victim to the list.”
His expression darkened.
“But maybe that’s what you want,” she said, unable to stop the deluge now. “To go down as a hero. Be the martyr. Pay some penance you think you owe. Leave the rest of us to deal with the loss of you.”
His stance went mutinous, defenses up. “You think I want to die, Liv? Or leave you? You think all these weeks with you have been a game?”
She looked away.
“I love you. I want to spend my life with you. If I didn’t think it was the most selfish thing I could do, I’d ask you to marry me, to wait for me, to give me something to come home to. I’d promise you this was the last job. But you deserve better than that.”
The admissions gashed at her heart, drawing blood. It was everything she wanted and nothing she could have. “I do. I deserve someone who would stay for me. Who would choose me.”
He gave her a bereft look. “I told you from the start what I had to do.”
She shook her head, feeling hollow inside. “You don’t have to. This is a choice. Don’t pretend it’s not.”
“I have a duty, Liv,” he said, frustration filling his voice and his hands going out to his sides. “Everyone likes to walk around every day pretending the ugly stuff doesn’t exist. But it does, and there are men and women fighting that fight every day. In the military. In law enforcement. First responders. Someone has to do it. I signed up for that. Maybe if someone else had done their job, those guns would’ve never been there on prom night. Maybe the guy in charge of that mission was at home barbecuing steaks with his girlfriend instead.”
The words were like a stinging slap. An argument she couldn’t refute without looking heartless and selfish. “I guess that makes your decision easy then.”
He stared at her, his expression wounded. “If you think that, then you don’t know me at all.”
An utter, echoing sadness filled her, and she hugged her elbows. “Maybe I don’t.”
“Right.” His expression closed off, and he pulled something out of his pocket. “I guess I should’ve left from the start after all. Saved us both the trouble.”
The words hit her like icy rain.
He placed a key on the arm of the chair. “I bought this place two weeks ago. It’s yours. Don’t go back to your job.”
She stared at the key. “What?”
“That way, when I see your photos in a gallery someday, I’ll at least know I did one good thing this summer.” He tucked his hands in his pockets, and his jaw flexed. His gaze shifted away from hers. “Goodbye, Liv.”
Before she could react or respond, he walked past her toward the house, shoulders hunched but gait determined.
She sank to the ground frozen. Numb. Her voice wouldn’t work.
He went inside, and she had no idea how long she sat there watching the door. Eventually, he came out with his suitcase and laptop bag. He didn’t look back. Instead, he turned, went toward the driveway, and got into his SUV. He was gone before she could say a word.
Out of her life just as quickly as he’d come back into it.
Gone.
She pulled her knees to her chest and took the key in her hand, rubbing her thumb across it and letting tears fall.
I didn’t want a house.
I wanted to be home.
chapter
TWENTY-SIX
The banging sound pounded through Liv’s head like the reverberation of a gong. She groaned and buried her face deeper in the pillow. How could she have this horrid headache when she hadn’t even been drinking? Did crying do this?