“This is stunning,” Theo said, glancing back at her briefly before turning back to the painting to continue examining it. “It hits you right in the gut. I can feel their bond.”
Maggie smiled. “Thanks. They’d just gotten married a few weeks before and were in that honeymoon phase, so they were great subjects. Gave me a lot to work with. I did a whole series with them both together and separately.”
“I imagine people pay enormous amounts of money for these.”
“I’m not cheap.”
He laughed. Actually laughed. And then he turned around, eyes serious. “Good. I’m glad you know your value.”
She wet her lips under that intense gaze, the words burrowing right into her. She glanced away, pretending to focus on the paintings. “Took a while. I think creatives are inherently neurotic about their work. But eventually I leaned how to take mistress mentality and apply it to this as well.”
“Speaking of which”—a little wrinkle appeared between his brows—“I can’t imagine why you’d need to work at The Ranch if this is doing so well for you.”
She sat on one of the stools in the room and he followed suit, taking a chair nearby instead of the other stool, putting her in a position to look down on him. Her libido gave a little jump of recognition at the subtle shift in the power dynamic. She also noticed that he didn’t seem to be as in a hurry to leave as he had been a few minutes ago.
She cleared her throat. Down, girl. None of this meant anything. He was a friend who wanted to see her art. That’s it. “I don’t need to work there. But when I first joined The Ranch, I didn’t want any messy relationship stuff. I liked the idea of scening with paying clients. Boundaries were crystal clear. It made it easier. When it started to feel like work, I stopped.” She gave a little shrug. “It was never about the money itself. I’m sure you understand that.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you’re a gorgeous, intelligent man and a fantastic submissive. You had to know that you could get whatever you wanted at The Ranch without dropping a dime. But you paid for sessions for your own reasons.”
His eyes met hers. “No, I couldn’t have gotten whatever I wanted. T
here was only one woman I wanted to see and she charged.”
Maggie sucked in a breath, the admission hitting her right in the chest. “Theo …”
He ran a hand over the back of his head and looked away. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m not trying to hit on you.”
“You’re not?” She let out a nervous laugh. “Well, why the hell not?”
His attention snapped her way. “What?”
She crossed her legs and eyed him from her perch, knowing she was treading into thorny territory but trying to trust her gut. “Why aren’t you hitting on me?”
“I—”
“Are you attracted to me, Theo?” she asked, keeping her voice gentle.
He looked stricken for a second. “What? Of course. What man wouldn’t be?”
She smirked. “Lots of them. I’ve heard I can be kind of a bitch in bed.”
“Maggie …” he said, almost a protest.
She slid off the stool, her sock-covered feet landing without a sound. “I’m just asking for your honesty, Theodore. Do you want me?”
Her beautiful, sexy doctor closed his eyes and bowed his head, his shoulders hunching. “I can’t …”
“That’s not what I asked,” she said, keeping her voice steady and calm even though her heart was splintering for him. She could see the turmoil, the loyalty to his wife, the guilt. He had to be breaking beneath the weight of carrying all of that all the time.
He shook his head, his eyes still closed, as if he couldn’t bear another word.
She eased closer to him and laid her hand to the back of his neck, letting him feel her presence but also hoping to soothe. It was the place she always put her hand after he’d had a rough session in her dungeon. He tensed at the first touch but then the muscles loosened beneath her fingertips. “You can’t say it, can you? Even if you want me, you won’t allow yourself even a little piece of joy, even for one night, will you?”
“I don’t know how,” he said, his voice rasping out, grinding with the anguish that held him so tightly bound. “I don’t know how to let it go. Even when I want to. Even when you’ve brought me to the brink in session, I seize up at the thought of taking enjoyment out of it. I feel sick inside with the guilt.”
She believed him. Every damn word. This strong, proud man couldn’t break free from those demons that chased us all—guilt, regret, grief. His loyalty to the woman he loved was admirable but it was also killing him. Maggie rubbed her lips together, an idea slipping into her mind like a serpent and whispering dangerous things to her.