She frowned. “What?”
“Same answer. You have me here for good. I helped the band hire a touring drummer. I’ve been getting him up to speed over the last few weeks and tonight he did a few songs in my place. He’s going to take over fully for the rest of the shows. I don’t have to go back.”
Her stomach dropped. “Oh, Pike. God, you didn’t—We talked about that. I didn’t want you to change things for me. This isn’t—”
“Shh.” He put his fingers over her lips, tenderness in his eyes. “I’m not doing it for you, mama. I’m doing it for me. From the start of this tour, my heart hasn’t been in the process. I loved doing it over the summer while you and Rae were there with me, but I’m not built for being on the road like this anymore. I don’t want that life. I want this life. You. Reagan. Waking up in the morning and seeing each other every day. Farm breakfast on Sundays and movie nights on Friday. Going to bed every night and feeling you next to me.”
“Pike …” The picture he was painting sounded so damn wonderful, but this had been her fear from the start when he’d proposed. She didn’t want him giving up his dream to accommodate her. “Drumming is your life.”
His hands slid down to her shoulders, his gaze holding hers. “I’m not giving up drumming or even my spot in the band. I’ll still make music with them for the albums. But drumming is not my life. Not anymore. I want to be in my studio. I want to discover emerging artists and mold them into something better. And I want to be at home with my wife and family. That is, if you won’t get too sick of me being here every day.”
She shook her head, tears coming to her eyes. “I’ve missed you so damn much. I can’t imagine getting to wake up with you every day.”
He pulled her to him and hugged her to his chest. “I always thought nothing would beat the thrill of being on stage in front of thousands of people. But now I know without a doubt that something does. This does.”
She leaned back and pushed up on her toes to kiss him slow and soft, savoring the feel of him here in the flesh. When she broke away, she gave him a saucy grin. “Guess I can get rid of that dildo now. I’s got me a real man.”
His lips curved, a dangerous spark coming into his eyes. “Well, I don’t know if I’d go throwing stuff out. I can think of a few creative uses.”
She lifted a brow. “Oh?”
He gripped her waist and drew her against him, his hardening erection brushing against her panties. “A month away is a long time. And seeing you look so luscious in one of my shirts is making me want to do very bad things to you.”
She shivered in his grip, heat rushing downward where he pressed against her. “Guess it’s a good thing it’s Rae’s night at Devon’s then, huh?”
“Mmm,” he said, tilting her head to the side and kissing her neck. “No one to hear you scream? Excellent.”
He slipped his hand beneath her shirt and gripped her breast, his thumb grazing over one of the nipple rings she’d gotten while they were on tour. She groaned, the tight feel of the little tweak he gave the ring making her sex clench. She loved that secret they had between them. Looking at her, no one would suspect that nice mom down the street would have done such a thing. But with Pike she’d discovered just how effective a bit of pain was for her. Sometimes she felt like she could come just from him tugging and sucking on the rings. She could enjoy herself in bed with Pike no matter what the situation was—vanilla, kinky, or in between. But she’d found that her desire amped up to another level when Pike dominated her and exploited that newly discovered masochistic streak of hers.
One night on tour, Pike had taken her to a kink club while Reagan was hanging out with one of the crew members and her daughter. He’d given Oakley the reins that night, keeping his promise of taking the submissive role if she was interested in switching things up sometimes. Pike had looked like the most sinful gift ever. Arms chained above his head, chest exposed, his tattoos beautiful and harsh under the spotlight, and only the briefest of black briefs on. But the sexiest thing had been the look in his eyes—dark and full of challenge. Try to tame me those eyes had said. A cocky slave for her indulgence.
She’d tortured and teased him with her mouth, licking at his ink and biting his nipples, tracing her fingernails over his erection through the thin briefs. He hadn’t been obedient at all. A terrible submissive in that respect. But she’d found his defiance hot as hell. When he’d told her to stop teasing, she’d backed away from him, sat on a chair and spread her knees. She’d been wearing nothing beneath her skirt and when she’d touched herself, Pike had lost his cool, yanking at the chains and telling her how much better he was than her fingers.
She’d wanted to let him take over, but instead she’d gotten herself off in front of him, enjoying the way his eyes had gone hooded and hungry. Then she’d strolled over to him and had gotten to her knees. She’d slid his briefs off, exposing him fully, and had warned him that he wasn’t allowed to come. Then she’d put her mouth on him and tasted exactly how much he wanted her. She’d licked and laved and then when she’d worked up the nerve, she’d grabbed the lube and dragged her fingers back to his opening.
Pike had jerked in his bindings, but had groaned deep and low when she’d breached him. The sensation had been new and exciting for her. Never before had she penetrated a man in any way, and there’d been the surge of power with it—Pike clenching around her fingers, his cock leaking salty fluid onto her tongue, and dirty threats spilling out of his mouth. She’d fucked him with her fingers and sucked him until her thighs were slick with her own arousal.
But even though she’d found it to be one of the most erotic experiences of her life—Pike putting that kind of ultimate trust in her—she’d found herself wanting him to wrestle the control back from her. So she’d loosened his cuffs and then had teased him and goaded him until he’d broken free. When his hands had broken free, he’d charged across the room, eyes wild and body aroused. He’d grabbed her with rough hands and kissed her hard. Then he’d spun her around and pushed her down to the floor on her stomach. For a second, she’d caught sight of the faces peering at them through the window to the private room. They hadn’t pulled the shade and knowing that others were watching had only ratcheted up her arousal.
Pike had pinned her arms above her head, nudged her legs wide and shoved up her skirt. The floor had been cold beneath her, but the hint of discomfort had only made it better, more untamed. He’d entered her without warning and had rutted into her like a man possessed—slick with sweat and grunting—and she’d found her mind slipping into a place she’d only flirted with, that sense of calm surrender. She would’ve happily lay there forever, taking what he wanted to give her. He’d come deep inside her, gripping her wrists tight, his weight heavy on her. And even without orgasm, she’d felt this humming sense of satisfaction. That’s when she’d felt the truth. Submission nourished her. Pike’s dominance nourished her.
But, of course, Pike hadn’t been finished with her. He’d pulled out of her, lifted her onto a nearby bench, and then had put his mouth between her legs, heedless of the mess he’d just left inside her, and had brought her to a screaming orgasm right in front of the window.
The whole thing had been rough and sloppy and untethered. And it had showed them both what they needed to know. She could tell Pike had never felt completely legit taking the role of a dominant in the past—that he’d compared himself to the strict standards of his friends. But with her, he could own his brand of it. It wasn’t neat. The lines were blurred. She’d never be the polite sub that called him sir and he’d never take on that cool, stoic persona—there was too much open passion in both of them. But their version was exactly right for them.
So when Pike tugged off her T-shirt and told her to go to the bed and brace her hands on the edge of it, she went without
question.
“I brought some new toys home from my trip,” Pike said, his footsteps heavy on the floorboards behind her as he went to his bag and unzipped it.
“Shopping at stores other than Wicked? Jace is going to be jealous.”
Pike walked over to her, heat radiating off him even though he hadn’t touched her yet. Something traced over her spine. “I had to order this one from one of his suppliers directly. Special order.”
He shifted whatever he had in his hand, and soft, supple falls of leather coasted over her backside. Goose bumps broke along her skin. Pike had flogged her before, but this leather felt softer, more luxurious. “Ooh, what is that?”
Pike let the tails of the flogger tease between her spread legs. “Doeskin. It’s a gentler sting than the elk hide we already have.”