How the hell had he thought it would’ve been any different? Oakley wasn’t a stupid or reckless person. Who would look at him and think long-term or future father to my children or potential love of my life? Not someone like her. No, she wanted a guy who would be there every day, who’d work eight to five and be home for dinner, a guy who’d take her to neighborhood barbecues and coach the kid’s baseball team. A guy like all these yahoos who’d left comments on her page. Not one like him. Not one who came from a fucked-up family and who had a drug history and who thought a fun night was beating her with a belt.
The whole time he’d only been her distraction. Her fling. She’d been trying to tell him that all along. And he’d been too dumb to listen.
But now he heard. Loud and clear.
Oakley may have wanted him in her bed. But she’d never love him.
His phone buzzed against the couch cushion. Frowning, he reached over and grabbed it. Oakley’s name blinked on the screen.
He looked at the clock. Why was she calling this early? He put the phone to his ear. “Hello?”
“I took the test,” she said quietly.
He straightened, all the liquor threatening to come up. “Without me?”
“I—I figured it’d be easier, after everything,” she said, her voice thick, like she’d been crying.
Oh, fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck. “Tell me, Oakley.”
“It’s negative. No pregnancy.”
It was the news they’d both been wanting to hear, but this crashing feeling went through him anyway, like every hope and good thing inside him falling in a pile at his feet. “Are you sure?”
She sighed, like maybe her feelings on it weren’t so clear-cut either. “I took two tests. They’re supposed to be ninety-eight percent accurate.”
He let out a long breath and rubbed a hand over his eyes. “Are you okay? It sounds like you’ve been crying.”
“I’m all right. I think all the stress just got to me at once—seeing the test and finally knowing. I mean, this is a good thing. We’re not—this wouldn’t have been the right time for either of us to have a baby. I’m finally close to getting a promotion at work. You have this big opportunity for your band. Now you can go and enjoy the tour without worrying. There’s nothing holding you here now.”
He lay back on the couch and closed his eyes, his chest hurting. “No, I guess there’s not.”
She was quiet for a long moment. “I’m sorry I hurt you last night, Pike. That’s the last thing I wanted to do. I don’t want you to think your gesture didn’t mean something to me. It meant … well, it meant everything. Not many men would be willing to sacrifice that much to be there for me … and for a baby. But you’ve got to know that it’d be insane for us to move that fast. I’ve got Rae and there’s still so much we don’t know about each other. I would never forgive myself for taking you off course for a career you’ve worked so hard for. You’re brilliant, Pike, and talented, and the world deserves to see that. You’re meant for bigger things than what I and the life I lead could ever give you.”
Her words were meant to soothe, to soft
en the sting, and he had no doubt she meant them with only good intentions. But they cut through him like jagged-edged glass, hurting worse than anything else she’d ever said to him. He was meant for other things. Translation: He was not meant for things like family and kids and loving, long-term relationships. He didn’t fit in that world and never would.
“I’m sorry I can’t be the kind of guy you want.” The words slipped out before he could think to hold them back, and he cringed at how fucking pathetic he sounded.
“What are you talking about, Pike? Didn’t you hear anything I just said?”
“I saw your dating profile, Oakley.”
“You what?”
“It’s fine. I get it. You want a Foster. Not a Pike.”
“You’re not making any sense. Are you drunk?”
“Never mind. It doesn’t matter anyway.” He pressed his fingers to the spot above his right eye where a wicked headache was starting. “Look, Oakley, I’ve got to go.”
“Will I see you tomorrow for the last recording session?”
He grimaced. “I’ve got somewhere to be. I’ll call Braxton, and he’ll help you finish up the recording. He knows how to work everything, and I’ll clean up the files afterward.”
She was quiet for a long moment. “Are you going to be at their performance at the end of the month?”
“It’s on my calendar.”