It was almost too delicious to contemplate.
His eyes were pale but bright in the moonlight. “So why not go for it? I know you’re scared of what people will think, but fuck them. And fuck Doug. You and I spent almost a year hiding in this cabin because we were worried about what people would say. I’m done with that shit.”
Her throat tightened at the fervent words. “I’m not ready to date anyone, Kade. I have enough going on. I’m a freaking mess right now.”
“No,” he said, utter conviction rumbling through the word. “You are not a mess. You’re adopting his labels for you. You got a divorce, started fresh on your own with none of his money, and are about to start a job that you’re passionate about. That woman is not a mess. That woman is someone who deserves to get what she wants. And whether you’ll admit it right now or not, you want this. You want what happened tonight and more of it. I’m not asking you to be my girlfriend. I’m asking you to let me give you the experiences you’re craving. Give yourself permission to have that with me.”
She looked down, folding back the cuffs of his shirt to give her hands something to do. Factions were warring in her mind with daggers and arrows, tearing at each other’s arguments.
“It’s not about permission. This stuff is scary, Kade. This may be standard fare for you. But for me, it’s like falling deeper down the rabbit hole every time.” She glanced toward the dining table, replaying what had happened there in her mind. “I don’t even know who this person is. This girl who’s stripping in the middle of the woods and asking to be spanked.”
“Tess, maybe it’s you. The woman you could’ve been if Doug hadn’t made you feel wrong for your desires. Have you considered that?”
God, so much had changed, yet in many ways nothing really had. Kaden Fowler was still saying shit that made her question everything in her neat little world. She shook her head and groaned, putting her hands over her face. “Aren’t you supposed to be trying to get rid of me? You’ve gotten in my pants, now you can move on to your CEO groupies?”
He took her wrists in a gentle grip and lowered her hands from her face, a devilish little smile touching his lips. “Groupies? Come on, now. And newsflash: I’ve never been one to do the normal thing.”
Wasn’t that the damn truth. She huffed. “Freak.”
He laughed and grasped the lapels of her shirt, pulling her onto his lap. “Yes, I am. And I’m starting to suspect that you are, too.”
“God, you say that like it’s a good thing.”
“It is, Tess. Come on, be honest. Are you ready to go back to how things were before that night at the restaurant? Was a little spanking all that was on your sexual adventure list?”
She rolled her lips inward and nodded solemnly.
“Liar.” He teased. “This is the girl who didn’t want to be boring in bed. The girl who reads books about princes taking advantage of their pretty slave girls. I’m giving you the chance to try all the things that you’ve thought about when you’re alone in the dark.”
She closed her eyes, her body stirring to attention again. “Kade . . .”
“Let me show you how fun pushing boundaries can be,” he said, tucking her hair behind her ear. “We can be discreet. No one at work needs to know we’re seeing each other, and the press only cares who I bring to high-profile events. This can just be about you and me and dropping those rules you’ve had to follow all your life.”
She stared at him, knowing that she should walk away right now. This was Kaden. Not some random hot guy she’d decided to hook up with. This was someone who could get to her, make her feel things, want things. And that was something she couldn’t let happen. Regardless of the boy Kade used to be, the man he was now had all the warning signs. Too smooth. Too rich. Too good-looking. And single by choice.
How many women had he done the seduction thing with? How many had he talked dirty to? How many had gotten hearts in their eyes only to be dropped for the next?
But even knowing the risk, she couldn’t bring herself to form the words she was supposed to. When had she ever done something this out there? This daring? The thought of Kade guiding her through fantasies she barely had the nerve to admit she harbored was like being presented the most decadent piece of chocolate cake and someone asking if she wanted a bite.
“What do you say?” Kade asked, his gaze not wavering from hers.
She took a deep breath and leaned her forehead against his, letting the honest truth fall from her mouth. “You’re kind of hard to say no to, Kade Vandergriff.”
“Yeah?” he said, a hint of schoolboy hope in his voice.
“Yeah. As long as we keep it out of the public eye.”
He pulled back and pressed a kiss to her lips. “I can work with that. For now.”
For now.
The words reverberated in her ears like the aftermath of a ringing bell. But before she could think too hard on it, his eyes narrowed, like he was considering something intently.
“What?” she asked, disconcerted by that evaluating stare. She shifted off his lap and back to the couch to find some solid ground.
“What you said earlier about the prince and the captive . . . were you making a joke or is that a fantasy you find appealing?”
She put her hand to her forehead, feeling silly. “Kade, come on, don’t tease me—”