“No, you need to listen to me now. You’re trying to help me, so let me help you, Wyatt. I want to be here. Not because you’re throwing life-changing money at me or helping me out of a bind, but because I like you and because this trip is important to you. All of the shit in my past was there yesterday just like it is today. It’ll still be there tomorrow. Nothing has changed except that now you know.” She pointed a finger at him. “And I’m staying because I memorized every damn one of those index cards you gave me on the other guests, and I can’t get those hours of my life back.”
He blinked at her, taken aback by her outburst, but then couldn’t stop his smile. “Tell me you didn’t memorize every one of those cards.”
She cocked her head to the side. “Care to test me? I was up very early.”
He raised a palm. “No, no, I trust you. But I don’t want you to feel obligated to do this with me.”
She sighed and slipped the envelope in her purse. A small victory for him. “You said yourself that this money is to buy my freedom, right?”
“Yes.”
“Then let me make my own decisions. I’m staying with you this week and will play the role to the best of my ability because I want to.” She wet her lips. “And the training is off.”
He gave a curt nod. “Agreed.”
She glanced up the aisle of the empty cabin, then unhooked her seatbelt and came over to him, bracing her hands on his armrest and leaning down, giving him an unimpeded view down her blouse as she bent close to his ear. “So now you know that when I get on my knees for you, it has nothing to do with training for a job.”
“Kelsey.” The word came out as a strangled whisper.
She surreptitiously glanced toward the front of the cabin, making sure the flight attendant hadn’t stepped through the curtain, then lowered herself to a kneel next to his seat. “Your dominance strips me, Wyatt, flays me open and leaves me bleeding. But it’s a good bloodletting. If I’m really going to start a new life, I want it to be without fearing that I’m going to tumble backward at the first hiccup. I need to know I’m strong enough to face the fire and walk through it. I need to bury the girl I used to be.”
She was looking up at him, determination in the tilt of her chin but anxiety still lingering in her eyes. He stared down at her, almost afraid to touch her, knowing the minute he did he’d lose the resolve to do the right thing. “But what if I take you too far, Kelsey? What if those fires are too hot?”
“Then I don’t deserve that money or a fresh start because I wouldn’t be ready for it.”
He took a deep breath and set his hands on her shoulders. “I promise you there’s nothing I want more than to spend this week with you in my bed and under my command. But thinking this can be some kind of therapeutic experience is a dangerous fucking path to travel. Sure, maybe you’ll walk away from it feeling stronger. But it’s just as possible that you’ll walk away ripped to shreds and decimated. I’ve seen what can happen.”
The corners of her mouth dipped. “Is that what happened the last time you did this?”
He grabbed his briefcase and shoved it beneath the seat, needing something to do with his hands. “Yes. I ruined someone, Kelsey. Fucking ruined her.”
He caught her wince in his peripheral vision. “What happened to her?”
He gave her a hard look, trying to stave off the barrage of breath-stealing pain that came along with the memory. “I loved her. But in the end, I loved my job more. I told her I needed space. She took a fistful of pills and never woke up. She gave me all the space I could ever need.”
“My God.” She sat back on her calves, as if the revelation had physically shoved her backward. “I’m so sor—”
The speaker dinged overhead and a little red light came on. The flight attendant gave her warnings.
“We’re beginning our descent,” he said gruffly. “You need to get in your seat and fasten your seatbelt.”
“Wyatt—”
He turned away from her, unable to bear the naked sympathy in those blue eyes. Sympathy he damn well didn’t deserve. Mia may have put those pills in her mouth, but he’d been the one to break his promise to her. She’d given him all of herself, and he’d left her with nothing.
“I won’t risk it, Kelsey.”r: Roni Loren
She closed her eyes and nodded, her shoulders sagging with what looked to be relief. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to lay all my shit out there. I just don’t know how to do this.”
“Do what, love?” he asked, rubbing his thumb along the top of her hand.
She watched him for a moment, some battle going on in her eyes, and then she let out a breath and slipped her hand from his. “I realized as I was lying here that I haven’t had this kind of sexual relationship since I was seventeen.”
“What kind?”
She looked down at the blanket she had pulled over her lap for her nap, pinching the fabric between her fingers. “A sober one. One where I wasn’t numb.”
He took a breath. “Oh.” Oh.