He came along with her, and the world felt like it was spinning off course beneath her as he held on to her tight.
He’d said he might not want her to leave.
He wasn’t supposed to say things like that.
He wasn’t supposed to make her feel this way.
No, no, no . . .
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Wyatt scanned through a report on his laptop and tried to make sense of the week’s numbers, something under normal circumstances he could do in his sleep. But this was the third time he’d been through the same report since the company jet had taken off, and he still hadn’t processed any of the information. His attention kept straying to the woman playing possum in the seat across the aisle from him. Kelsey had reclined her chair fully and had turned her face away, claiming she was tired from getting up so early.
But no one slept with a white-knuckled grip and breathing that shallow.
She’d admitted to him before getting on the plane that she’d never flown before and that she was nervous. He’d offered her a glass of wine to help her relax, but she’d quickly declined it. Now she was clearly going the try-to-tough-it-out-in-silence mode.
God, he was a mindless idiot. This morning in the kitchen he’d made the egregious error of speaking before thinking, which was something he thought he’d trained out of himself. But apparently when he was in the midst of fucking a beautiful woman on his kitchen table, his filter went to shit. He’d voiced his in-the-heat-of-the-moment desire to cuff her to his bed and keep her.
Fucking brilliant.
File that under Things You Should Never Ever Say To a Woman Whose Been Held Fucking Captive. He’d wanted to beat his head against the wall when he’d realized what he said. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
And it’d sent Kelsey into retreat mode as soon as she’d floated down from her orgasm. He’d tried to apologize, but she’d waved him off as if it hadn’t mattered. Sure.
Now, instead of allowing him to help her through her fear of flying, she’d shut him out with faux sleeping. He needed to fix this fast. Otherwise, they’d never pull off this sham. He needed her fully into this and feeling safe with him if they had any chance at this working. And beyond that, he hated feeling like he’d scared her in some way.
He tapped a few keys on his keyboard and kept his eyes on the screen. “I know you’re awake over there, so I’m going to talk and you’re going to listen.”
She didn’t move.
“What I said in the kitchen was so out of line I can’t even begin to apologize. It was off the cuff, and I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
She remained still for a long moment, and he wondered if she was going to keep up the act. But finally she shifted infinitesimally, keeping her eyes closed, but letting him know she’d heard him. “It didn’t scare me like you think. Davis never said anything like that to me. He kidnapped me because he wanted the information I had. His obsession was with my sister. When he raped me, he told me how repulsed he was by me and blamed me for tempting him with my whorish body. He wouldn’t even touch me without wearing surgical gloves because I was so dirty. The silver lining is that it meant he wore condoms.”
Wyatt sucked in such a harsh breath, it felt as if his ribs would crack. Christ. The things she’d gone through . . .
She turned her head toward him, her expression tired. “He didn’t want to keep me, he wanted to hurt me, kill me. I know you’re not like him. You’re the opposite. When you dominate me, you . . . cherish.”
He did. Because he knew she was the most beautiful, precious thing he’d ever had the privilege of touching, but he didn’t say that aloud. In his gut he knew that wouldn’t be well received right now. Any attempt at tenderness or sympathy in this moment and she’d shut down. “Then what was it that upset you this morning?”
She shook her head, a sadness there. “Because we agreed this is temporary. What you said . . .”
Ah. He met her eyes. Was it possible she was more commitment phobic than him? He didn’t think that could ever be the case with a woman. But after what Kelsey had been through, how could she possibly trust anyone with her emotions? She was a survivor, and survivors learned how to protect their vulnerabilities at all costs. His heart broke for her. Being so jaded and world weary at twenty-five was its own tragedy. But at least this was territory he could handle. “I like you, Kelsey. I enjoy being around you.”
She flinched like he’d pinched her. And it confirmed exactly how averse she was to the idea of this turning into something emotionally driven. He had to make it clear that he wasn’t there to sell her that bill of goods—even if it risked him sounding harsh. She’d appreciate that more than coddling.
“But this arrangement we have is about two things for me: my business and a little fun. In that order. This is not me trying to manipulate you into a relationship, and it’s not me trying to convince you into some master/slave setup beyond our training. I told you I don’t have room in my life for either.”
Her expression remained wary.
“We made this agreement because I need your help and you need mine. A very nice side benefit is that I get to have you in my bed and under my tutelage for a little while. I consider that a great privilege and don’t take that lightly.” He closed his laptop screen and turned toward her. “But that’s all it is. Anything I say in the heat of the moment is simply dirty talk and errant thoughts.” He reached out and took her hand, squeezing it. “You don’t have to run from me, love. I’m not trying to catch you.”Author: Roni Loren
She closed her eyes and nodded, her shoulders sagging with what looked to be relief. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to lay all my shit out there. I just don’t know how to do this.”
“Do what, love?” he asked, rubbing his thumb along the top of her hand.
She watched him for a moment, some battle going on in her eyes, and then she let out a breath and slipped her hand from his. “I realized as I was lying here that I haven’t had this kind of sexual relationship since I was seventeen.”