“Oh, Hawk,” Kelsey said softly.
“He loves me. I know he does and he wanted to just . . . end it.” Christina’s voice caught on the last two words.
Hawk shook his head, his eyes bloodshot. “I wasn’t going to tell her, but she deserved to know why. I’m not good for her. I’m fucked up.”
Kelsey didn’t think, but instead reacted. Her hand came up and smacked Hawk right across the face, the sound reverberating in the small space. “Do not call yourself that.”
Christina gasped and Hawk blinked, his pupils going big, his submissiveness kicking in whether he wanted it to or not. Face slapping was one of his kink buttons. “I’m so sorry, Mistress.”
Christina stalked over, grabbing Hawk’s arm, and shooting Kelsey the coldest, most hateful look she’d ever seen on such a sweet-looking girl. “You crazy bitch! You hit him! I’m—”
Christina lunged forward like she was going to return the favor, but Hawk held her back. “Baby, don’t . . . This . . . That’s what this is. I—I need to be hurt sometimes.”
“The hell you do!”
He pressed his lips to Christina’s hair as he held her, the anguish on his face breaking Kelsey’s heart into little fragments. “That’s why I need to let you go, Chris. I’m . . .” Kelsey watched him as he searched for a word that wouldn’t get another correction. “I’m different. I crave this, and that’s not going to go away. You deserve better.”
The words hit Kelsey with the force of a kick to the sternum. She’d said the same thing to Wyatt just a few weeks ago. Had given the same “I’m fucked up” speech that had earned Hawk a slap. She was such a goddamned hypocrite.
Christina pulled back from Hawk, her dark eyes going shiny. “I have better. I have you. And I’m not going to give that up just because you’re . . . whatever this is.”
“Baby,” Hawk pleaded.
But Christina was already turning toward Kelsey, her shoulders squaring and chin lifting, shaky bravado but impressive nonetheless. “Let her show me.”
“What?” Hawk asked, looking horrified.
Christina put her hands on her hips and faced Hawk. She looked so damn prim—a proper Southern sorority girl—but Kelsey recognized steel will when she saw it. “You want to crawl on your knees for a woman, want to be beaten on, called names? Then you damn well better be doing it for me and not some blonde with bigger boobs than mine.”
Hawk’s eyes went wide. “What?”
Christina looked to Kelsey, ignoring Hawk’s question. “Can you teach me? Show me how to give him what he needs?”
Kelsey raised her eyebrows, a little stunned, but a lot impressed by this girl. “That’s up to Hawk.”
“Chris, you don’t know what this is, how . . . ugly and brutal it can seem,” Hawk said, but there was a note of hope in his voice.
“Shut up.” Christina stepped in front of Hawk and put her hands on his shoulders, pushing onto her tiptoes to reach, and exerted pressure. Without hesitation he went down to his knees before her. This big brute of a guy falling to a little slip of a girl. Kelsey didn’t think she’d ever seen anything so beautiful. Christina touched Hawk’s stubbled cheek. “I love you, you jerk. No part of you will ever be ugly to me. I don’t care if I don’t know much about this. I’m willing to learn. I’m tougher than you think.”
Hawk, who had never cried in Kelsey’s sessions, no matter how much pain she dished out, teared up. Salty warmth touched Kelsey’s cheek, too. The willingness of this girl to simply accept Hawk, regardless of the complications involved, was humbling. Christina loved him.
And Kelsey realized, as she stood there watching, that this was what love looked like. Not a picture perfect “normal.” Not neat corners and the absence of baggage. But acceptance of it all and a willingness to face it all together. To embrace the ugly.
Kelsey leaned back against the wall, the weight of that realization making her want to slide to the floor.
“I love you, too,” Hawk said, pressing his cheek to Christina’s chest. “Baby, I love you so much. Thank you.”
Christina stroked his hair and smiled down at him. “If I’m being honest, the idea of you tied up and following my directions is past the level of super hot.”
“Really?” he asked, his voice full of wonder.
Christina gripped his hair with surprising strength and yanked his head upward so he could see her face. “But I swear to God, if you keep going to some other woman for what you need, I’m going to string you up by your balls and beat the shit out of you.”
“God, Chris.” Hawk’s eyes glazed over a bit at that, and Kelsey had to hold back a chuckle. The girl had no idea how much she was turning her boyfriend on right now. Hawk looked toward Kelsey. “Would you be willing to train her, Mistress? I know you’re not taking clients any—”
“I’m not taking paying clients anymore,” Kelsey said, pushing off the wall and smiling. “But this I’ll do for free.” She looked to Christina. “As long as your new mistress here is willing to share the room with me for a little while.”
Christina backed away from Hawk and eyed Kelsey. “You never slept with him?”