“But yeah, maybe it was like some little small local business. You know, mom and pop. Not ‘I can vacation on my yacht in the South of France if I want.’”
He chuckled, and was about to point out that he didn’t own a yacht and that he, in fact, hated boats, but quickly squashed the reaction when he realized she was panicking. He had no idea why, but there was a frantic gleam in her eyes. He tossed his napkin off his lap and got up to slide next to her, draping his arm over her shoulders and pulling her next to him. “Hey, what’s this all about? What’s going on in that head of yours?”
She looked over, some mixture of embarrassment and sadness reflecting back at him. “I’m thinking that I might be in over my head. That you’re probably used to women who know exactly what to do and wear and be. I’m thinking that I’m just a girl who has no idea what’s she’s doing.”
He frowned. “You’re not ‘just’ anything, Cela.”
She glanced down at her hands. “Maybe I’m a little overwhelmed by it all.”
“You know what I think?” He lifted her face with a finger under her chin. “I think you’re coming up with things to worry about because you’re scared about what happens now. For the first time in your life, you took a huge risk and went against the grain of everything you’ve ever been. You followed your gut, and now your head is looking for a reason for us not to do this.”
“That’s not true,” she mumbled, staring at his tie instead of looking at him. “I’m not looking for a reason.”
?
?Cela,” he said, his voice holding warning. “Don’t. You know you can back out of this. There’s always an escape hatch. But lying to me is only going to result in you getting turned over my knee, and a sore ass.”
Her lips parted, apparently startled into silence at the threat.
“You have to know I see you more than just some girl,” he said, his tone gentling. “So stop saying stupid things like that and talk to me. Do you need more time? Do you want out? Is it because I jumped on your case earlier tonight? Or did your family freak out over you staying? Give me the truth.”
She closed her eyes and took a long breath.
“How did your family take it, by the way? I should’ve asked that earlier. I’m sorry. I know that had to be hard.”
Her gaze met his, then darted away. “They . . . handled it okay.”
The off note in her voice and shifting eye contact made his radar go on alert. “Cela . . .”
Her throat worked as she swallowed. “It’s fine. I think I’m just freaking myself out. What if I can’t do this? What if I’m not what you need me to be?”
His chest squeezed at the last part, and he put the previous statement aside for now. He’d handle that issue in a second. He cradled her face in his hands. “Stop putting so much pressure on yourself, angel. I want you to be exactly who you are. As for the submission thing, I’m going into this with no expectations. I know this is new to you. All I’m asking is for you to be honest with me as we go through this. Anything else can be worked out. I understand that there is a distinct possibility that I’ll chase you off with all this. I know that and would never blame you if you decide you can’t have this type of relationship.”
Her gaze drifted downward.
“But the fact that you’re still here, that you chose to stay, tells me that there’s a very real possibility that at least part of you needs to explore this. And your fear tonight is normal and my fault. We’ve raced into this thing. It’s been hard not to because when we’re together, there’s something so electric and addictive that all I want to do is have you with me. But I’ve skipped over those mundane things that are just as important, like knowing how the other person takes their coffee, or what their favorite movie is, or what they do all day at their job.”
She lifted her lashes, those clear chocolate eyes searching his face.
“So let’s start here, okay? I like my coffee black with just a little sugar. My favorite movie is Shawshank Redemption, and tomorrow I’ll give you a tour of where I work.”
A hint of a smile tugged at her mouth. “I like half-and-half and Sweet’N Low. My favorite movie is Gone with the Wind. And my job involves lots of fur and questionable fluids.”
“Kinky.”
Her grin spread wide now. “And I have no freaking idea how to eat this crab. The only crab I’ve ever had started with a K.”
He laughed and cupped her jaw, brushing a gentle kiss over her lips. “You need to learn to tell me these things, angel. I’ll take care of you. You just have to let me.”
Her eyes flared a bit at that—a mixture of vulnerability and sexual heat. “I’m trying. Sir.”
The softness that came over her face at saying such a simple word pleased him in a way he couldn’t even describe—and made him realize something very important. When she slipped into the role, the anxiety seemed to lift from her. His being lax with her and letting her ease into everything was maybe doing more damage than good. Tonight he hadn’t pushed the roles, had wanted her to feel totally comfortable so they could have an open discussion. But in doing so, it’d also caused her to overthink every last thing.
He was beginning to realize that’s what his dominance could do for her—ease her mind so she could enjoy herself and let go. She had so much passion and sensuality brewing right there beneath the surface. He’d seen it for himself. But keeping it locked down was a veil of worries about what was proper and right and safe, what others would say about her, what her family would think. Hell, what God himself would think. She needed help breaking through all that. And so far, his taking charge had been the only thing that had worked, which told him exactly what he needed to do tonight.
“No more worries for you tonight, angel. I know how to take away your fear.”
“How?” she whispered, her attention rapt now.