He led Maggie away from the main building and toward the back of the property. Cabins dotted the area to the left, but Grant stayed off the walking paths and instead weaved along the fences protecting the vineyards. The rows of grapevines seemed to stretch out forever under the moonlight. “How is it Ms. Rough-and-Tumble has never been horseback riding?”
She adjusted her grip on the saddle horn, her fingers starting to hurt from grabbing it so hard. “I grew up in the suburbs. Riding four-wheelers was about as country as I got.”
“I bet you were damn cute trying to keep up with those brothers of yours.”
She sniffed. “Cute would probably not be the most accurate description. And I didn’t get to do those things with my brothers. My dad was of the lock-daughter-up-until-she’s-twenty mentality. I’d have to sneak out and play with the neighborhood boys and tell Dad I was playing with Barbies.”
“What about your mom?”
What about her? was the first retort that jumped to her lips, but she bit it back, taking a long breath and staring out at the dark night in front of them. The last thing she wanted to do was talk about her mother, but she’d asked Grant some prying questions earlier, and it was only fair that she give him a little honesty, too. “My mom moved to Los Angeles when I was nine to help my older sister pursue her acting career. I wanted to go with them and be on TV, too, but mom told me the talent agent said I didn’t have the right look.”
The muscles in Grant’s forearms twitched as he gripped the reins tighter, but he stayed silent.
She cleared her throat, trying to move past the lump that always lodged there when she thought about the day her mom walked out. “It was supposed to be temporary—my mom living out her own failed dream through my sister. But my sister landed a part in a kid’s show, and my mother landed a spot in the director’s bed. They came home the next Thanksgiving, and Mom told Dad she was leaving him. Us. Neither she nor my sister ever came home again. It was like we didn’t even exist for her anymore.”
“Wow. That had to be tough for a little girl to understand,” he said, sympathy in his voice.
“I survived. I’d spent my whole life trying to please her and live up to expectations I could never seem to reach. So in some ways, it was easier after she left. My dad was never the same though. She broke his heart, and that broke him. He did a good job raising us, but the light in him went out the day he found out she was leaving for good. He was never the same.” She paused, tears threatening. Nothing could make her lose it quicker than thinking about her daddy. But she pressed her tongue to the roof of her mouth, an old method she’d learned to keep tears at bay.
“How is he now?”
“He died of cancer my junior year of high school. From diagnosis to gone in only six months.” Tears did slip out this time. She brushed them away with the back of her hand. “She didn’t even come home to see him. Me and my brothers took care of him, watched him fade. Part of me thinks he would’ve been able to fight it if he hadn’t been so lost without her.”
Grant kissed her shoulder. “I’m sorry, darlin’. I didn’t mean to bring up something that would upset you.”
She took a few seconds, waiting for the burning sensation of more impending tears to abate, then rolled her neck, trying to shake off the bad memories. “It’s okay. It just makes me angry that he wasted the rest of his life loving someone who wasn’t going to love him back. He was a great man. He could’ve found someone else and had another chance at being happy.”
Grant turned quiet for a moment, and the only sound was hooves hitting the packed dirt. She thought he’d ended the discussion, but finally he said, “Sounds like she was the love of his life. Sometimes there’s no coming back from that.”
She scoffed. “That’s bullshit. Something doesn’t work out, so you roll over and wait to die? Screw that.”
“You think moving on is that easy?” Grant shifted in the saddle, and Maggie whinnied as if sensing the discussion had gone off course. “Have you ever been in love, Charli?”Author: Roni Loren
Her jaw clenched—as if she needed a reminder of her piss-poor love life. “You know I haven’t. But based on what I’ve seen, they can keep it.”
“Oh, really?” She could hear the smile in his voice. The stiffness in his hold on the reins softened a bit. “You’re too young to be so cynical, you know.”
“Ha! Said the pot to the kettle.”
“I’m not that young, freckles.” He slowed Maggie down a bit and guided her to the right where a narrow path led to what looked to be a barn. Though it was hard to tell with only the moonlight. “I come by my cynicism honestly.”
She frowned. She doubted Grant had even crossed into his forties yet, but she had a feeling he wasn’t talking about his age in years. He’d seen a lot of hurt in his life; he wore it in his eyes. Part of her wanted to ask him if he’d ever been in love, but she had a feeling she already knew the answer. And it wouldn’t be a happy story. She pushed away the melancholy thought and straightened her spine. “Well, good thing I’m only using you for your body and not trying to woo you then, Mr. Cynical.”
“Oh, so that’s what this is? I feel so cheap.”
She laughed and poked him in the thigh.
He stopped Maggie in front of a fence and, after making sure Charli was still holding on, dismounted in one fluid motion. He tied the horse to the post, then helped her with her own awkward disembarkation. She landed with an unladylike thunk and almost toppled onto her butt. He grabbed her waist and held her steady. “Whoa, there.”
“Thanks,” she said, the near tumble and the look he was giving her enough to make her breathless. “Grace isn’t my forte.”
“Stop being so hard on yourself.” He pushed her hair away from her face, looking down at her with a serious expression. “And yes, I’m cynical. But it hurts me to hear you be that way. You’ve got too much passion and too much life to live to be so jaded already.”
“And you don’t?”
His thumb brushed her lips, and a shade of sadness crossed his features. “I’m living the life that works for me. I have everything I need.”
She looked back toward the main house, which was only a few squares of light from this distance. Of course he had everything he needed—a beautiful home and property, all the money he could want, and gorgeous women lining up to be with him. Most men would switch places with him in a second. But she sensed a deep loneliness behind his words.