“No,” she said, shaking her head.
“How come?”
She sighed. “Time doesn’t heal everything, Jace.”
He swigged his beer, keeping his eyes on her. “You realize that going into a place like The Ranch is the real deal. What you and Reid did back in the day was dabbling. The members at this place vary from one end of the spectrum to the other. You might find a dom who’s just looking for a little casual play, but many others are seeking total submission.”
Her heartbeat seemed incredibly loud in the quiet intimacy of the room. “Meaning?”
“Meaning guys who want to break down every barrier you have—physical, psychological, sexual—until you’re totally and completely theirs to command. Master and slave. It can be an incredible rush to get into something like that, but also can be seriously overwhelming for the inexperienced.”
Sweat beaded her back, and she shifted in her chair. “Is it safe?”
“The club is very selective about membership for doms. They do background checks, there are income requirements, and you have to have a clean bill of health. And as for the play itself, there are safe words and surveillance cameras to make sure people only take it as far as they mutually want to.”
“Oh, that’s good.” A little flash of relief went through her, not just for herself but for her sister.
He shot her a stern look. “But that’s not across the board, Brynn. They don’t broadcast it, but be aware that there are also unmonitored areas you can get into if you sign a waiver. You need to promise me you won’t venture into any of those areas until you’ve established a trusted relationship with someone. Only the assholes will try to get you into an isolated place this early in the game. And that is dangerous.”
“Right.” Shit. “So what happens when I go to The Ranch?”
He set his beer down on the desk. “Well, if you go in as a single, guest sub, you’d be presented to the members who were interested in taking you on, and you would get to select which one to be with. Then you’d have to demonstrate your submission to him in front of the group.”
“Why would I have to do that?”
He shrugged. “It’s a way to make sure you’re serious. Some members of the club are pretty important people. If a reporter or private investigator tried to sneak in, they’d have to really want to get a story to go through public submission. Grant will be there looking for that kind of thing, so that’s why you have to make sure you’re absolutely convincing.”
Her knuckles turned white against the bottle. “And what exactly does public submission involve?”
“Whatever the hell your dom wants.”
She nodded slowly, then glanced up at him. “I’m kind of freaked out about the whole thing. What if I can’t convince that Grant guy?”
He smiled and stepped closer to her, placing a warm hand on her shoulder. “I have faith in you. All you need to do is channel whoever you were back when you were Reid’s sub. You have it in you. The key is going to be to not focus on anything but your own personal reasons for being there. Give yourself over to the experience. Once you’re past initiation, you can worry about tracking down your sister.”
“Right,” she said, trying to convince herself.
“You’ll be fine. I bet after a few days there, the sub role will become second nature to you again.”
“Wait? A few days?” she asked, her voice coming out too high.
He stepped over to his desk and grabbed a few papers. “The Ranch is a retreat, not a drop-in club. You can’t sign up for anything less than a three-day stay.”
“Shit.”
“I had to pull some strings to get you in this quickly.” He handed her the documents. “Fill these out and fax them back to me by tomorrow morning, and I can get you in for the retreat starting on Wednesday. There is also a rule sheet in there for you to go over.”
She set her beer on the side table and took the pages from him. A hopeful thought hit her. “Are you going to be there?”
He gave her a rueful smile. “Doll, I’d love to take you on as my sub for a while, if you’d have me, but I can’t bail on the store without more notice.”
Her shoulders sagged.
He sighed and kissed the top of her head. “You’re going to be fine. Just trust your instincts and don’t be afraid to use your safe word if someone pushes you too far.”
She managed a shaky smile and stood. Now she needed to make sure she pulled off this ruse to the nth degree for yet another reason. She definitely didn’t want to get Jace in any trouble with the club or screw with whatever business dealings he had with The Ranch.
“Thanks, Jace. I really appreciate you risking your hide to help me.”