His expression hardened. “No, I was going to say because I know how protective you are of your sister. But maybe your assessment is more accurate.”
She flexed her fingers, wishing that she’d taken the kickboxing class instead of the self-defense one because punching Reid’s smug face would have been so satisfying. But she really didn’t need to get fired for interoffice violence on top of her already shitty day. “Screw you, Reid.”
He smirked, tilting his head closer as if he were going to share a secret. “You already did that, sugar. And from what I remember, you loved every minute of it. All you have to do is ask and I’ll come along with you.”
Heat rushed to her cheeks, but her tone turned icy. “Don’t misconstrue my appreciation for your help this weekend with forgiveness. You lost the right to touch me a very long time ago.”
“Suit yourself.” He rocked back on his heels and tucked his hands in his pockets. “Good luck with your stranger, Brynn.”
Your stranger. Her lunch threatened to make an encore appearance, and she turned on her heel, striding away before Reid could see how much he’d gotten to her.
SIX
then
Brynn flinched as Davis Ackerman slammed his fist on his desk, a strand of perfectly gelled hair falling across his forehead.r: Roni Loren
Brynn waved a dismissive hand. “I already did the protocol with a therapist where I went through a retelling. The exposure stuff hasn’t worked. It didn’t even get the nightmares to stop.”
“Experiencing the memory in the counselor’s office isn’t the same as putting yourself in your most feared situation. And it wouldn’t be like getting raped again. They have rules at places like that. You could make the person stop at any time.”
Brynn pinched the bridge of her nose, the pounding in her head getting worse. “Mel, I love you, but you’re talking crazy. Not only does the whole idea make me feel like I’m going to puke, but I’m not going to hand my body over to some stranger who gets off on hitting women. I spend all day working with my clients trying to get them away from men like that.”
She sighed. “Dominance and abuse are two totally different things. You and I both know that.”
Brynn quirked an eyebrow. “Sounds like you’re speaking from experience.”
She shrugged, and then focused on picking invisible lint off her black pants. “I may have gone to one of those kink clubs once during grad school.”
“And you didn’t tell me? What sort of roommate leaves that kind of choice information out? I told you everything that was going on with me.”
“Oh, like that was so scandalous,” she said, looking up and smirking. “You were dating an accounting major for God’s sake. I didn’t want to freak you out. And anyway, I just went for research purposes. I didn’t actually participate in anything.”
Brynn propped her elbows on her desk and placed her chin in her hands. “So what exactly did you do if you didn’t join in?”
Melody rolled her eyes. “Duh. Watched.”
Brynn leaned back in her chair. “Oh, hell, I hadn’t even thought about that part. Even if I had the guts to try to get in the club, I forgot about the fact that others could see me.”
“Hey, that’s not necessarily a bad thing.” Mel’s voice took on a saucy tone. “Some people find it exciting to be watched. You never know, you may be an exhibitionist under that good-girl facade.”
A long-dormant memory tickled the back of Brynn’s mind, making her cheeks heat. Her best friend had no idea how, once upon at time, she’d been far from angelic. She cleared her throat. “Sounds like my personal nightmare, not a fantasy.”
Mel gave her a sympathetic smile. “Fair enough. Just know I’m not trying to tell you what to do, hon. You need to figure out what feels right for you.” She stood and gave Brynn’s hand a quick squeeze. “But either way, Kelsey is lucky to have a sister who still cares enough to worry about her. A lot of people would’ve given up on her a long time ago.”
Mel’s words hung in the air long after her friend stepped out, wracking Brynn with guilt. Mel was wrong. Her sister was far from lucky. The only person in the world who cared about her was sitting on her ass in her office too scared of her own demons to try to help. A useless coward.
She pressed the heels of her hands to her forehead, turning Mel’s suggestion over in her mind again. Exposure therapy. Full immersion in her fear. The idea sounded padded-cell crazy, but what if her friend was right? What if the only way she was ever going to get past this was to jump off the proverbial cliff and plunge into her nightmare?
She was so tired. Tired of being scared. Tired of waking up in a cold sweat. Tired of letting what some monster did dictate so much of her life.
Maybe this was the answer. God knows nothing else had worked.
Her phone rang, startling her from her thoughts. She fumbled for the receiver. “Hello?”
“Brynn, it’s Tony Flores.”
Her contact with the police department. Thank God. “Hey, Tony.”