She nodded. But that was all she was going to wait around for. This needed to be said before she burst. Because she wasn’t going anywhere until he heard her out about everything. Including the part she’d been too afraid to come straight out and say before now—she loved him.
* * *
Jax needed a moment to gather his thoughts.
In reality, he needed to back away before he pulled Cleo into his arms and kissed her into silence. Secretly he’d been wishing she’d show up, but logic told him that this talk would not end happily—for either of them. Why couldn’t she have just left things alone?
He walked over to the couch and grabbed his discarded T-shirt. He’d spent the past couple of days doing nothing but trying to forget the fun and the laughter when he was around Cleo. She was his sunshine and without her, life was like a blustery gray day. But he couldn’t be greedy. Her happiness was more important to him. He’d forgotten that for a moment, but he wouldn’t forget it again. He just had to make her understand that she was setting her sights on the wrong man...no matter how touched he was that she chose him.
Taking a deep breath in and slowly blowing it out, he turned. “Okay, I’m listening. But I don’t have long. I have some packing to do before I head to the airport.”
Cleo’s gaze slowly surveyed the room before cocking an eyebrow at him.
“Like I said, I have things to do before heading to the airport.” He wasn’t about to admit to her that he’d bee
n so miserable since he walked away from her that he hadn’t wanted to be disturbed by anyone, including housekeeping.
“Then you won’t want to forget to pack this.” She withdrew the pocket watch from her purse and placed it in his hand, wrapping his fingers around it.
“I can’t take this. It belonged to your grandfather.”
“And he wanted you to have it. He wouldn’t have gone out of his way to help you if you hadn’t come to mean a great deal to him. His son was busy with his own family. And my grandmother was gone. I was too young then to understand how lonely he must have been. So you filled in that gaping hole and I’m sure he took great pleasure in being able to help you.”
Jax’s throat tightened as his hand lowered. He couldn’t believe how Cleo was able to be so positive when it would be so easy for her to hate him for taking what would have been her inheritance money and the pocket watch.
He wasn’t going to continue to argue about it. “I’ll keep it until you or Kurt have children of your own and then you can have it for them.”
“Speaking of children, since when do you get to dictate whether I’ll have any or not?”
He inwardly groaned. She had a stubborn glint in her eyes. She wasn’t going to leave until he convinced her that walking away was the best option. Why did Cleo always have to do things the hard way?
“I saw you the other day with that baby. It was obvious that you’re a natural mother. And don’t even try to tell me again that you don’t want children just because you know that I can’t give you any.”
She pressed her hands to her hips. “You’re right, that was wrong of me.”
At last, he was getting through to her. He wanted to be happy for her that she was seeing reason and was no longer willing to throw her life away on him, but it only made him sadder.
She tilted her chin. “The thing is I don’t know if I want to have children. As of today, I don’t. But tomorrow, who knows. When my biological clock starts to tick, I might totally change my mind.”
“Then you accept that we can’t be together.”
“The thing is I’ve heard you say that you can’t have children, but you’ve never said whether you want them or not.”
“What does that matter?”
She smiled as though she knew something he didn’t. “I had to be reminded that being a parent isn’t a matter of DNA. And there are so many options open to people wanting to give love to a child, from adoption to foster parenting. And if we want a baby, there are sperm banks.”
He was surprised by how much thought she’d put into this after her emotional response the other night. This time he was persuaded to believe she’d really thought this over. She deserved an honest answer.
“Until I spent time with you, I hadn’t given kids any thought. My childhood wasn’t the happiest so I wasn’t inclined to be a family man, but being around you has me rethinking my stance.”
“So then kids are a possibility for you, too.” She smiled up at him as if she’d bested him.
“You’re forgetting one big thing. The cancer. My life is lived one test result to the next.”
“Then maybe you should broaden your horizons and quit living test to test. No one says you have to.”
“But you don’t understand, it could come back.”