“This is all my fault. I’m selfish and an uncaring jerk.”
“That’s not true.”
“Yes, it is, or I wouldn’t be putting you through this.”
In that particular moment, he hated himself for hurting her. He wasn’t deserving of her love.
He dipped his head and planted a quick kiss to her cheek. “Have a good life. You deserve the best.”
He turned and started walking. He had to get away before she wore through the last of his resistance. She had no idea how hard it was to act as if he didn’t care about her when his heart thumped out her name with every beat.
It was only after he was headed down the sidewalk to the SUV that he realized they’d done this scene once before...long ago when he left Hope Springs. Back then he was walking away from one of his dearest friends. This time he was walking away from the woman who held his heart in her hands.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
UNABLE TO SLEEP since Jax walked out the door, Cleo found herself spending all of her time in her sewing room. It was where she lost herself when the
world turned dark and gray. And thanks to her sketch pad, she had plenty of creations to keep her hands busy. But her mind kept stumbling back to Jax.
She wanted to yell at him and tell him that he didn’t know what she was thinking, but the truth was he had been pretty accurate. She’d blurted out that she didn’t want kids in desperation to keep him from leaving.
It pained her to admit it, but she was doing exactly what she promised herself she wouldn’t do. She was making a monumental decision based on what Jax wanted—not what she wanted. And that was a recipe for disaster.
Jax had been right to turn down her plea. She didn’t know how she felt about kids. In all honesty, she hadn’t given the subject much thought. At this point in her life, she still had lots of time to start a family—if she chose to.
She found herself in Robyn’s living room to drop off the baby items Robyn had ordered for her sister’s upcoming baby shower and yet somehow Cleo had ended up staying for a chat. While she waited for her friend to return with the coffee, she pulled her grandfather’s pocket watch from her pocket. Her thumb rubbed over the engraved design.
She’d found the watch in her duffel bag she’d brought back from the mansion. She knew for certain she hadn’t placed it in there because she’d given it back to Jax. Obviously her grandfather had loved Jax and wanted him to have the watch. The fact that Jax still had it and hadn’t sold it as her grandfather had given him liberty to do was a tribute to Jax’s feelings for him.
No man who was selfish and uncaring would carry around a memento and then hand it over to her because he saw how much it meant to her. Only a man with a heart of gold would be that thoughtful and generous.
“What’s that in your hand?” Robyn asked as she placed a cup of steaming coffee in front of her.
“It belongs to Jax. He forgot it.”
“He’ll be missing it. You should catch up to him before he heads to the airport.”
“Maybe.” But she still had something to get straight in her mind before she faced Jax. “How did you know if you wanted kids?”
“That’s easy. I always enjoyed them. And Mike comes from a big family. So we agreed to have at least two babies. Why?”
She could feel her friend’s intent stare while Cleo concentrated on stirring the sweetener into her coffee. “The strange thing is I’ve never really thought about kids...until now.”
“Are you pregnant?”
Cleo’s head jerked up so she could gauge the look on her friend’s face. She was serious. Cleo inwardly groaned. Maybe agreeing to stay and talk wasn’t the best choice. She already had enough problems on her mind.
“No. I’m not pregnant. And don’t even think of wishing it on me. You’ve got the mommy genes. The jury is still out for me.”
Robyn held up her hands all innocentlike. “Sorry, I jumped to the wrong conclusion.”
“Stephie’s adorable, but I’m not ready for that kind of commitment. Is that bad? I mean, I’m only twenty-five. If I don’t want kids now, do you think I’ll never want them?”
Robyn shrugged and sat back in her chair. “I pretty much knew what I wanted early in life, but everyone is different. Do you have to know now? Does this have something to do with Mr. Tall, Dark and Dreamy?”
“He has reason to think he can’t have kids and he doesn’t think it’s fair to tie me down. He thinks that eventually I’ll want them.”
“He could be right.”