He shook his head. “I have Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Luckily I found the lump early on. And I’ve since been through the treatments.”
“Are you cured?”
He shook his head. “But I just found out that I’m in remission.”
The fright in her eyes eased to a look of concern. He wished she would say something. Do something. Even if it was to walk away. At least then he’d know where they stood.
As the silence stretched on, his patience snapped. “Cleo, did you hear me? I have cancer.”
“I heard you. I’m just wondering, with both of your parents gone, did you go through this all by yourself?”
He didn’t see why any of that mattered now. “Yes, I did.”
“You know if you’d called me or even Kurt, we’d have been there for you.”
Her words stirred a spot in his chest. The thought that she’d even offer to stand by him through such a tough time said so much about her sweet nature. Cleo may have grown up and changed on the outside, but inside, where it counted, she was still the caring and thoughtful person he’d known all those years ago.
He drew his thoughts up short. He was letting himself get distracted. He had to be sure she understood what he was trying to tell her—that he couldn’t be with her the way she wanted. That this thing between them had gone as far as he could let it go.
“I’m so sorry you felt you had to go through that all alone.”
“Cleo, you aren’t understanding what I’m trying to tell you.”
“Yes, I am. You told me that you were very sick and you had no one there to stand by your side. But now you don’t have to face the future alone. You have me. I’ll be there to hold your hand. Or read you silly stories from magazines. Whatever you need.”
She wanted to be there for him? Really be there. Not just with words but with action, too. His gaze blurred and he blinked rapidly. No one since his mother had ever put his needs first. He glanced away and rubbed at his eyes. Someday Cleo would make some man amazingly happy. He envied that person.
Jax cleared the lump in his throat. “You won’t need to do that. My treatments are done for now. But that’s no guarantee there won’t be a recurrence.”
There. He’d said it all. She knew now she’d be wasting her time on him. He turned his back, unable to watch her walk away.
He waited. Listening. Longing for this agonizing moment to be over. Just like when he was a kid and got caught stealing a locket for his dying mother. She always wanted one to hold pictures of the two men in her life, but his father told her it was a waste of money. Some people had looked at Jax with pity and a certain amount of resignation. Others had turned their backs on him. He hadn’t cared. It was the only thing he’d been able to do for her on her deathbed and it had been worth every cruel look. Why should he think that now would be any different?
But in the next moment, he remembered how Cleo paid for the necklace. He’d been so embarrassed, he’d run off. Afterward she’d never mentione
d it. And it had taken him time, but eventually he’d paid her back every single penny he owed her.
The next thing he knew Cleo’s arms wrapped around him—hugging him. Her cheek pressed to his back. And he could feel the dampness through his T-shirt of what must surely be her tears. Just like all those years ago, she was there for him.
He carefully turned, trying not to knock her off-balance and reinjure her leg. He wrapped his arms around her, taking comfort in her warmth. He braced himself as she hesitantly raised her gaze until she met his.
In her eyes he found understanding. How could he have ever doubted her?
He held her to his chest and lowered his cheek to the top of her head. He stayed there in her embrace, absorbing the peace that came with her acceptance of what had happened to him. He didn’t know until that moment just how much he needed her to understand—to make him feel normal.
“Thank you,” he whispered into her hair.
She squeezed him tighter.
He breathed in her strength and let it settle his nerves. He didn’t know that it was possible to feel even better than when he got the test results from the doctor. But right now, he felt as though he could take on the world...and win.
Jax eased back from Cleo just far enough to look into her eyes. He needed to hear it with his own ears. “You’re really not put off by my cancer?”
“I think you are the most wonderful man both inside and out. No disease can change that.” She followed her words with a kiss that left no doubt about what she had in mind.
Believing in her words, he gave in to his long-withheld desires. He scooped her up into his arms and carried her upstairs, leaving Charlie to finish his catnap alone.
* * *