or him. And if something was wrong, it was always Simon’s mother’s fault.
Simon squeezed his eyes closed, blocking out the painful images. But there was one thing he couldn’t escape—his fear that lurking within him were the same traits his father had. What if he ended up hurting Pepper and, indirectly, their child? Not physically. He’d never ever raise a hand to a woman or a child. But emotionally, he had scars that he couldn’t move beyond.
His blood ran cold. That couldn’t happen.
He didn’t know what to do about his DNA. There was no way to run from it—to hide from the genes that made him. And then there were the things he’d seen and heard growing up. The yelling, the fighting—it was all he’d known. Could a person really change what had been practically stamped upon his DNA? He highly doubted it.
The key to his child having a happy, loving home was Pepper. She was so full of goodness that it radiated from her. She loved life. She loved baking. She loved tending to her customers—including him.
He’d never forget the morning when he’d gotten word that his childhood friend had unexpectedly died. He’d felt lower than low because he’d let distance grow in the relationship. His friend, Clay, had tried over the years to rekindle the relationship, but Simon had let his drive for business and his need to become someone totally different from his father be his sole focus. That gray drizzly morning, after hearing of his friend’s unexpected death, he’d strolled into the Polka Dotted Bakery. He’d been out walking aimlessly, as sleep had evaded him.
And there had been Pepper. She’d been like a ray of sunshine in a dark, stormy sky. And he’d clung to that bright light. She’d never known how much her company had meant to him.
Instead, they’d just sat there talking about the bakery and a bunch of trivial things. And yet that conversation was what he’d needed to survive his guilt—to keep putting one foot in front of the other as he’d attended the funeral, as he’d faced his own mortality.
And then the next week, when he just couldn’t stay away, he’d made his way back to the bakery. He didn’t know if she’d be there. At the time, he didn’t know that she owned the bakery. Still, he’d had to go back if there was a chance that he’d see her again—talk to her again.
If she could do that for a perfect stranger—make that much of a positive impact—he was quite certain she would make the perfect mother for his son or daughter.
* * *
Pepper turned her back to Simon.
He wasn’t the only one caught off guard by this news.
A baby changed everything. It meant opening her heart to another person for the first time in a long time. The thought stilled the breath in her lungs.
She wasn’t ready for this. She’d lost so much already. The thought of caring for someone else, a little human counting on her for everything, was daunting. But the baby didn’t have a choice in these matters.
And neither did she. Pepper moved her hand over her abdomen, imagining the little baby inside her. She loved it already. How could she not?
With a baby to support, she’d need the bakery. If only the fire marshal would complete his report so she could get the repairs started.
She glanced over her shoulder at Simon as he yanked his tie loose and unbuttoned the collar of his white dress shirt. For a man known for his coolness in some of the toughest business negotiations, he had certainly lost his cool when he’d found out he was going to be a father.
But she had to wonder if he was planning to be in the baby’s life. After all, a baby wouldn’t actually fit into his glass-and-modern-art decor. But could he really turn his back on his own child?
She sensed Simon stopping behind her. She turned to him and their gazes met. They couldn’t leave things like this. She had to know if she was in this all alone.
He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry I’m not handling this better. I never thought I’d be in this position.”
“I know you don’t want to get married. And neither do I. But I need to know if you’re planning to be in our child’s life?”
“I’ll pay child support.”
“What about partial custody or visitation?”
He didn’t say anything.
Pepper went on, because she had strong feelings about the subject. “I know fatherhood might not have been something you planned for your future, but now that it’s a reality, I hope you’ll be a part of the baby’s life.”
His troubled gaze met hers. “You don’t know what you’re asking.”
“I do know. I grew up never knowing my father. I always thought someday my mother would tell me about him. But then she was killed and my chance to learn about him died with her. I don’t want our child to wonder about you.”
His gaze searched hers. “You want me to be a regular part of the child’s life?”
She nodded. “It’s important not only for our child, but for you too. I know you, Simon. You’d never forgive yourself if you weren’t a part of our son or daughter’s life.”