It seemed ironic now that she had never realised before what lay at the root of her almost desperate determination to dislike him. Part of her had known even then that this could happen, but had hidden that knowledge from herself.
They reached the hospital in good time. Her father was as excited and happy as a small child. He had always taken such pleasure in so many small aspects of life; pleasure that seemed to pass other people by. When she’d been a child, he had opened her eyes to so much that was denied to others, Heather recognised, smiling back at him. In his smile she read his pleasure at seeing her in apparent accord with Kyle, his excitement at the coming trip, and his relief that his hospital ordeal was over. Her mother stood at his side, less ebullient, more restrained, but just as thrilled, none the less. Heather turned to look at her and just caught the look that she and Kyle exchanged, conspiratorial and protective. Unobtrusively she touched Heather’s father’s arm, drawing his attention away from the small group of hospital staff wishing him well.
‘It’s time we left, darling. We don’t want to miss the flight.’
The nurse Kyle had hired was meeting them at the airport. Looking at her father, seeing him restored to his old self, Heather acknowledged that, even if she could not have loved Kyle for any other reason, she must have loved him for this. Without his help, his money, this operation would not have been possible, nor this convalescence.
‘You’re very quiet, darling,’ her mother whispered to her when they reached the airport and she was left standing with her parents while Kyle went to sort out their flight details. ‘Is…is everything all right?’
The anxiety that momentarily shadowed her mother’s eyes hurt her. ‘Everything’s fine.’ Heather assured her, tucking her arm through her mother’s and smiling as genuinely as she could. ‘Kyle and I…’she swallowed. ‘I’ve realised what an idiot I was all those years ago,’ she admitted quietly. ‘I realised it long ago, in fact, but it was too late then, Kyle had already left.’
As though she read the guilt in her eyes, her mother responded lovingly, ‘We were as much to blame, if blame is the right word. We should have given more thought to how having another child living with us would affect you, but darling, I promise you we never stopped loving you. You are our child…’
Now, having made love with Kyle and knowing however remote a possibility it was that she might have conceived his child, Heather knew exactly what her mother meant. No child born out of love such as she bore Kyle, and such as her parents shared, could ever be supplanted by a child not created in that union, no matter how well loved that other child might be. She was special to her parents because she was the product of their enduring love for one another.
‘They’re all ready for you.’
Kyle was coming back, accompanied by the nurse and a member of the airport staff. Very discreetly her father was helped into a wheelchair and escorted through the airport formalities. They were allowed to accompany him as far as the barrier, where a very efficient steward took over, carrying her mother’s hand luggage and smoothing their progress.
Kyle had organised all that. Kyle’s love for her parents was such that no expense or consideration was spared in their care and comfort. Stupid tears stung her eyes, and she didn’t really know whether they were for herself or for the lonely little boy her parents had fostered all those years ago.
‘If you want to watch them take off we’d better make a move.’
Silently Heather followed him, one part of her aching to be free of the torment of his company, the other longing to prolong it. She was a mass of tensions and nerves, longing for him to say something, to break the taut silence, and yet at the same time dreading hearing the words that would confirm what she already knew: that, for him, last night had simply been a pleasant interlude, and that he had no desire for her to attach any emotional importance to it.
They watched in silence as the plane took off, and then once it had disappeared Heather automatically followed Kyle as he turned to leave.
He paused to open a door for her, and as she hesitated to allow someone else to precede her his hand touched the small of her back, urging her forward. Even through her layers of clothes she was immediately aware of his touch. Her whole body burned, the hot flush darkening her face betraying her agitation. She knew that Kyle must be as aware of her reaction as she was herself, but he made no comment. They walked side by side to the car park, and Heather couldn’t help wondering what he was thinking. His thoughts were not hers to concern herself with, she told herself sharply. That chapter of her life, short and bitter-sweet though it had been, was over.
CHAPTER TEN
‘THIS isn’t the way back to your house.’
They had left the airport behind, and Heather frowned as she recognised the familiar environs of Bath.
‘No, I said I’d show you the site of the new shopping arcade. Give you a taste of what your new job will involve.’
She sat back, half shocked, half thrilled. He still intended to give her the job? She was surprised, she couldn’t deny it. Unless…her whole body went cold, and she rubbed instinctively at her goose-pimpled arms. Unless it was because of her parents that he still intended to employ her; because he didn’t want to hurt or worry them; because he knew how pleased they would be to learn that she had a safe, secure job with him that wouldn’t take her too far away from them. But how could she accept employment on those terms? She wanted him to want and value her for herself. If he couldn’t love her, then surely at least she could have his respect? And taking a job that was purely and simply a sinecure was no way to achieve that. Besides, how could she work for him, feeling as she did? It was impossible.
It was equally impossible for her not to be impressed when Kyle stopped the car a few yards short of the half-restored arcade.
It was very much as he had described to her, and from the section of the arcade which was already partially restored it was possible to see what the finished effect would be. The Georgian bow windows cried out for subtle, delicate decoration, the traditional cobbled pedestrian-way invited people to linger.
There would be benches at intervals, and a traditional form of street lighting. The opportunity to orchestrate a unifying flow of window décor for the entire complex was one that couldn’t be turned down lightly. Heather tried not to allow herself to imagine the pleasure she could have found in the work if she and Kyle were meeting as equals. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t take a job that was being offered to her simply because of her parents.
‘Kyle…’ She turned to tell him as much but he was frowning, his voice clipped.
‘Heather, I know what you’re thinking. What you’re going to say. I can’t in all honesty pretend that I can forget last night, but I promise you I won’t let it interfere in our business relationship, if that’s what’s worrying you. You won’t have to pay for your job by sleeping with the boss.’ He said the words with distaste, his mouth contorted in a faint grimace. ‘For your parents’ sake, though, if nothing else, I want you to promise me that you won’t leave either my home or my employ. Promise me.’
A cold wind whistled through the deserted arcade, making her shiver. ‘Promise me.’ She was trapped and they both knew it. How quickly he had divined her intentions! But it wasn’t as easy as that.
Her breath shook in her lungs as she breathed in. She mustn’t let herself be tied to a promise she wasn’t sure she could keep.
‘Kyle, I don’t think I can make that sort of commitment. After last night…well, you must see how difficult it would be.’
He wasn’t going to make it any easier for her, she recognised, facing his grim silence.
‘For me to work for you would be bad enough, but to carry on living with you…that would be intolerable for both of us. You must see that,’ she pleaded wildly.