If these bitches have anything to do with it, I will be stuck here, washing floors and reading books in the attic for the rest of my life, all while they spend my father’s money. I wish I could find a way to make them pay for everything they have done and continue to do to me.
I don’t bother to answer Clarissa and ignore my stepsister’s victorious smiles.
“You can go now,” Clarissa says in a hushed but icy cold tone.
I walk away without as much as a nod, and Clarissa calls out from behind me. “And don’t forget to have our breakfast ready by seven o’clock. I have an early appointment that I cannot miss.”
I keep going, as fast as my feet will allow, up the two flights of stairs and into my bedroom. Do not cry, I tell myself, doing my best not to fall apart. Most days, it takes everything I have left inside to keep them from getting the best of me. Today is not the day. Clarissa will not defeat me. I will not allow her to win.
After a horrible night of sleep, I rode my usual three buses to school, had my usual classes with Tori, ate my usual lunch out of a brown paper bag outside the library, and then proceeded to the tutoring center, as per the usual. I have my entire life planned out, no different from one day to the next. But the much-needed and welcome change is Shawn, who is already waiting when I step inside the room. There is nothing typical about him.
He peeks up from his textbook when I pull out the chair next to him. His smile lights his entire face and reaches up to his steel blue eyes. I could stare at his face forever, get lost in those eyes, and stay warm in his arms.
I take off my jacket and slip it over the back of the chair, my heart beating out of my chest. Shawn makes me so nervous, despite how comfortable I am around him at times. All of this is new for me. And I doubt I will ever get used to the way Shawn stares at me as if he too could get lost in my eyes.
“Hey,” he mutters, pushing my chair into the table after I sit down. “How did everything go last night?”
I shrug my bag off my shoulder and set it on the table to retrieve a notepad and pen. “I’m grounded, nothing out of the ordinary.”
“Because of me?” I can hear both the shock and disappointment in his tone. He touches my forearm, stroking my skin with his fingers. “I’m sorry, Ella. I didn’t mean for you to get in trouble. This is all my fault.”
I shake my head and flip open the notebook, taking the pen in my hand. “None of this is your fault. I knew you weren’t allowed at my house, yet I didn’t tell you to go until it was too late. I don’t regret anything about last night.” A beat passes between us for a second before I continue, “Well, I regret telling you one thing, but other than that, I stand by my decisions.”
He cocks an eyebrow at me, confused at first. “What do you regret?” It takes him a few seconds before he catches on, now remembering my confession about my virginity. “Oh, right.”
“Yup, that,” I add, making a goofy face at him to lighten the mood.
“For the record, being a virgin is not something to be ashamed of, Ella. You should be proud of the fact that you didn’t give it up to an asshole like me in some dark corner of a frat house.”
“You’re not an asshole, Shawn, far from it.”
“I’m not the kind of guy a girl like you would ever want.”
With his hand still covering mine, I feel his pulse quicken. He’s nervous, and so am I.
“That’s not true,” I confess. “You’re the kind of guy every girl wants. Stop being so modest. Girls throw themselves at you all the time. You have no shortage of takers when it comes to sex.”
“But I want more than just sex.”
Did I hear him correctly?
I’m afraid to ask, but I want to know the answer. “If not sex, then what do you want?”
He leans in, our mouths only a few inches apart. “I want you.” His breath grazes my lips, sending chills down my spine.
Being this close to Shawn causes my heart to pound, clawing its way out of my chest.
“You want me?” I point my finger at my chest, still confused by his declaration. “What about your mystery girl?”
Slowly, he sits back in his chair, staring down at our hands intertwined, thinking over my comment. Even though I’m the girl he’s on a mission to find, I have to keep my mouth shut. When the time is right, I will reveal my identity to Shawn.
By the way his lips part, he looks as though he wants to say something. Instead, we sit there in silence for close to a minute, even though it seems much l
onger.
“There’s just something about you,” Shawn says, rubbing his hand over mine. “I wish I could put my finger on it.”
I know what he means because I feel the same way about him. Instead of acknowledging his comment, I peel my hand from beneath his and slide the textbook between us. “We should start on your next assignment. You’re already behind in this class, and I promised I would help you get your grades up.”