‘You didn’t think to tell me?’
‘Oh, I did,’ he said, and she frowned as he spoke on. ‘I decided it was safer not to.’
‘Were you worried that you might have called down for room service?’ Bella smiled just a little and so too did he.
‘Yep.’
Then he broke the last piece of her heart.
‘I’m leaving after this dance,’ he said, and from the strain in his voice she knew that he meant it. ‘I’ve booked a helicopter—’
‘You’re the best man.’
‘I know,’ he said, ‘but I have to go and I have to think and I can’t do that with you...’
He couldn’t, because he was as turned on as she was. If he stayed, if there was even one more dance they would be back in the hotel room and tonight Matteo needed to be the best man he could be.
Not for Luka but for Bella and himself.
He kissed her cheek and said goodbye and he held her a moment and smelt her hair and then she watched as he went and said farewell to the bride and groom. She saw the lights of his helicopter and Bella stood alone.
With her pride, though.
It offered little consolation.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
BELLA WASN’T A MAGPIE.
She didn’t take shiny things for herself.
The nice things she wanted were for the people she loved.
Tonight, though, her desire was selfish.
‘Sophie...’ Bella went over to her friend and Sophie was the happiest she had ever seen her. It was clear to all that this wedding was no farce—you could feel the love between Sophie and Luka.
‘I’m going to be the worst bridesmaid in the world,’ Bella said, and Sophie smiled as she told her that she would be leaving early.
‘Are you going after the best man?’
Bella nodded. ‘I’ll never be suitable wife material for Matteo,’ she said, ‘I get that, but...’ She didn’t finish. She didn’t need to explain to her friend that the one night she’d had with Matteo was one she had fought for five years not to remember.
Bella wanted one more night that she would never let herself forget.
‘Go,’ Sophie said, and they had a cuddle. ‘Do you need a car?’
‘No, I’ve asked Pino to take me.’
Bella slipped away from the wedding party and into the churchyard and past the beautiful gravestones, then she went back to her mother’s grave, which the villagers still dressed with kindness.
‘I love you, Ma. I love you so much and one day I’ll be back to give you the stone you deserve, but tonight I’m leaving. I’m going to spend the money I’ve saved on myself. I’m going to do something not because I have to but because I want to.’
* * *
Pino, the village messenger, had moved from a bicycle to a moped and now lived a very clean life, but at Bella’s insistence he rode faster.
Yes, it was freeing to take the road out of Bordo Del Cielo that would lead her to Matteo.
They drove alongside the ocean with the forest that had saved her on the other side and finally she was free to make her own choices, however unwise they might be.
She took the last flight out and was back at her flat by the small hours, and as she showered only then did Bella remember that she was supposed to be back at work at six to start the breakfasts.
With all that had happened in recent days, she had forgotten to swap her shift.
She wore no make-up as she pulled on a green uniform and her sensible lace-up shoes. She might regret it tomorrow but right now she would follow her heart.
* * *
And Matteo followed his.
He arrived in Rome to a packed city that felt empty, and after a short time away from Bella his head was already completely clear.
The decision he had been coming to since he had stood, right here at this fountain, was made now, and he took the coin from his pocket and tossed it in.
He would be back and with her by his side.
And if that were the case, there was a lot he needed to do.
He arrived back at the hotel and made the necessary phone calls and then he fell into a dreamless sleep.
Or, rather, it was dreamless at first.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
BELLA HAD NEVER been scared of the dark and she wasn’t now.
She walked down the alley at the side of the hotel and went in through the workers’ entrance, but she did not head to the kitchens where her shift was due to start later.
Instead, she took an elevator up to the top floors where she didn’t usually work.
She took out her swipe card and told herself that if he was not alone, there would be no more water-throwing, she would simply turn and leave.
She lied to herself!
But he was alone.
She knew it the second she walked in and saw him lying there. Matteo was asleep on his back and she stood a moment, allowing her eyes to adjust. He was far less careful with his clothes than yesteryear because they were all tossed on the floor, along with a couple of towels. She moved her gaze and took in the delicious sight of him. One arm was up over his head, his other hand was on his flat stomach and the sheet just covered him.
Bella walked over quietly and she wanted to wake him with a kiss but her fingers were too impatient to await instruction. Already they were on his shoulder and, feeling his skin beneath her fingers, she ran her hand down his arm, feeling him, as if testing that he was real.
Matteo fought not to wake. In his dream she was standing there, her fragrance, her touch, the perfection his senses knew.
He let out a breath and his hand moved a little lower on his stomach but then it was halted by hers and Bella lowered her head and kissed her sleeping beauty.
It was a soft kiss but sinful with seduction. As his lips parted her tongue slipped in and she hovered over him, holding his wrist, loving his mouth and the fact that he didn’t open his eyes.
It was a kiss that had her move over him and the feel of his hands on her hips, guiding her, was sublime. Still he did not open his eyes.
‘Am I dreaming?’ Matteo said, between slow kisses.
‘Maybe we both are.’
His hand dealt with the bow of her apron and then he undid the poppers on her robe and reacquainted himself with her naked breasts. She terminated their kiss and sat on his thighs, taking his lovely erection. It was, for Bella, healing to hold Matteo in her palm over and over.
‘How do you want me?’ she said.
‘Exactly as you are.’
She didn’t understand his meaning, it just felt like a very nice thing to hear as he pulled her up and lifted the skirt of her dress.
His eyes were now open, watching her lower herself onto him, and Bella let out a sob of remembrance and bliss as finally he was back to being her lover.
Matteo tore at her dress to remove it. He wanted to watch their reunion ; he wanted to revisit every inch of naked skin.
‘Careful,’ Bella warned. ‘I have to do the breakfasts at six...’
He shredded her dress despite the warning.
That she would fly through the night to give him this morning without knowing of his plans for them, that she would embrace one last depravity with him had Matteo pull her down to his mouth to kiss fiercely the only love he had known in his life.
He rolled her, yet they rolled in unison and she knotted her ankles as he moved to his elbows.
Their mouths were brutal, their bodies each other’s to own again, and right now Bella did not care for how long.
* * *
‘You left the wedding to come here?’
Bella nodded. ‘I knew as soon as you’d gone that I’d made a mistake. I have never regretted our times together, it’s the times we’re apart that are filled with remorse. I know that we can’t go anywhere.’
‘You don’t know that.’
‘But I do. I remember you saying, once a killer always a killer, once a whore—’
‘Bella,’ Matteo interrupted her, ‘I said that when I lived in Malvolio’s black and white world. Those were words we were raised on but we are away from all that now.’
‘True words, though,’ Bella said, and she told him a little of what had happened with her mother and her father. ‘He looked at her with disgust when he found out what she had done.’
‘Have I ever looked at you in disgust?’ Matteo asked.
‘No, but you don’t know what I did.’
‘Did?’ Matteo checked.
‘When I was trying to get to Rome.’
‘Tell me.’
‘I can’t.’
‘I think you have to, Bella,’ he said, not because he needed salacious detail, but because he didn’t understand. She had taunted him, flirted with him, come to him intending to pop out and serve breakfast afterwards! He was starting to realise that this side of Bella was exclusive to him and he could feel her shame, her pain for whatever it was that had gone on. ‘Bella, you can tell me anything.’
She looked up at him and realised that she could.
It had not been disgust she had seen in his eyes, it had been anger, and that had all gone now.
‘I’ve never told anybody.’
‘Then change that now.’
Bella nodded because her secret felt as if it was choking her.
So she told him about that night, how she had tried to get to the phone but Malvolio had been watching. And she told him how she had run through the forest and stopped by the ancient baths.
‘Then I saw the gas station and I was starting to think I had made it. I called you but I could not get through to you. A man offered me a lift to Messina. He was older and I honestly thought that he was being kind, then we got into the cabin and he...’ She cringed at the memory.