It would be doubly awkward for her. Turning once again and heading toward the front doors, she heard him call her name. Looking at him, she saw the way he watched her: intently, determined.
“If you change your mind I’d love to have you there. It’s a laidback party.” He cocked the corner of his mouth, and she swore she felt her uterus drop just a bit at the sight. “Twenty-Five Lake View Terrace,” he hollered out. “Just in case you change your mind.” He turned and left, and she stood there just staring at his retreating back.
Toby Mason had just invited her to a party, a party that was for the popular students at school, even one where college kids showed up. There was a part of her that wanted to go, but the rational part said it wasn’t realistic to want to hang out with a crowd that tormented her because she wasn’t one of them.
Things most definitely wouldn’t be smooth sailing if she went, but she also wanted to say fuck it, like Toby had put it. She wanted to say screw everyone. This was her last year, the last year she’d have to put up with everything, right?
It was tempting thinking about going and joining the fun, but she wasn’t a fool and knew that she’d never fit in, therefore she was putting it behind her and focusing on things that mattered.
3
“A party?” her mother said in her prim and tight voice. “I don’t think you going is a good idea, Shoshanna. You have studying to do.” Her mother looked down at the invitations she had spread across the table. “Darling,” she said to Shoshanna’s father, “Do you think these are too cheap looking for the garden party next month?” Her mother lifted the invitation to show her husband, but her dad was busy looking at something on his laptop.
“Whatever you like, sweetheart.”
Shoshanna left the sitting room because she knew the conversation was over between her and her mother. And it was in that moment she said screw it. She didn’t want to be here anymore, didn’t want to deal with the stress and drama and controlling nature she felt her mother was exerting.
Maybe it was childless, maybe it was dumb, but she didn’t care. She felt like she was about to tear out of her skin.
When she got to her room she silently shut the door and stared at her closet. She didn’t need her mom’s permission to go to a party. She was eighteen, could do what she wanted, even if this boldness and wild streak was so not like her.
But Shoshanna was sick of being a nobody, was tired of not being noticed, and when she did have attention on her she was classified as a geek.
She went over to her closet, pushed through all the cardigans and skirts, khakis and blouses, and finally found a shirt that was semi-decent for a party. She grabbed one of the only pair of jeans she owned, and a pair of ballet flats. When she was dressed she went over to the mirror on the back of her door and looked at her reflection.
Her long dark hair was flat and lifeless, so she grabbed an elastic tie and put it in a ponytail. Her glasses were the next thing to come off, and she grabbed the new set of contacts her mother had ordered for her this afternoon. Once she was dressed, and had gotten rid of the geeky frames, she stared at her reflection once again; she felt a little tingle of excitement and fear move through her.
She was actually going to do this, and whether it was a horrible idea or not was still yet to be determined.
4
Toby pushed his way through the throng of people that filled the house. Students from the high school and also from the local college were piled in the small house of one of the football players.
A drunken girl stumbled out from an empty room with Deacon all but fucking her right there in front of everyone.
She pushed him away and shook her head, and Deacon left her to grab the next available girl that walked by. She giggled and pressed her tits into his side.
“Toby.” Marilyn’s whiny, slurred voice told him she was drunker than shit, which was an immediate turnoff. Unhooking her arms from him, he gently pushed her away.
“You’re piss-ass drunk, and you know how annoying you are when you get like this.” He wasn’t trying to be a bastard, but for the last several months he’d been feeling off about her. Yeah, she was a bitch, picked on the less popular girls at school, Shoshanna mostly, and that pissed him off.
He wasn’t an asshole like that, even if he had a reputation at school for being a bastard.