He headed into his bedroom, shut the door, and closed his eyes as the room spun. “You still there?” he asked Ace when there was nothing but silence.
“Yeah, thought I was going to fucking upchuck those shots.”
Toby chuckled.
“Okay, I’m going to get off the phone, because my bed is looking pretty damn good right now.”
“We’ll talk soon, Ace. I have a feeling I’m going to be here for a while with my mom, wrapping up all of my old man’s affairs, and making sure everything is straight before I head back.”
They said their goodbyes, and Toby moved over to his duffle on the floor. He grabbed the bottle of whiskey from it. He had stashed it there during the wake hours, feeling shitty and knowing he’d need it later.
Yeah, he was pretty drunk as it was, but what he wanted was oblivion.
Sitting on the edge of the bed he undid his zipper, pulled out his cock, and closed his eyes. The image that slammed into his head was Shoshanna, of her long dark hair, the way she had been so giving, so primed and ready for him.
He wanted her for more than one night. He wanted her as his, and for a man like him, one that was used to getting pussy at random and on tap, to want only her was a big fucking deal.
He was a sick bastard for jerking off to the image of her, the scent of her hair that was ingrained in his head, and the memory of her sweet, lush body under his.
He gripped his cock, slid his palm up and down the length, and thought about Shoshanna. She was the only thing that could get his mind off of the past, off of the things that had happened even though she wasn’t here.
Even in Silver Springs Toby couldn’t escape his nightmares. He played it off well enough even though he was on his own and had a life outside of all of that.
He tilted his head back and let his thoughts be consumed by Shoshanna. It had only been a week and she’d already ensnared him. One night with her had shifted something inside of him, and he couldn’t even think straight.
God, what the hell was wrong with him wanting something, someone so much better than he was?
He brought the bottle of whiskey to his lips and took a long, hearty pull before setting the bottle down. His life was all sorts of fucked up, and he wanted desperately to be good, but it didn’t matter what he did, because deep down he was bad inside, ruined beyond comprehension.
In the darkness he could almost imagine he wasn’t alone jacking off.
Almost.
Toby pictured Shoshanna with him, touching him. It was her hand that moved up and down his dick. He was a sick fuck that had to stoop to this, but it was all he had and so he would take it. Lying back on the bed, he let the images that had been haunting him for what seemed like forever play through his head.
Her pussy was tight, hot and wet, and had gripped his cock to the point he couldn’t breathe. He could see her here with him, running her hands over his chest, pulling him closer as she whispered how much she wanted him.
He pumped his hand over his cock faster, and it felt good, God, did it feel good. But it was just empty pleasure. He was close to coming and gripped his erection with an iron fist. Grunting as he ran his palm over the crown of his cock, he smeared the pre-cum that leaked out of the slit and worked himself quicker, harder, and brought his orgasm to the surface faster.
A low groan left him as his balls drew up tight. His cum spewed out and covered his hand. He didn’t bother standing right away to clean himself up.
This was not the direction he wanted to go, but knowing his luck, the one thing that consumed him probably would never be his.
14
Ace stared at himself in the mirror after his shower. He had a towel around his hips, his hair was wet, and water dripped down his chest. The bathroom door to the hotel room he was staying in was partially opened, and the light from the bathroom spilled into the bedroom.
He saw the woman he’d just fucked passed out in the center of the mattress, the sheets pooling around her ass, and her face turned in the opposite direction. It was empty pleasure when he was with these random and nameless females. They were to pass the time because all he had in his life was work.
With his piece of shit father dead, his mother having passed away when he was just a kid, and the only female company he had these one-night stands, he was a lonely boy. But he liked it that way, because no way would a woman want a scarred, damaged fucker like him.