Maxine’s heart hiccupped but a warm feeling settled in her soul because she was hopeful for her mother. She was used to her mother’s behavior.
“No, thank you, Mom. I’m fine right here beside you.” Maxine smiled warmly as she sat beside her mother at the bedside. When she’d first noticed her mother’s symptoms, Maxine didn’t know what to do. She played along at first but was told by the doctor that it was best to gently redirect to reality if at all possible. Her mother was always fixated on being a princess and having all the love in the world. Who could blame her? She’d been through so much heartache in her life, she deserved some fantasy. Maxine wished she could give her mother everything right now.
Her mother’s hair hadn’t been washed yet and that crushed her spirit. She didn’t even know if her mother was bathed yet. Staffing was incredibly short at the nursing home. Maxine desperately wished she could hire a personal nurse to be with her mother twenty-four-seven when she was not there. Maxine took off her cardigan and placed it over the chair back.
“Here, Mom, I brought you your favorite. Pecan Danish.”
“Oh, joy!” Dora clasped her hands together. “I don’t know who you are but thank you so much.”
Maxine’s eyes stung with hot tears. Even though she’d called her “Mom” a few times since entering the room, Dora had forgotten. Her mom had seen better days. She wasn’t always pleasantly confused. There were some days when she was more lucid.
The trouble with her mom’s dementia diagnosis was that it was nonspecific. Some people with dementia could get confused and be unable to remember names or places while others were impaired in their daily living routines. But it was the change in personality and her mom’s social behavior that made Maxine seek help initially.
She was glad she did when she did. Her mother’s behavior was becoming out of control at home and after neighbors found her climbing the tree outside their apartment building in the middle of the night things had turned for the worse. She was taken in to the local hospital.
Still, Dora had good days and Maxine was well aware that dementia was treatable but the one shred of hope she held on to was that it was also reversible.
“Maxine, good to see you today.” Dr. Branson walked into the room with a chart in his hand.
“Oh, hi there.” Maxine spun her head around after wiping the teardrop off her cheek.
“Are you all right?”
“Oh, I’m good thanks. Just tired.”
“She’s such a sweetie, you know,” Dora chimed with her mouth full of pastry. “She is a good servant. Look what she prepared for me in the kitchen. I should give her a raise.”
Dr. Branson smiled at Dora. “Well, Dora, I think you’re very lucky to have Maxine here. I don’t think she’s a servant, though. She’s a wonderful daughter.”
“Oh?” Dora looked surprised at first. She looked at Maxine, then back to Dr. Branson, then shrugged and finished eating her Danish pastry, licking her fingers.
“Dora, I’m just going to speak with your daughter for a moment. Is that okay?”
“Yes, please don’t mind me. I’m off to visit my friend soon.”
Dr. Branson nodded and guided Maxine outside to the hallway. “How long has she been like this? All night?” Maxine asked concerned. “I thought she was getting better with the new medication.”
“Oh, she is, Maxine. It’s just that at times, your mother would regress to an earlier stage but we’re monitoring the situation very closely.”
“Oh, good.”
“Listen, I don’t mean to pry, but how are you doing?”
“Oh, I’m…okay. I just had a moment there when she didn’t know me again.” Maxine felt a lump in her throat. Her mother had days when she would acknowledge her as her daughter but unfortunately today wasn’t one of them.
“I know it can be hard. I just noticed you looked deep in thought there. For the past few weeks you’d been on cloud nine.”
“On cloud nine?”
Was it that obvious? That I had Lucas on my mind, fantasizing about him the whole time? Oh, how embarrassing. I must have looked like a complete idiot. And Lucas doesn’t even know I exist! He’s probably thinking about some other woman every waking minute.