“Thank you, Clelia.”
“Don’t mention it.”
Lann appeared in the door, carrying two large paper bags.
“What’s all that?” Clelia asked.
He emptied the bags, turning out ten different brands of brioche on the table. “I didn’t know which one you’d like.”
Getting up, Kat went on tiptoe and kissed him.
Iza arrived with rolls of fabric, wallpaper cutouts, and color charts. Kat liked her no-nonsense attitude and that she immediately grasped what Kat wanted. This was important to her. It was more than a room. Preparing a place for her baby’s arrival was all she had to offer her child. She wouldn’t kiss cuts and bruises better, wouldn’t get to tuck him in, or see his life and dreams take shape. She needed this, and she appreciated Clelia’s instinctive understanding that allowed her this luxury.
Iza, Clelia, and Kat visited the baby room to look at furniture designs. Kat pointed out a whitewashed crib and commode with a change table. “I love this, but I’d like to run it by Lann too.”
“Of course,” Iza said. “You can keep the brochures.” She unrolled a jungle theme mural design. “What do you think of this?”
“What the hell is the meaning of this?” an angry voice said behind them.
The three women turned from the table where the brochures and samples were spread out. Lann stood in the center of the room, watching them with a thunderous expression.
“It’s a room for our baby,” Kat said.
“I’ve gathered, but what’s the meaning of it?”
Kat frowned. She took a deep breath. “Clelia, Iza, do you mind if Lann and I have a word in private?”
If Iza had any judgment about Lann’s comment, she was polite enough not to show it.
On the way out, Clelia laid her hand on Lann’s arm. “She needs this.” She shot Kat a worried look.
Kat smiled at her to put her at ease. Lann wasn’t angry about the room. He was upset about what it implied. Kat understood that, but he had to stop fighting the inevitable.
She approached him slowly when Iza and Clelia had left. “This is the room where you’ll take care of our baby,” she said softly, “until you decide where to go. You may need some help after the birth, and Clelia was kind enough to offer.”
He clenched his jaw, regarding her with haunted eyes.
“You can stay here for as long as you need,” Kat said.
“Stop it.”
“Why are you angry about the room?” she asked, keeping her voice gentle.
“I’m angry because it hurts you,” he said through clenched teeth. “I’m angry that you’re doing this to yourself. Isn’t living with the knowledge a big enough rock around your neck? Do you seriously need a room to remind you as well? Do you enjoy torturing yourself? Just…” He lifted his hands, and then dropped them by his sides again. “Just stop. Please.”
She stood quietly until he’d unleashed his anger. “I can’t stop it. It’s going to happen, and I need you to accept it.”
Emotions flickered through his eyes as he wrestled with his control. The ever-changing air turned as thick as a diamond dust cloud. At long last he gave a ragged breath and dragged her into his arms.
She took his face between her hands. “I know this is hard, but I’m here for you. I love you, and I love this baby. I can’t help it. Forgive me for running from the clinic that day, for doing this to you. One day, I hope you’ll understand.”
He hugged her tighter. “Is that what you think? That I blame you? I only blame myself. I promise you, I’ll take care of our child if it’s the last thing I do.”
She sagged against his chest. She’d needed to hear those words so badly. “Will you love him?”
He kissed her. “I already do. I always will.”
Smiling through her tears, she said, “I think we should name him. I don’t want to refer to him as Baby any longer.”
“Thomas,” he said without hesitation.
“Thomas?”
“Like the saint.”
She wrapped her arms around his waist. “I like it.” She laughed, looking down at her belly. “I think he does too. He’s just moved.”
His eyes widened. “He did? Did he kick?” He cupped her stomach.
“It’s too early to feel kicks. It was more like the flutter of butterfly wings.” He stared at her for such a long time that she said, “What?”
“You’re just so goddamn beautiful.”
Pulling her close again, he kissed her as if she was a flower with petals that were easy to bruise.
After a scrumptious dinner prepared by Iza and Clelia to celebrate Kat and Lann’s engagement, the inhabitants of the Josselin Castle sat around the fireplace in the dining hall. Kat’s appetite had returned with a vengeance. It was too soon by normal standards, but Eve said it was because the baby she carried was developing faster than ungifted babies.
Wind swept drizzle against the panes. Kat moved closer to Lann on the sofa. Putting his arm around her, he stroked her hair. Joss leaned against the mantelpiece, swirling the Calvados in his glass, and Clelia sat on the rug by his feet, staring at the flames. Maya appeared bored, and Eve jumpy.