“A walk.” She smiled up at him. “I need to escape these walls.”
He descended and took her scarf from the coat stand. Winding it around her neck, he said without returning her smile, “I’ll come with you.”
His seriousness frightened her. “You don’t have to.”
“I need to talk to you.”
She tensed, but tried not to show it as Lann donned his jacket and escorted her outside with an arm draped around her shoulders.
They followed the path that ran through the garden to the shore of the lake. The sky was gray, the heavy clouds crowding it like cotton wool jammed into a jar.
“It’s going to rain,” Lann said, glancing at the horizon.
They stopped on the slate-colored sand.
Turning her to face him, he said, “I’m going after David.”
Her heart tripped in its beat. “Why risk your life? It’s over.”
“It’s not over.” He spoke with urgency. “It’ll never be over. If I don’t find him first, he will eventually find you.”
Fear constricted her chest. “When?” was all she managed to force through numb lips.
“This morning.”
“Today?” she cried out.
Lann took her hands. “Joss, Maya, and Cain are staying to protect you. You’ll be safe.”
“What if something happens to you?”
He stroked his thumbs over her palms in a reassuring caress. “I have to do this.”
“Don’t go.” Tears burned behind her eyes. “Please.”
Regret washed over his features. “I don’t want to leave you, but it’s my job. More importantly, I’m trying to protect you.”
Kat pulled her hands from his. “Your protection of me and my feelings has only ended up hurting me.”
She turned her back on him so he wouldn’t see the tears that finally fell. In the silence that followed, she tried to focus on the distance beyond the lake, but the scenery was a blur. He gripped her shoulders. When he turned her gently, she wiped at the tears and looked away.
He tilted her chin with a finger. “Don’t cry. I don’t want to leave you like this.”
“How do you expect me not to cry?” she asked with impatience.
He smiled. “Does that mean you care?”
She gaped at him. “How can you even ask me that?”
“You’ve never told me how you feel about me. What I’m sensing is resentment, anger, and sadness.” He wiped a tear away with his thumb. “What must I take these tears for then?”
How could he not know how she felt about him? How could he not understand how hard it was for her to let him go?
“It’s unbearable for me to think that anything should happen to you.” She paused. “If you still haven’t figured it out by now, I love you.”
“You love me?”
“That’s what I said.”
He crushed her body against his. “Say it again.”
She sniffed. “I love you.”
“Since when?”
“What does it matter?”
He pulled back to look at her. “It matters to me.”
“Since before the first time you left me,” she whispered. “I knew that day at the lake, when you took me for a picnic.”
Every promise she’d ever wanted a man to make shone in his eyes as he stared down at her. He claimed her lips with a hard kiss, drinking the air from her lungs until she saw stars. Only when she needed to breathe did he let her go.
“Please don’t go,” she said, tangling her fingers into the lapels of his coat. “If anything happens to you…”
“I know it’s hard.” He kissed her forehead. “The same thought, if anything should happen to you, drives me insane. Every minute of every day.”
He wiggled his ruby ring from his finger. When it came free, he lifted her hand, and slipped it onto the ring finger on her left hand.
“What are you doing?” she whisper-cried.
“Katherine, please accept this ring. Say you’ll marry me.” She tried to pull away, but Lann held fast. “Don’t turn away from me. Not now. If you love me, you’ll wear my ring. God knows, you’re already carrying my baby in your belly.”
“That’s exactly why I won’t do it.”
He shook her gently. “Why? I love you. I’m the father of your child. You just confessed to loving me. Why won’t you do it?”
Freeing herself from his grip, she took a step back and said in a brittle voice, “Because I don’t want to make you a widower.”
The sharp intake of his breath accompanied the pain in his eyes. He didn’t chase her when she took another step away.
They faced each other silently.
After a moment, he said, “Come back here.”
She hesitated for a second, but then obeyed, because she’d vowed not to walk away from him again. Even if it was an oath made in the heat of the moment, it was still a promise. When she was within his reach again, he hugged her against him.
“I’ve made many mistakes in my life,” he said, brushing her hair from her face. “The worst was letting you go, even if I did it to protect you. You said I didn’t give you a choice, and you’re right. I didn’t. I should have, and I regret not giving you at least that. Now, I’m asking you, even if I don’t deserve it, to give me a choice. Don’t make my mind up for me, Katherine.”