But ridding herself of her baby wouldn’t be like that.
On the contrary, the memory would haunt her to her grave. Her love for a baby she was yet to name wouldn’t let her take the hand Lann offered. She couldn’t go through with it, no matter the cost.
Lann’s expression shifted. His concern made way for fear. He took a step toward her, still reaching for her. “It’s going to be all right.”
It was a lie. She looked around, searching for a way to escape. They were on an airfield, in the middle of nowhere. She had nowhere to run to, nowhere to go. If she was going to get away from him and Eve, she had to play along. For now.
She forced herself to take a step.
“Good girl,” he said with a warm smile, but his body remained tense. “Come to me, sweetheart.”
She took another step. He waited perfectly still, as if he were talking her down from a ledge. When she was within his reach, he gripped her fingers tightly. He pulled her to him and then into the warmth of the car. Inside, he put an arm around her shoulders, hugging her to his body. Stiff with tension, she allowed the caress. She needed to save her strength for the battles that mattered. She let him believe she was giving up, giving in. Surprise was the strongest weapon.
“It’s going to be fine,” he whispered in her hair. “I’ll find a way to make this up to you.”
Eve shot her a questioning look, but Kat avoided her eyes by looking through the window. The driver pulled away.
“Where are we?” Kat asked.
“We’re south of Paris,” Lann said, “close to Versailles.”
The fields changed to suburbs, and the suburbs to skyscrapers. After a forty-five-minute drive, they stopped in front of a skyscraper with glass walls.
“We’re here,” Lann said, his announcement sounding like a verdict.
He got out and gave Kat a hand. Eve followed.
“Come on,” he said, taking Kat’s arm. “The driver will bring our luggage.”
It was late afternoon. A weak sun, already low on the horizon, peered through the clouds. They didn’t go through reception, but entered via a side entrance. Eve led them through a hallway down to a basement and up a staircase to a floor with a private sign. She opened the door to a room handsomely furnished with a whitewashed armoire, bed, and nightstand. Original paintings lined the walls, and a flat screen television was mounted on the one facing the bed. Vases full of flowers stood on every surface. Gold of Kinabalu orchids. Funeral flowers. Condolence flowers. Her heart clenched so painfully it was difficult to breathe. Mechanically, she lifted the card next to the vase on the nightstand. From Lann.
Lann helped her out of her coat and hung it in the armoire before unbuttoning his own. The driver followed with their bags and left them in the room.
When he was gone, Eve said, “I’ll let you two get settled in. Kat, I’ll have dinner sent over right away. I suggest you eat, because in an hour’s time you can’t eat or drink anything until tomorrow morning. I’ll do the procedure at seven. I’ll come fetch you at six. Have a shower tonight. Any questions?”
Kat had plenty, but none of those mattered now. She shook her head.
“See you tomorrow.” Eve squeezed Kat’s hand. “Everything will be fine.”
She left and closed the door on the false promise.
Silence descended.
They faced each other as the awkwardness stretched.
Kat cleared her throat and forced her vocal cords to function. “You’re staying here, in this room?” she asked, glancing at his bag that stood snugly next to hers.
“I told you, I’m not going to let you do this alone.”
She bit her lip to stop herself from replying. Nothing she said was going to make a difference.
He lowered his glasses to look at her. “Do you need anything? Do you have any cravings? Can I get you some wine or snacks?”
She was about to say she wasn’t drinking alcohol when an idea crossed her mind. “There is something, if you don’t mind.”
“Anything.”
“Eve said some ginger would help.”
“Of course,” he said, buttoning his coat back up.
She gave him a weak smile and sat down on the bed. “Thank you.”
The walls were painted yellow. Maybe it was to create a cheerful mood, or at least fake it. From her window, she had a pretty view of the garden, and soft music played through a central system. What would their child look like? Would it be a boy, with blond hair and strange yellow eyes, or a girl?
“What are you thinking?” he asked, watching her too closely.
“I’m tired. I think I’ll lie down until you get back.”
His voice softened. “I won’t be long. If you need something while I’m gone, press this button.” He showed her a button on the wall.