Amara laughs the first time I lose my footing and end up on my ass. She laughs the second time, too. The third time I pull her down into my lap and the way her eyes go wide tells me she feels what I’m packing down there. She doesn’t say anything, of course, not with Toby there, but she wiggles against me just a little and I know she knows what she’s doing.
“I’m better at this. I don’t fall over all the time.” Toby sticks out his tongue as he skates by, and Amara gasps.
“Toby! What would your mother say?”
I stick my fingers in the sides of my mouth and pull it wide while blowing a raspberry at him, making both him and Amara laugh.
“Don’t encourage him, you,” she says, punching my arm playfully, and I grin.
“He’s a good kid.”
“Yes he is, and I’m going to have to explain to his mother why he’s pulling faces at her later.”
I can’t believe how much like a family this feels, or how much I suddenly realize I’ve wanted this. Being here, with Amara and Toby, is what’s been missing from my life. I’ve never really thought about life that way, always thought I was happier on my own. It’s been so many years since the last time I even looked at a woman, I think my dick thought it was no longer needed and went into some sort of hibernation, but now it wants out and it wants to remind me of its purpose.
Its ultimate purpose, beyond making both myself and Amara feel good.
I’ve never wanted to make a baby before, but now I can’t get that thought off my mind. With Amara, everything is different.
“Come on,” she says, pushing herself to her feet, and I’m instantly sorry to not have her pressed against me. She offers me her hand and helps me up off the ice. “I’m going to get you skating properly if it’s the last thing I do.”
Two or three hours must pass while the three of us act like a little family. I catch glimpses from other parents out on the ice who clearly also think that’s what we are and I don’t bother to correct them. But as much as I might like to pretend, Toby’s mom still turns up as the sun starts to fall towards the horizon and takes him away, leaving me and Amara on our own.
As I walk her back up the path, away from the ice rink, I decide the time is right.
“Amara, let me take you out on a date,” I tell her. She draws a breath to say something, but I press a finger to her lips. “Let me speak. I know I’m a nobody, but I’m a hard worker. I can provide for you. Fuck, I’ll work every hour God sends to give you the things you’re used to, just let me show you. I can be good for you, I know I can. Let me just take you on one date, show you how well I can treat you.”
She stops walking and turns my way, taking my hands in hers. When her head tips back to look up at me, I nearly lose my breath. She’s so fucking beautiful it breaks my heart. I feel sure she’s about to say yes, but then I see her eyes darken, and her words cut me to the bone.
Chapter 7 – Amara
I’m about to kiss him. The urge is so strong, I’m not even sure I’m in complete control of my own body. His blue-gray eyes cut through to my soul, making me forget how to breathe, how to swallow, how to stop myself from biting into my bottom lip. I want Saint so bad, I’ve wanted him for days. Every thought I’ve had is of him. Every time I wake up, he’s the image I see in my head, and every time I go to sleep he’s there in my dreams.
How can he say he’s a nobody? He’s everything.
Everything I’ve ever wanted. Everything I need. I don’t care how much money he makes or if he can give me nice things. I know deep down that he’ll give me everything I need and he’ll know exactly what that is. Just look at the way he was with me and Toby this afternoon. It was like we were a proper little family of our own and it was almost a shame when I had to give Toby back to his mother.
Saint makes me feel safe. He makes me feel loved. He makes me feel—
The flash of light off sunglasses draws my attention away from his eyes and I see the man watching us. He’s casually dressed and looking disinterested, but I know that he’s here for me. Do I recognize him? Maybe. Either way, I know he’s one of my father’s men. The fact that he’s here means they haven’t moved on, and I was a fool to think they would. My father won’t stop, and being here with Saint is just putting him in danger.