Now I saw them swagger onto the stage.
And OMG, did that cause me and all the other women in that place to swoon.
The four gods literally sat on pedestals before us. Technically they were on bar stools, but the similarity was startlingly self-evident.
Gill moved in between them, a microphone in hand. “Well then, Jenny, are you ready to begin?”
“Yes, Gill, I’m ready.” Good for her. She sounded confident and happy to be up there. For some reason, this pleased me.
“How about you guys? Are our hunky pro-ballers ready for this as well?”
They had enraptured me with their smart manners and good looks, but I did not know what to do with this new information. They were the Arlington Argonauts, the home team, the players in the bar because of a charity stunt.
I felt a little let down by this discovery. Not only were my sudden crushes way out of my league on the spectrum of appearance, but financially and publicity-wise too. Football stars didn’t seduce lowly bar cooks, any more than they’d go on a date with SpongeBob SquarePants.
“We’re ready, aren’t we, boys?” Ethan clapped and cheered, which got the rest of his team, as well as the crowd riled up. Honestly, it seemed like a lot of the crowd had come to see the hunks from the home team more than to see a dating game show tribute. Or knock-off. Whatever this was.
“Let’s get started, shall we? Jenny, why don’t you ask your first question to tonight’s bachelors so you can judge which of these hunky pro footballers will join you for a date.”
“Well, uh,” Jenny stuttered, looking at her index cards, briefly displaying a moment of nervousness, which was sweet. It made her more human and won the crowd’s support. She had my sympathy. You couldn’t pay me enough to get up there like that.
“Um, okay, so let’s say we hit it off, and you invite me over for dinner at your place. What are you cooking for me for our first dinner date in your home?”
“Oh, the big first meal.” Gill tried to raise the energy and tension. “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but I think all the girls here know the same is true for us too.”
The boys murmured, looked at one another, and nodded.
Holding the microphone out in front of her, Gill approached the first one on the left. Clean cut. Handsome. The kind of guy I would bring home to Mom. “Contestant number one, what do you say about that?”
The guys’ names were stuck high on the back wall above their heads for the benefit of the audience. That must have been explained in the intro that I missed before I left the kitchen. It made sense. Jenny knew she was picking one of these guys, but if she didn’t recognize them by their voices, giving them each a number kept a little mystery about it.
Ethan rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Uh, I guess my old standby is some chicken in the slow cooker? Got a nice BBQ sauce that I use, really good for protein, and I guess people like it for non-protein reasons such as taste.”
“How very utilitarian of you, Ethan.”
“You can’t go wrong with slow-cooked chicken. And if you and I are getting along that well, Jenny, you’ll find I like to take my time over other things too.”
My breath hitched. And just about every woman in the audience probably had some physical reaction to the way he delivered that answer.
“Okay, Jenny. Contestant number one likes to take his time and keep things simmering.” Set on keeping the show going, Gill had stage presence and charisma. I could see a woman like her dating one of these guys. She’d take it in her stride, and surely she’d turn their heads. “How about you, contestant number two?”
Tyler laughed. “I wouldn’t even bother cooking. I’d order us a pizza and use the time saved to get on and do some other things together. You know what I mean?” He gave the audience a conspiratorial wink. “You can have any size and flavor you want. But I hope you like it hot and spicy. And let me warn you, it’ll be a large one.”
With his short, spiky hair and black leather jacket, he nailed a bad boy image. I’d never been attracted to bad boys, but for him, I’d definitely make the exception. And so would the other women in the audience, judging by their gasps and nervous laughter at his innuendo.
“What about you, number three? Are you thinking of sharing some spicy Italian sausage with someone who might very well be your soulmate?” Gill laughed as she moved over to Jake and offered him the microphone.
“Uh...” Jake appeared taken aback by Gill’s suggestion. He’d been gazing in my direction. I’d say right at me, but that couldn’t have been true. “Probably just a steak or something? I can make a pretty good steak when I need to. And toss up a nice leafy salad. Bit of salt and pepper. Good quality olive oil.”