I shied away from that fresh layer of pain. My heart couldn’t take it.
I was letting down everyone I loved. I was a failure, a traitor. A disappointment.
I swiped away a stray tear and focused on the notes, trying to absorb the information. If I could just succeed at academics, maybe I could at least win my father’s affection back.
For hours, I stared at the pages before me, slowly flipping through them before backtracking to try to actually read the words I’d been glossing over.
I jolted when the bedroom door opened. Marco hadn’t bothered to knock.
I didn’t look at him, but I could feel his approach. He set down a glass of water and a perfectly golden grilled cheese beside my notes. A thick, dark chocolate brownie was plated separately, delicately dusted with powdered sugar.
“You didn’t eat enough at lunch, princess. I know it’s a little early for dinner, but you must be hungry.”
I nodded, a rote motion. I wasn’t hungry. I was just…empty.
He tucked my hair behind my ear, and I flinched. He withdrew slowly. I could feel the weight of his eyes considering me, but I kept my gaze glued to my notes.
He sighed. “I’ll be back for those plates in half an hour. I expect them to be empty. Do you understand?”
He was using that authoritative tone again. So, I nodded my agreement.
Another beat of heavy silence passed before his footsteps retreated. Moving as though in a dream, I ate the sandwich. It was perfect; just crispy enough, with at least four types of gooey cheese inside. The flavors were comforting, and I devoured the whole thing in a matter of minutes without thinking.
The decadent brownie should’ve been cloying on my acid tongue, but even though I was devastated, I couldn’t deny the allure of chocolate.
When I was finished, I went back to staring at my notes.
Marco came to retrieve the plates a while later. His murmured “good girl” made a thread of warmth curl in my chest, but it did little to ease the chill inside.
Time passed. I went through the notes again, flipping the pages every few minutes to give myself something to do.
I didn’t realize that night was falling until Marco came and flipped on the light. I blinked against the sudden illumination, but I kept my eyes downcast when he approached.
“It’s time to put your notes away. Brush your teeth and get ready for bed,” he ordered.
It seemed early for that, but I wasn’t really doing anything, anyway. Sleep sounded like a good idea.
I nodded again.
I did as he instructed, and a while later, my mouth tasted minty fresh as I tucked myself under the duvet. The silky pink nightgown Joseph had bought for me glided across my skin as I moved, but I barely registered the lush sensation. I closed my eyes and drifted, somewhere between sleep and wakefulness.
Sometime later, the soft click of the bedside lamp turning on roused me. I rolled onto my back and opened my eyes to find Joseph looking down at me, a small smile curving his sensual lips.
“Hey, angel. I missed you.”
A harsh sob tore from my chest, and I turned my face into the pillow. I couldn’t face him. I couldn’t confess what I’d done. I couldn’t lose him.
He shushed me gently and sat on the bed. His strong arms closed around me, lifting me so I rested against his chest. He rubbed his hand up and down my back, trying to soothe me.
Once I confessed, he would never hold me again. I sobbed harder, clinging to him.
“I’m sorry,” I forced out. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he said gently, continuing to stroke and comfort me. “You’re okay. Don’t cry, angel.”
“But I… You don’t know…” I choked on the words, unable to voice the depth of my betrayal.
“Marco told me what happened. It’s okay.”
My next sob caught in my throat. I blinked hard to clear my tears away. I peered up at him to read his expression.
“What?” I asked thickly.
He smoothed my hair back from my forehead. “It’s okay,” he said again. “I know what happened, and it’s okay.”
I shook my head. “You don’t understand,” I said, each word causing pain to knife through my chest. “I kissed him back.”
“I know. And I’m not upset with you, angel.”
My breath stuttered. I could hardly dare to believe it. “So, you don’t… You don’t hate me? You forgive me?”
How could it be so easy? If Joseph had touched another woman, I’d be heartbroken.
“Of course I don’t hate you. There’s nothing to forgive.”
My brow furrowed. I didn’t understand. How could he not care? He’d been so fiercely possessive of me when we’d first met. He still was. I could feel it in the desperate way he kissed me.
“You aren’t angry?”
Impossibly, he gave me a dazzling smile. “You make me very happy, angel.”