The chest-tightening, clammy-palmed anxiety about being stared at didn’t materialize, though. Even as mad as she was at Ford, there was no denying that being with him acted as a nerves minimizer.
She vaguely listened while Ford told Frankie what had happened and ordered him to get his ass out to her house to get them out. On autopilot, she hit the end-call button, unable to look away from the man who’d turned her life upside down.
“What do you mean, protect me?” she asked, trying to stay mad at him so she wouldn’t feel how every hard inch of him was pressed against her and how happy her pheromones—and girly bits—were to be near his pheromones—and more—again.
“My superiors knew about the box.” His hand rubbed soothing circles across the small of her back that set off a wave of awareness through her. “I didn’t tell them. They wanted to send someone else to check it out.”
“And you didn’t want that because…?”
“If there was something illegal in the box, I didn’t want it to fall back on you.” The circling against her back stopped as he adjusted his stance, something that brought them even closer together than they had been before. “I wanted to protect you.”
“Why?” It didn’t make sense. None of it made sense. Ford always followed the rules. She’d actually seen him reading the rules for Monopoly one night instead of just playing house rules like a normal person. Her breath hiccuped as the first hint of hope started to fill her up.
“Because I love you and I know you. You wouldn’t knowingly have anything to do with your brothers’ illegal activities.”
Of course not. It was ridiculous to assume, but how many times had other people done just that? Ford hadn’t, though. Not even that first night. She may have a problematic last name, but he’d never judged her on that. Her heartbeat sped up, and she had to dig her nails into her palms to keep from melting against him. He still was going to break her heart some day. Might as well be a clean break today.
The sounds of a fire truck’s sirens could be heard in the distance, getting closer with each heartbeat. If she could just make it through the next few minutes, then she’d be free—to do what, she had no idea.
“You lied to me about my brothers, about why you were in my house.” A bittersweet agony gripped her chest and squeezed tight because she he had a way of making her want to believe. She looked up at him, his face a little blurry because of the tears making her eyes watery, and then dropped her gaze. She couldn’t face seeing his reaction when the truth came out. “What else did you lie about?”
“I never lied about how I feel about you,” he said, reaching up with his free hand and brushing back a strand of her hair that had tumbled free.
The sirens grew louder, and she could see the fire engine in her peripheral vision, but she couldn’t look away from Ford.
“The fact is, you deserve better than me. I’m the lucky one, and I fucked it all up because I was too scared of losing you to tell you the truth, to tell you that I’d fallen in love with you.” He cupped her face with his large hands and forced her to look up at him. “I love your laugh, your smile, and the way you look at the world as if it’s like the Victorian, just needing someone to love it.” He smiled down at her, warm and encompassing, and promising so many tomorrows. “I love how you feel in my arms. I love how you make me feel every time you walk into a room. I even love being stuck in this damn hole with you, because it means that I get to see your beautiful face.”
“Don’t,” she said, continuing to fight the hope expanding in her chest. “It’s okay. I know how I look and I really am good with it now.”
The sirens were blaring by now as the engine pulled to a stop in front of her house, but she barely heard them or saw the firefighters getting out. Ford was the only person that mattered.
“I do, too. You’re beautiful, and I love the woman you are because of your face, not in spite of it.” He dipped his head down and brushed her lips with his, setting off a cascade of sensations that left her breathless. “I fucked everything up, and I can’t say I won’t mess up again, but I love you, Gina Luca, and I’m okay with doing whatever it takes to prove that to you.”