“Oh, and Phil. Sorry, Philmore. I didn’t forget you, I swear,” she amended.
“So when do we leave?”
“Right now. You have time for a shower.”
“Do I have time for a shower with you?”
“No.”
I ran my tongue along my top lip and then bit into the bottom.
“Okay,” she caved. “There’s definitely time for the special shower.”
The sun was at full strength, and the humidity was set to fucking mist when we pulled into the campsite that afternoon. It was a perfect recipe for severe storms, and by the way Kline jumped out of the car with Georgie like there was a fire under his ass, I wasn’t the only one who’d noticed.
I glanced back to Frankie in the back seat, and his green eyes said he knew what I was thinking. “We better bust a nut, dude.”
“Yep. I’m guessing we’ve got an hour, tops, before it pours.”
“What are you guys, meteorologists?” Cassie scoffed while Phil snorted his way around the floorboard at her feet.
“It’s a fucking sauna outside,” I explained. “It’s not like I had to calculate the atmospheric pressure and wind shear.”
“What?” Claire asked.
“Don’t ask, baby,” Frankie advised.
“What?” I laughed. “You don’t like my above-average interest in weather, Franklin?”
“Oh, my God,” Cassie cried. “You’re a weather geek.”
I narrowed my eyes.
“I’m engaged to a fucking nerd.”
Claire laughed, and Frankie gave me a pat on the shoulder. “It had to come out sometime, buddy.”
“Fuck you guys.”
“Aw, don’t be sad, Thatcher. Come on. Turn me on. What’s the force calculation for my pussy?”
The answer poured out without planning. “Your pussy is usually stationary, and since force is mass times acceleration, it’s really my cock that possesses the force in our equation.”
“Oh, my God,” she squealed. “It’s like I don’t even know you.”
A tiny twinge of something panicked at the thought that maybe she didn’t know me. What if she found out something that made her decide to move on? I didn’t know if I could take it.
Unhappy with that line of thinking, I shut it down completely before it could get carried away. I had enough baggage working against me on this trip. I didn’t need anything extra weighing me down.
“Come on, Frankie,” I grumbled. “Help me set this shit up.”
The sound of Cassie’s laughter finally died down as I stepped outside and shut the door. That could have been the soundproofing of my Range Rover, though.
“Why does Cassie look like she swallowed a clown?” Georgia asked from across the site. Kline had her holding one corner of their tent while he staked the one opposite. Tall trees shot up around the entire perimeter, and pine needles made a bed on the ground in between. It was big enough to hold six or seven tents, thankfully. Of course, Wes was late like always, so if we somehow managed to run out of room, the joke would be on him.
Frankie was all too eager to share the cause of Cassie’s near on fit of hilarity. “Thatch just showed her his science boner.”
“It was bound to happen sometime,” Kline shouted. “I think it’s some kind of mathematical certainty. After he showed her his other boner so many times, he was contractually obligated to show her this one.”
“There!” I pointed as though there was some high court in the woods that would come down with an explanation or ruling. “Jesus. Why doesn’t anyone make fun of Kline for being smart?”
Kline smirked and gave me an innocent shrug while Georgia leaned down to whisper something in his ear with a blush.
Fucking hell.
“Come on, Thatcher,” Cassie called, having finally exited the car with a squirming Phil in her arms. “Come set up our tent so you can show me your thunder down under!”
Crazy.
Mine.
“Let’s take a hike!” Georgia stood in front of my lawn chair and held out her outstretched hand. “Come on, lazy bones, let’s get some fresh mountain air.” Phil tugged at the leg of my chair in an attempt to go to her. Fucking Georgia. The Animal Whisperer.
Thatch had been right about the rain yesterday, and truth be told, I’d been impressed as hell by his plethora of random knowledge. I mean, the guy hadn’t gone to school for that shit, but still, he had a real understanding of it.
After I buttered him up with some bedtime boning, he’d finally told me that late in college, he’d been restless and searching for things to drown out the white noise. When he wasn’t getting Kline and Wes into all the trouble he could think up, he was studying all kinds of things until his mind started to wander again.
The result was one really fucking smart fiancé.
My face scrunched up in annoyance. “Ugh, Wheorgie,” I muttered and wished I was anywhere but in the hot heat of the midafternoon sun in the middle of the goddamn wilderness. “It’s hot. I’m annoyed. And you’re too fucking perky.”
Camping was one of those things that was a good idea in theory. But when you actually experienced it—the bugs, the heat, sleeping on the hard ground of a tent—you realized it sucked donkey dick.
She laughed. “Shut up and come with me.”
“Why can’t Big Dick go hiking with you?”
“Because he just walked down to the water with the guys and Claire to fish.”
I slipped my sunglasses over my eyes and leaned my head back, hoping she’d eventually go away if I fell asleep.
“That’s not going to work,” she declared, and I heard her footsteps crunch against the gravel as she moved behind me. “Get your ass up!” she exclaimed as she gripped the top of my chair and pushed forward. Phil took off as soon as the end of his leash cleared the bottom of the leg.
I fell out of my seat, and my ass hit the ground a few seconds later.
“What the hell!” I shouted and looked up to find my asshole of a best friend grinning down at me with a hand on her hip. “My pig is on the loose now!”
“Might as well give in now. You have to go catch Phil anyway.” She held her hand out again, and I eventually took it and got to my feet.
“For the record, you’re my least favorite person on this camping trip.”
“That’s okay, Casshead.” She wrapped her arm around my shoulders and all but pushed me toward the trails. “I’ll win your love back before the hike is through.”
I snorted. “Don’t hold your breath.”
For maybe the fourth time in my life, I broke into a jog before Phil could wander off to some deserted section of the woods where inbreds lived.
“Which trail do you want to take?” she asked when Phil and I came back a few minutes later.
I had two options, go up or go down, and for some insane reason, my belly didn’t drop to my feet at the thought of facing a few heights. I had a feeling this had everything to do with Thatcher and his need to desensitize me to things. I pointed toward the one that led up rather than down. “Let’s see what kind of views we can catch above the water.”
She grinned.
“Don’t take that as me getting excited about this.”
“Oh, I won’t,” she said but continued with her perfect fucking grin.
As we made our way up the trail, I couldn’t help but get lost in the lush views of trees and nature as far as the eye could see. It was a different world from the hustle and bustle of the city. And if I was being a little honest, I was enjoying the change of pace. Besides the mosquitos buzzing and the dirt kicking up into my face and the overall sweaty quality my skin tended to take up in this heat-infested shit forest, it was really kind of nice.
We passed through a clearing and I stopped, staring in the direction of the edge of a cliff that jackknifed straight toward the lake. Slowly, I inched forward until I could peek over and catch sight of the sun glistening off the water. My head spun a bit from the abrupt drop, but I had the overwhelming urge to strip naked and jump in.
“Holy shit, this is gorgeous,” Georgia said, taking in the view. “Are you okay, Cassie? I know heights aren’t really your thing.”
“I’m good, actually.” My feet inched a little closer to the edge. “I feel like that water is calling my name right now. It’s so hot out here I swear I’m going to end up choking on air.”
She held her hands above her eyes to block out the bright rays. “Hey, isn’t that the guys and Claire?”
I glanced toward the left and saw our group kicked back on the rocky edge, fishing poles in hand. They were definitely within yelling distance. “Yo, Thatch!” I shouted, and he glanced up in our direction. “Take off your pants!”
“Show me your tits!” he called back, and I could see his wide grin.
Georgia laughed, and I had the overwhelming urge to do something a little reckless as I continued to stare down at the water. Fuck it, you only live once, I thought as I toed out of my shoes and took off my T-shirt and jean shorts, leaving me in only my bra and panties, and handed Phil’s leash to Georgia.
“Whoa, what are you doing, Cassie?” she questioned in confusion.
“I’m going to jump in,” I told her.